Nik's notes

The Rules of Tennis

2011-06-30T22:56:00.003-04:00

One of my favorite things about coming home to Georgia is hanging out with my nieces. They are 13 and 18, which means they are now at ages where I can actually relate and we can have a really good time together. They are both full of personality and crack me up on the regular.

A couple of nights ago, my little sister (22), my two nieces, and I went to the tennis courts up the street for some nighttime tennis. None of us are superstars but we all have a genetic athletic prowess which allows us to be at least somewhat competent in most sports (except bowling; I did not get that gene), so I thought we could at least get some good hits in.

Or. . .not.

Turns out we all super suck at tennis. Thus, to make things a little easier on ourselves, we developed these 4 basic rules for tennis that anyone can follow:

Rule Number 1: It helps if you keep your eyes open.

Rule Number 2: Make contact with the ball.

Rule Number 3: Hit the ball over the net.

Rule Number 4: All rules except these are superfluous.

Happy Tennis-ing!

Tales from the Crypt

2011-05-29T23:15:00.003-04:00

Recently I had a multi-day jury trial. My client, to put it nicely, was not a defense attorney's dream. Long record, weird slightly scary tattoo, spastic hair, crazy eyes. We were not exactly besties.

After trial was over, I learned the following story: The district attorney was displaying photos on a giant screen, so I had positioned myself on the other side of the courtroom to see them. Meanwhile, back at the defense table, client started squirming around in his seat. . .every time they showed a picture he didn't like.

My boss, sitting right behind defense table, noticed client's fidgeting and leaned up to him.

"Settle down. You need to act like you are expecting everything that comes out of their mouths. Nothing is a surprise to you." Boss advised.

Client leaned down, nodded, and assured my boss, "This is my third jury trial."

Gratitude List

2011-04-17T23:00:00.005-04:00

This article about a "gratitude practice" popped up on my Twitter feed today, and although I only skimmed it, I do like the idea. I try to stay aware of the little things, especially when the big things have me down, but I thought writing it down might go a step further toward lightening my mood.

So here's my list of what I'm grateful for today (in no particular order):

- Conversations with friends, old ones and new ones

- That I met him at all (I guess)

- Tulips galore and my neighbors who planted them (tulips are my favorite flower, so simple and beautiful)

- I saw Susan Gibson and Jana Pochop last night, a rare treat of real music in my tiny town. They were awesome. Brought me back to my roots, also made me even more excited to be in Texas (they live in Austin!).

- Guacamole

- The cutest dog in the world lives at my house

- I vacuumed some stuff!!!!! (Now only 4845721721 other chores that need doing that didn't get done that should've been done 3 weeks ago. Pfft. What.ever.)

- RAFA WON HIS 7TH STRAIGHT TITLE IN MONTE CARLO! (Did I mention I had a dream we made out last week? Hands down, best. dream. ever.) I'm grateful for Rafa, always.

So many dirty thoughts, so little time.

This was fun. Am actually smiling and happier (Rafa will do that). Post your gratitude list on your own blog or in the comments (all 2 of you :).

Samudra

2011-04-16T13:17:00.006-04:00

Somewhere along the way of practicing yoga and dipping my toe into Buddhism I picked up a tip to help quiet the mind while trying to meditate: Picture yourself sitting at the bottom of the ocean, where everything is still, and the waves and turmoil are all above you, on the surface.

The metaphor, of course, is that our thoughts and emotions can swirl around us but at the core we can remain peaceful. I've always found it a particularly helpful exercise, perhaps because I am so drawn to the ocean anyway, and I find myself coming back to it sometimes in the middle of a hectic day when I pause to take a couple of breaths.

Today I feel quite literally like sitting on the ocean floor, except the couch is my sand and the current around me is everything I have to do, emotions I'm trying to avoid, thoughts too difficult to deal with. As long as I sit here and remain still, everything is fine. But the moment I get up the peace is gone and stress descends.

I'm not quite sure what to do. I try to live by the motto, "ride the wave," and right now the wave is crushing me, holding me under, like what my dad used to call "rolling" me, when you can't find the surface and the tide somersaults you and for a brief couple of seconds you think you might really drown. I'm trying to remind myself that I never drown. I always find air, and my feet always right themselves, and I am free to swim to shore or continue playing in the surf.

Just yesterday I told a friend that very early on in my life I began writing my own rules and forging my own path. I don't regret that, nor do I plan to stop doing it. Sometimes, though, it just feels so hard. Sometimes I just wish I could follow the steps that seem to work for everyone else instead of breaking my own ground. But I know my truth, and to ignore that would bring me more unhappiness than the pain and loneliness of making my own way.

So after I publish this post, I'm going to get up off the couch and jump into the current, because the peace here is false and if I don't fight for air, then I have succumbed to the wave instead of riding it. It's not time for riding and floating. It's time to paddle and duck dive. Hard work and patience. Another good set will come.

It Must Be Love...

2011-03-27T21:06:00.002-04:00

...Because I've divulged my affinity for Britney Spears.

(For the record, the result was an alternative lyric to Til the World Ends, "I'm a dirty dirty dirty whore.")

WTF was I thinking?

2011-01-26T00:22:00.003-05:00

Ya'll. This re-studying for the bar exam thing, three and a half years after I already passed it once...worst.idea.ever.

I've been half-assing it for a couple of weeks, but now it's almost crunch time, and I'm starting to slightly panic.

To make it worse, work and personal life haven't really been helping matters. And the weather? BOO.

But today I got my "ticket" in the mail. I'm definitely taking it in Austin, which is a huge relief. More importantly, I'm now kind of excited. I get to buy a plane ticket. I have to start thinking logistics.

Shit's gettin' real.

And I like it.

NYE and the aftermath

2011-01-02T16:43:00.007-05:00

So New Year's Eve in Times Square was E.P.I.C. About the only thing missing was alcohol, but honestly, it was so fantastic that I didn't miss it. That being said, my friend EH and I did a good job of making up for a sober NYE by drinking no less than 7 mimosas at brunch on January 1, followed by bloody marys and a long island iced tea at a bar after. Hey. The mimosas were free because our waiter fell on us, knocked our table over, and spilled ketchup on my jacket. What were we supposed to do?

Anyway, who doesn't love a good drunk Niki story? That's what I thought. So I present to you a collection of sent text messages from yesterday afternoon/evening. It all began really with the one I sent to Twitter at 2:46pm: I am fucking wasted! I have to get on bus in 1 hour! Holla! 2011 is the best year EVER!

To Twitter: Whoops. 2 hours. Yes! More time to drink!

To JL: I love being drunk so e cking much! Woot!

To JH: I'm on the bus with Chris. Midnight. (note: JH was picking me up at the bus station; I had called him an hour or two before asking if he could pick me up the next morning because I wanted to change my bus ticket to 1030pm instead of 5pm. No dice.)

To EH: Yes! I'm with chris. The coolest seventeen yr old ever! Too young? ;)

To JH (in response to "Who is Chris?"): Idk but he's my new bff. Will call. Have to turn phone off bc battery dying.

To EH: Lol. I woke up at a gas station with chris in the seat across the aisle. Fuck I have to pee. You drunker yet? I can't believe antonio and the bathroom?! WTF?!

To EH: PS I drunk dialed XX and he answered. Clearly he is in love with me.

To EH: I think I'm hungover, too. I need pretzels! Where is timo when you need him?

To JW: It was legendary! I am drunk on the bus! I love you! Next year we're going! It's the best nye ever!

To EH: I'm about to pee in the bus bathroom. Wish me luck! I would cut a bitch for some dominos.

To LR: L. I got so drunk in the daytime! You would've been proud. Just getting to bus station. Ugh. Gotta drive home soon. Party foul. Hope you had a good new year's!

To EH: E! WTF was that voicemail? Amazing! I am so hungover!

To EH: Just got back. Literally slept the whole way. I want to do it again! Our lives rule!

To JH: We're here. If you see pizza on the way, i'm gonna need it.

To EH: Also I think i listened to back to december no less than 112 times.

To EH & Twitter: There is a nearly full bag of cheetos laying on the sidewalk. It's taking more self control than you know not to eat them.

You're welcome. I am happy to sacrifice my dignity if it will entertain you even a tiny bit.

HAPPY 2011!! Gonna be a fantastic year!

2010-11-20T15:28:00.004-05:00

Damn, I'm being so lazy today. I have no idea what time I went to bed, but I woke up sometime around 11am. I made my way home, threw in a load of clothes, ate some cereal, researched Fantasy Football for an hour, took a nap, and here I am.

I need to go put those clothes in the dryer/on the drying rack. (Aside: Can I just say how much I fucking HATE doing this? I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate this task. It takes FOR-EV-ER. Mostly because I am neurotic about my clothes and have this belief that the fabric & color lasts longer if you don't put them in the dryer - even stuff that says go in the dryer - so I end up only tossing mainly underwear and socks in the dryer and trying to find a place to air dry everything else. Such a fucking pain in my ass.)

I need to clean the bathroom.

I need to walk the dog.

I need to sweep.

I need to clean the kitchen.

I need to sort through the giant stack of mail on my table, on the counter, in the mailbox....

But here I am. Writing this blog entry. Yoga Pose of the Week didn't fare as well as I intended, but I'm not giving up. I'm still yoga-ing and my friends gave me a badass Astanga book I can't wait to dig into. Hopefully I'll have the inspiration and time to share some of it on the blog.

Oh, the blog. Pretty sure no one reads it anymore, and that's fine and understandable. I am sporadic about reading everyone else's, too. I don't want to give up on it, though, so that's why I'm writing this post. It's been awhile since I've posted anything beyond yoga, food, hot celebrity stuff. Don't get me wrong, those things are well and good, but there is so much more to my life, too. A lot of it I can't/don't want to write here, for privacy's sake, for embarrassment's sake, for a hundred twenty-seven other reasons. But the other day I thought of something that I normally wouldn't share on the blog, but the takeaway point was pretty important to me, so fuck it. I'm going to write it.

Over the past several weeks, I have been hanging out with a Boy. A few people know about him, but mainly I keep my relationships under wraps until I know how substantial they are going to be. I've dated enough to know myself and the men I date - these things can be fleeting. But this thing with Boy seems different. Well, sort of. We have a lot of fun together, we have excellent chemistry, we seem to think the same about life. . .and on it goes. I will confess. I am developing more than a crush on him.

And because of my past experiences, of course once I realized this possibility beyond a crush, I freaked the fuck out. Number One because I don't want to get hurt. Number Two because Boy has an expiration date; there is almost no way it will last "forever" and I don't want to get hurt (I won't go into detail here; just trust me on this). I spent a couple of days brooding, determined I should just end things now, before I get in too deep, before it leaves a wound that will scar instead of just a paper cut.

Ordinarily I live my life the opposite way - living in the moment, dealing with consequences later. It is better to have loved and lost. . .blah blah blah. . .never say no to an adventure. . .you know me. You get the point. There was just something about this, something that made me balk at the possibility of hurt. It has been a rough few years for me, broken heart-wise, and I just wasn't sure I could face another one.

Then I realized something I've been learning with yogic philosophy and Buddhism: Nothing is forever. No thing. No one. No relationship. Some last longer than others, but everything lives and then dies. We have no way of knowing how long anything will last. Even if Boy had the potential for "forever," anything could take him or me away at any moment.

That's when I took my head out of my ass and decided to embrace it head on. Get back to my roots and live in the moment. Appreciate every. single. second. of happiness. Life is an ebb and flow, an up and down. Every day, even, has its moments of good and bad, a progression of moods. Why deny myself these delicious times with a great person just because he won't always be there? It was silly to even consider it.

So here I am. Lazy on a Saturday because we stayed up too late last night laughing and drinking and watching funny things on TV. And I don't care about the laundry, the dirty kitchen, the mail. These things will get done because they must. For a moment, for a few hours, I will soak in the happiness and just be.

Yoga Pose of the Week: Balasana/Child's Pose

2010-10-03T22:11:00.002-04:00

Balasana/Child's Pose

Today has been rainy and relaxing. When I was walking the dog, I started thinking about this week's yoga pose. I literally almost did "naptime pose" because it's just that kind of Sunday. In that spirit, I give you child's pose - best known as a resting pose in both yoga and Pilates. Literally, there are days I come home from work and my body is craving child's pose. I think I cannot possibly work out or walk the dog or make dinner, but after doing balasana for a few minutes, I'm rejuvenated. Several instructors I've had also start off class in this pose because it helps prepare the mind and body for the practice to come.

This is how I go into child's pose, and there's a cheesy video at the end to show you another variation (complete with shirtless man. You're welcome!).

1) Get in table top position - on your hands and knees, flat back.

2) Spread your knees wide and let your toes touch.

3) Press your hands into the mat as you push your butt and hips onto your heels. If you aren't that flexible, try putting a block or blanket on your thighs and calves. Rest your head on the ground.

4) Either bring your hands palm facing upward by your hips or remain in extended child's pose with your palms pressing into the mat, arms extended. If taking the latter variation, remember not to let your shoulders crunch into your ears but remain down your back.

According to Yoga Journal, this pose should NOT be practiced by pregnant women. Also, be careful of knee injuries; if it hurts your knees don't do it. For what it's worth, I have issues with my knees, but I've found this pose actually stretches them out and makes them feel better. But those are my issues, my knees, and the pose doesn't hurt. If it hurts, stop!

Otherwise, you can enjoy these benefits from the pose (taken from Yoga Journal):
* Stretches hips, thighs, ankles

* Calms the mind, relieves stress

* Relieves neck and back pain when doing the supported version

Almost anyone can do this pose, so I encourage you to try it and feel the calming effects for yourself!

Namaste

Yoga Pose of the Week: Padahastasana

2010-09-28T22:23:00.003-04:00

Padahastasana, or Hand to Foot Pose

This is my favorite variation on a forward fold. Forward folds in general have a calming, re-focusing effect on the body and are great to do right after last week's YPW - Handstand. I like this version for a few reasons. 1) It gives me a nice stretch on my shoulders while also stretching the hamstrings and low back. 2) It's fun to say! (Pronounced - PAH-duh-ha-STAH-san-uh, Pada = foot, hasta = hand, thus hand to foot pose)

Here's a video which demonstrates the proper alignment and steps to the pose. It's pretty simple.

Some thoughts from my own practice:

* Keep your low back straight. If you cannot come all the way to the floor with straight legs, just bend your legs. You will increase your flexibility more and better by being mindful of your body rather than rushing just to the floor.

* Don't let your shoulders get scrunched into your ears. Envision them sliding down your back to get the best benefit from this pose.

* This pose has a slight balancing aspect. It's good to try to put more weight on the hands than the heels, which can be a little scary. I *may* have almost fallen over trying to do this, so be careful! But don't worry, as one of my yoga teachers used to say, you have a roll bar if you do fall. :)

* Check out these couple of pages for the numerous benefits of this posture, which include increasing blood flow to the head, alleviation of bloating or constipation, toning of the abdominal muscles, and increasing spinal flexibility.

Namaste

Yoga Pose of the Week: Handstand

2010-09-19T13:10:00.007-04:00

In my effort to return to semi-regular blogging, I'm going to attempt to feature a yoga pose every Sunday. I know some of you would rather eat pigs' feet than try yoga, but one of my new goals in life is to get my yoga teacher certification so I can convince even more people that yoga is awesome. In that vein, I'm going to share some of my 7+ years of yoga love with you.

Adho Mukha Vrksasana/Handstand (click it to learn how to pronounce)

Handstand is probably one of my top five favorite poses even though I have not "mastered" it, and that's one of the reasons I chose it as my first pose to feature on the blog. It shows that yoga can be fun and fulfilling regardless of where you are in a pose. It isn't about being flexible or making a perfect triangle. It's about trying the movements and feeling the benefits in your body and mind. With that said, let's get to handstand.

The Benefits:
Handstand is excellent for waking you up and giving you productive energy. Most of ya'll know I'm hyper sensitive to caffeine, so I rarely drink coffee. It kind of makes me feel cracked out - I am awake, but I feel so spazzy I can't focus. Instead, I get my energy boost by doing handstand in the morning. I have noticed that when I do handstand, I get more accomplished, and with a better attitude, than days I do not. My co-worker and I have also been known to do them around 3pm in one of our offices instead of hitting the M&Ms. It makes us laugh, too, which is also an awesome stress reliever.

Many yogis also believe inversions help with circulation and give internal organs a rest. Handstand also gives the physical benefit of strengthening wrists, arms, and shoulders.

What you need:
* A wall (eventually you can do it without the wall, but I'm still working on that)
* Open space
* Courage

What you DON'T need:
* A skirt w/o bloomers
* A yoga mat - if you have one, great, otherwise a stable, non-slick surface is fine; I have used regular carpet, commercial carpet, hardwood floors, almost anything.
* Fear - A certain amount of anxiety is completely normal with this pose. Check out this excellent article from Yoga Journal to help fight the fear. As an added benefit, doing handstand can also increase our ability to overcome fears outside the yoga mat.

Notes of caution:
Use your common sense. If your wrists are hurt or you are having problems with your arms, don't try this pose.

If you have high blood pressure or if you are menstruating, some yogis caution against doing any inversions whatsoever.

But don't trust me. If you have any misgivings, do NOT do the pose without consulting a doctor.

How to do it:
Here's the method I use (taught to me at my favorite yoga studio):

1. Place your hands about 1 hand length away from the wall.

2. Go into downward dog.

3. Slowly walk your legs forward about 1/2 to 2/3 of the way to your hands.

4. Engage your abs. (Practice building your abdominal strength with plank poses. A lot of handstand is in the abs.)

5. Look toward the wall. (This is very important. Your body follows your eyes.)

6. Bend one leg and kick up to the wall with the other. Let your bottom leg follow. (See the video below on not bicycling the legs. One leg will be easier than the other. I always bend my right and kick up with the left. When I do it the other way, it's a disaster, so I should probably work on that, but I don't.)

7. Once you're upside down, press your hands into the floor and use your back, shoulders, and abs to keep you up. Eventually you want your body to be in one straight line (again, I'm still working on this).

8. Come back down. (I usually do the pose 2-3 times, holding for as long as I can, which isn't very long because I'm working on keeping my feet away from the wall. If I were just staying on the wall, I would probably hold it longer and only do it once.)

9. Rest in child's pose or standing forward fold.

It definitely helps to watch someone. Here is a video from yoga journal that shows a way very similar to the one I just described:

If you still can't quite make it up to the wall, or if you want to know more about improving your handstand, I urge you to not only read this awesome Yoga Journal article but also go to a yoga studio!

Be careful and have fun!

Namaste

The Tomato Sandwich. Reinvented.

2010-09-16T13:55:00.002-04:00

A southern staple food, at least in my house, is the tomato sandwich. Two pieces of bread, one giant slice of tomato, a little salt and pepper, and mayonnaise, and you've got lunch perfection. Except one thing. I have always, always hated mayonnaise. To this day my father will ask me whether I want mayonnaise, and to this day my reply is, "Have I ever wanted mayonnaise?"

I do acknowledge there needs to be a little bit of lubrication on the tomato sandwich, so for the most part I add mustard, the best condiment in the universe. The only issue some people have with mustard is that it adds an entirely new flavor, a new dimension to the simple flavors of the more traditional tomato sandwich. I agree, even though in my book, mustard can never do wrong.

But let me get to the point. Ladies and gentlemen, over the past two days I have perfected the mayonnaise-less tomato sandwich and enjoyed a perfect at-home lunch. Here you go:

1. I start by toasting some bread, whatever kind you love.

2. Then I spread some hummus on both sides. I like a lot of hummus. Maybe you like a little or just a medium amount. Whatever floats your boat.

3. Put the tomato slice(s) onto the hummus.

4. Drizzle some olive oil on the tomato.

5. Sprinkle some salt and pepper.

Voila! Bon Appetit!

(If this were a real food blog I'd show you a picture of the delicious sandwich. But it's not. So use your imagination.)

Black Bean Hummus...MMMM.

2010-09-12T12:27:00.004-04:00

Last night my friend had a small get-together to celebrate the return of football season. As the sole non-carnivore, I promised I would bring some delicious vegetarian edibles for others to enjoy. Shortly thereafter I began to think, "What the hell am I going to bring? I don't know what other people are gonna like!"

Luckily, we have the internet, and a tasty recipe is no more than a Google search away. "Vegan football food" led me to quite a few interesting ideas, but a lot of them had "weird" ingredients that people might balk at or stuff that I didn't think I could find around here. (I did, however, find an AWESOME looking "Tempeh Hot Wings" recipe that I'm dying to try. But that post is for another day.)

In the end I settled on making this "Speedy Vegetarian Mexican Lasagna," which I've made before and meat-eaters and vegs alike enjoyed. (NOTE: To make it more speedy, just use salsa instead of trying to put together all those first ingredients. I always add whatever spices I have on hand, but for me it's cheaper and faster to start off with salsa.) Yes, it has dairy, but I figured I'd better start slow with normal people because sometimes even the word "vegetarian" causes panic, and I didn't want to start a riot with the word "vegan."

For my other dish, I found this Black Bean Hummus recipe that looked pretty easy, and for which I already had most of the ingredients. The only one I thought I'd have trouble with was soy yogurt, which, lo and behold, is unavailable in BFE. Shocking. Instead, I substituted 0% fat, plain Fage Greek yogurt.

O.M.G.

Y'all.

This dip was awesome. It was an even bigger hit than the Mexican lasagna (which, to be honest, suffered from having to sit around for over an hour while we waited on other people, other food, etc.). Because the recipe makes a pretty good amount, I had leftovers to bring home. When I woke up this morning, I beelined it for the fridge and to my surprise it is even more delicious after the ingredients have a chance to meld and chill together.

I think next time I'll try it without the yogurt, to see if I can find a suitable "vegan" version, but for you guys not bothered by that constraint, this yogurt version is DE.LI.SHUS. Make it now!

Hotness

2010-05-15T01:05:00.000-04:00

I thought I couldn't love Jakey G anymore.

I was wrong.

Seriously. Why couldn't I be at that party dancing silly with him? Bitches.

Mmmm. Brownies.

2010-04-25T15:40:00.000-04:00

I just made these, and oh my god, right out of the oven. . .I know I haven't had sex in awhile but still, orgasmic doesn't seem like a big stretch. My first attempt at vegan baking is awe. some.

Ingredients

2 c unbleached all-purpose flour
2 c white sugar
3/4 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup water
1/4 c vegetable oil (I used Smart Balance Omega)
3/4 c applesauce
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 bag Ghiradelli semi-sweet chocolate chips (or a whole bag. whatever. Ghiradelli is vegan, Nestle is not.)

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
In a large bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt. Pour in water, vegetable oil, applesauce and vanilla; mix until well blended.
Stir in chocolate chips. Spread evenly in a 9x13 inch baking pan.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes in the preheated oven, until the top is no longer shiny. Let cool for at least 10 minutes before cutting into squares. (NOTE: I had to cook mine probably 35-40 mins for the center to be done.)

I adapted this recipe from this one at all recipes. Taking it into work tomorrow for a belated Administrative Professionals' Day thank you gift. That will be the true test, but so far, so delicious. Make these. NOW.

Quick, Delicious Brunch

2010-04-24T12:03:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke up early (7am = early for me), went to 50 minutes of spinning followed by 75 minutes of yoga. After that I had to run by the store to pick up a few things, then home to shower off the workouts. By the time I was clean and ready to cook, it was about 11:15, and I was starving.

For the past few weeks I've been semi-vegan. Very little dairy (except as may appear in chocolates or other delicious treats), no meat (obviously), and no eggs (just for the hell of it). Because I like to bake, and eat baked goods, and I haven't mastered any vegan recipes, I bought eggs yesterday because I volunteered to make cookies for an SPCA fundraiser. Since I had the eggs, I was seriously craving them for breakfast.

I dug around in my fridge and pantry to find some new and some almost-expired ingredients to create an off-the-cuff but fucking fantastic brunch. It's a lot of food, but I was a hungry girl, and it was delish. To commemorate my momentary culinary genius, I'm posting the very simple recipes in case anyone is ever starving, and wants a relatively nutritious, pretty quick, and absolutely yummy and filling brunch.

Sauteed Potatoes
I had a red potato lying around that needed to be used before it went bad. I chopped it up and made my own version of "home fries."

1. Heat small amount of oil in pan.

2. Throw in chopped potato. Sprinkle with salt, pepper, ground cumin. (Cumin is my current favorite spice. I love it, put it on almost everything.)

3. Sautee/pan fry until delicious. (I cut my potatoes almost bite sized so they cook faster.)

I cooked these until they were almost done, then pushed them aside to make the next part of my brunch. I don't like cleaning up, so I use as few dishes as possible.

Spinach & Mozzarella Eggs
Mix together 1 egg + 2 egg whites (= 3 total eggs used), a little salt & pepper in a bowl. This is my preferred method of eating eggs. To me, it maximizes protein, taste and portion size without as much cholesterol.

1. Throw some baby spinach (I use pre-bagged) on the hot oil. Sautee until almost done.

2. Pour the egg mixture on top of the spinach. Mix it all up. (If you're using the same pan as the potatoes, make sure you tilt the pan a little when you put the egg in or it will all get scrambled together. All scrambled together isn't necessarily a bad thing, in fact it's probably delicious, but it wasn't what I was going for this morning.)

3. Scramble eggs & spinach until done.

4. Throw some shredded mozzarella on top of egg & spinach, mix it up if you want. Remove from heat when cheese melts. (*I used mozzarella because it was almost expired, bought before I tried to cut cheese out of my diet. Cheddar or monterey jack or whatever kind of cheese you love is also probably perfect.)

If you've timed it right, everything should be done at once.

Serve with 2 pieces of toast. I am in love with Genesis bread. I topped one of my toast pieces with Marmite, because I like to pretend I'm British. Also, it tastes awesome. :)

Serve with whatever your favorite breakfast beverage. This morning I drank water. Juice, tea, mimosa, and bloody mary also highly recommended.

Bon Appetit!

SXSW: Tacos, Beer, & Cupcakes. Oh, is there music here, too?

2010-04-03T21:18:00.000-04:00

It's been a couple weeks since I got back from SXSW. Epic - the only word to even come close to describing it. Since I suck and forgot to pack a travel journal, my tweets from the trip will have to do. Instead of trying to write it all out narrative-like, I present to you the timeline of my tweets below. They don't do the trip justice, but it's all I've got to commemorate it. (Additional commentary follows)

No one cares, but I'm like a kid on Christmas Eve today. My insides are jumping up & down. Leave for SXSW tomorrow. I heart my life! 11:13 AM Mar 16th via web

Holy shit. This SXSW stuff is overwhelming. Will never, ever see it all. Must have strategy meeting tonight. 4:47 PM Mar 16th via web

I give up. Scheduling SXSW is impossible. Just going to let it happen. Now I'm going to drink w/friends before leaving. Then pack. Obvs. :) 9:05 PM Mar 16th via web (Typical Niki form: I stayed up til like 1-1:30am, didn't pack until the next morning. I think I have mad-rush packing down to an artform. About 30 mins flat and I'm good to go.)

St. Pat's day, 70s and gorgeous, on my way to Austin and Federer lost last night. I love my life! 2:10 PM Mar 17th via txt

Fuck yes. Irish pub in layover airport playing rafa! 6:12 PM Mar 17th via txt (Seriously. I was beside myself with glee. Found a seat a table right near the match. Crazy dude playing a keyboard? guitar? something. Was a bustling little Irish pub. Oh, and an $8 Harp. WTF? It wasn't even green. I didn't care. It was a perfect moment. Another perfect moment: most beautiful, vibrant sunset from the airplane. It was almost a perfect color spectrum. Glorious.)

Isner looks like he's wearing Umbros circa 1991. 6:32 PM Mar 17th via txt (Rafa was playing John Isner, North Carolina native, UGA alum and tennis champ. His shorts totally looked like the Umbros we wore in 6th grade, you know, black with white piping. Hee. I realize I probably should've been cheering for the hometown boy, but ya'll know Rafa is my boo.)

Goddamn. Sensory mother fuckin overload. Austin is like Athens on steroids right now. 1:59 AM Mar 18th via txt (Seriously. It was CRAY-Z. Hipsters everywhere. Bars all over the place. St. Patrick's Day made SXSW blow the fuck up. Was awesome, awesome people watching like I haven't seen since last Halloween at West Palm Beach's Moonfest.)

I heart breakfast tacos! Do not heart saddle creek and merge records doing showcases at same time at diff venues. Austin rocks. 12:46 PM Mar 18th via txt

Mini golf while drinking. Austin just keeps getting better. 1:30 PM Mar 18th via txt (For real. More places should have mini-golf where you can bring your own beer. So. Much. Fun. I got sunburned, but whatevs. Also, my terrible streak at mini-golf continues. I suck. Hard.)

Sugar Mama's cupcakes in Austin, TX. Highly recommend. My butt will be Texas-sized by the time I leave here. 4:40 PM Mar 18th via txt (Mmmm. Mouth watering for that cupcake right now. Damn it. Was some sort of Oreo, chocolate, cream cheese concoction. Shawn had carrot cake. The icing. . .to.die.for.)

Heading out sans cell phone bc don't want to lug purse. Slightly scary. Sad. Good times ahead though. 7:09 PM Mar 18th via txt (We went to the "free" show at Austin Auditorium Shores first. Saw Bajafango followed by Ozomatli. I'd seen Ozo about 10 yrs ago at Glastonbury, in the UK. They rocked and I've been wanting to see them again ever since. They rocked again at SXSW. We then tried to go to Merge party to see She & Him. Line was crazy, plus only letting in "official" SXSW badges. I didn't have one of those - they cost like $500+. Then tried to go to Saddle Creek showcase, the record label Conor founded. No line but only "official" badges. Boo! We decided to head back to the car, but I refused to give up on the night. Because of my positive attitude, we lucked up and the restaurant/bar near where we'd parked - several blocks away from the "main" action - had an awesome show with Bob Schneider, an Austin favorite. So much fun. So. much. fun.)

FYI: it is entirely possible to live off tacos, beer, and cupcakes. Life. Is. Good. 2:14 AM Mar 19th via txt

Free drinks at free concert. Goodbye sobriety, hello bloody mary! 1:55 PM Mar 19th via txt
(Note the time: 1:55PM, barely after the morning. I think I'd already had one at this point. Turns out only my first bloody mary was free, but 16oz Lone Stars were free. We were at the Birmingham show to see Taylor Hollingsworth, one of the Mystic Valley Band that plays with Conor. Taylor is from Birmingham, Alabama. He tried to eat lunch with me outside on the patio, but his brother tried to sit in my friend's seat while my friend was on beer run. Tried to get them a different chair, but they switched tables. :( Later on introduced myself to Taylor and got a picture which is now my phone wallpaper. Such a sweetie. Also played a good set!)

Lol. Drunk at three o'clock. Did i mention i love my life? 4:20 PM Mar 19th via txt

I love boys. 5:46 PM Mar 19th via txt (Absolutely NO recollection of this tweet. None. No idea what it refers to, but suffice it to say, that's pretty much 100% Niki no matter what.)

(Sometime in between the previous tweet and the next tweet I began drunk dialing almost everyone I know. At least, that's what I found out later on, the next morning, and over the next few days as people started telling me about our conversations. Yeah. NO recollection. ZERO.)

Fuck this vegetarian shit. That dog's bbq looked awesome! Sxsw is so. Much. Fun! 8:55 PM Mar 19th txt via (No recollection of this either.)

Omg. Bbq is delicious. 9:30 PM Mar 19th via txt (Yeah. Ya'll read that right. I ate some fucking BBQ. In my defense, a) Had been drinking since 1:30ish, b) Had not eaten, c) Could not find anything else to eat, d) Was super drunk, e) It's mother-fuckin' Texas. I had to experience the local "culture," right? Will not tell you how many times I made Shawn go buy us a sandwich to split, but uh, yeah, it was more than one. Per Tempe, I apparently called her after this and said it was "life-changing" BBQ.)

Just found out rafa and marc in dubs finals and rada in semis today. Can't watch or otherwise follow. Vamos! 3:03 PM Mar 20th via txt (Yeah. I'm having the time of my life and still force my friend to let me check the tennis scores on his computer. Whatever. Rafa ended up winning doubles title and losing in the semi-finals of that tournament. Important stuff, you guys.)

I am the anti- hipster. Pink shirt, girlie t, blonde hair. 3:16 PM Mar 20th via txt (Sweet Jesus. Hipters HATE mother fuckin' color. They must be allergic to any fabric that isn't black.)

40 Watt free party rocks.Athens music is the best. Listen to Futurebirds! 4:11 PM Mar 20th via txt (Futurebirds is a really good band. Check them out. Band I saw before them was also really good. No recollection of their names, but the bloody mary I had while watching them also stellar.)

Venice is Sinking. Best band so far. Check them out! 5:22 PM Mar 20th via txt (Love, love, love Venice is Sinking. Go to a show if you're in Athens! BTW, I've listened to a little bit of them on the internet and let me say this: it's good, but live is far, far better. Trust.)

Just saw bathroom graffiti that said 'miri is hotter than smoking.' @nadalnews 7:24 PM Mar 20th via txt (Was at The Broken Spoke. They have filmed part of Friday Night Lights the TV show there. Met a cowboy. Borrowed his hat for a photo. Another awesome day. Oh, and Miri is the name used by the creator of Nadal News, so that's why I was tweeting her. On another note, she lives in Austin, ergo, could've been about her :)

Thank goddess i don't live in texas. The mexican food is killing me. Must've gained ten pounds in 3 days. 8:18 PM Mar 20th via txt (Mexican food really did change my life. I'm addicted.)

(Saw She & Him this night. Was fucking cold. Didn't care. M. Ward & Zooey Deschanel were awesome, awesome. God, I love them. Buy their cd. Now. You'll thank me later.)

I'm a little too excited about the o.g. Whole foods. 5:17 PM Mar 21st via txt ($5 organic avocados. W.T.F? But seriously, it was heaven. *sigh* I miss having a Whole Foods in my life.)

At something called chicken shit bingo. Um...i love my life? 8:33 PM Mar 21st via txt (Shawn forced me to go to chicken shit bingo. In my mind it was this godawful, unsanitary hell on earth. Like the bingo scene in My Girl - a room full of long rows of tables - with chickens running around pooping on slightly-bigger-than average bingo cards, and lots of rednecks looking at us like we didn't belong. In reality, was a dive bar with a chicken coop on top of a board on top of the pool table. Numbers in a grid on the board. You buy a numbered ticket. They put the chicken in. You + hipsters + locals watch and wait to see if chicken poops on your number. If so, you win $100! Also, there is a band and people dance.)

Apparently it can take this chicken up to 1hr 45mins to poop on a number and declare a winner. I'm gonna need another beer. 9:30 PM Mar 21st via txt
(Umm. . .had WAAAY more than just another beer. We did not win despite having #38 and also the line. Still tons of fun.)

Best night ever. Met a guy who could flip me while dancing. We might get married. Heh. 1:08 AM Mar 22nd via txt
(If you haven't been flipped while swing dancing, you haven't lived. That's all I'll say about that. Oh, and he really did propose to me. :)

Migas tacos are my new fave food. Great ending to a great SXSW. Thanks, Austin. Definitely coming back! 10:41 AM Mar 22nd via txt

Hartsfield, I got nothin but love for you but would it be too much to ask for some people movers if you have to run from north to south ... 4:40 PM Mar 22nd via txt
(Dude. I had like 30mins to get from one end of the terminal to the exact opposite end. . .lugging my giant backpack. Was not fun, but I made it. Thanks plane being delayed!)

@nadalnews Just got your tweets from when I was in TX. Have ghetto phone. Was totally going to do Hey Cupcake compare but not enough time! about 3 hours ago via web in reply to nadalnews
(Hey Cupcake is another cupcake institution in Austin. Apparently they have a rivalry w/Sugar Mama's and I'd been told to try them both, do taste test for myself. And obviously this was not 3 hrs ago. This was some point on Tuesday when I FINALLY trudged into the office. Thanks sinus infection. See below.)

Brought home wicked sinus infection/cold from SXSW. Just got to work. Suffice it to say I'd rather be in Austin. about 3 hours ago via web (Yeah, soooo. . .this was around 2:22PM Mar 22)

@julesdc It's already on my calendar next yr. Mark yours. We'll make it a date! about 3 hours ago via web in reply to julesdc
(Definitely going next year. SXSW is the best. The. Best.)

@nadalnews And yes, it was totally Peter Pan. That place alone is enough to make me want to move to Austin! Good times. Am envious of you! about 3 hours ago via web in reply to nadalnews
(Peter Pan = mini golf place w/scary cartoon character statutes and BYOB policy. Oh, and I'm totally moving to Austin. In. Love.)

@julesdc Chose Merge, but long-ass line + needed "official" badge. Went to Saddle Creek, also needed badge. Ended up at random free fun show about 3 hours ago via web in reply to julesdc
(This is incorrect. Wasn't free, was $22, but was still really, really fun. But which show wasn't? They were all fun.)

@nadalnews So true-grass is always greener. My Peter Pan experience was followed by tacos & cupcake-best beginning to SXSW ever! about 3 hours ago via web in reply to nadalnews
(Seriously. Drunk mini-golf + tacos + cupcakes - and that was only the beginning. Never went downhill after that. One of the best experiences of my life. I love my friend Shawn for putting up with me. I love Austin for being so quirky and fantastic. I love Texas for being so close to Mexico. I love bands for rocking out. SXSW - Just do it.)

"Thieves"

2010-03-24T20:20:00.002-04:00

Calvin Klein...THANK YOU.

2010-03-08T03:52:00.001-05:00

Possibly NSFW, but very, very safe for the bedroom. Or kitchen. Or wherever you have a moment alone.

That would be tennis hottie, Fernando Verdasco (who isn't as hot as Rafa, but is Spanish so I'll take it), Mehcad Brooks (from True Blood and other stuff I haven't seen), Kellan Lutz (from Twilight, and the new 90210), and Hidetoshi Nakata (former Japanese soccer player.

no.words.

2010-02-27T12:35:00.001-05:00

Yeah, I totally dropped the ball on the Olympics. Whoops. Let's not dwell on that, shall we? (Hope to do semi-recap post this weekend, so fret not. Like any of you are out there fretting besides spam commenters, but whatevs.)

Let's enjoy Shakira's new video for "Gypsy" starring my boyfriend, Rafa, looking hotter-than-anyone-ever-in-the-entire-universe-oh-my-god-i-need-a-cold-shower.

This blog pretty well sums it up.

Shakira, you are my hero. (PS Glad you got the memo that my favorite outfit of all time on any man is t-shirt in jeans and/or no shirt and jeans. Again...HERO.)

Olympics 2010: Day 2

2010-02-14T19:39:00.001-05:00

When I did the last post, I didn't know about the luge accident. My heart is heavy with sadness and I feel so badly for his family.

I also didn't know about the torch screw up, which makes me kind of giggle.

Watching some figure skating pairs at the moment, about to eat some pizza with friends. Good times!

Congrats to my secondary boyfriend, Apolo Ohno, on his silver in the 1500m race and Hanna Kearney is adorable. Adorable.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. As I type this Team USA is ahead with 5 total medals in the medal count. Yeah, I'm sure this won't last, but it's fun for now!

Olympics 2010: Day 1?

2010-02-13T19:21:00.000-05:00

I didn't get to see the Opening Ceremony last night, and I'm too lazy to look it up right now, but I'm pretty sure competition didn't get underway in Vancouver until today.

So far all I've watched was the Men's 5000m skating competition. It went like this: Woke up from nap dazed and confused. Skating seemed pretty boring since it lasted 6+ mins and only two skaters raced at a time, but nonetheless I sat there, nearly comatose watching because honestly, I was so hungover I couldn't do anything else.

Then all of a sudden it got interesting, and I actually got into it. Shani Davis, a black speed skater for Team USA is totally hot. Korean dude Seung-Hoon Lee was also pretty good looking. Then there's Netherlands' speed skating Michael Phelps - Sven Kramer (pronounced KRAH-mer not KRAY-mer, weird) who is absolutely adorable (photogenic, no, but on camera he was pretty cute, especially when he won and climbed the bleachers to his family and girlfriend).

But let's talk about the outfits, shall we? Who the hell designed those monstrosities? It looks like a spring wet suit with tights and long sleeves underneath. And they all. look. the same. Speed skating body condom fail. Check it out here b/c again, too lazy to copy and post pics myself.

Sports Addict

2010-01-28T23:13:00.001-05:00

I've been pretty bummed this week. For starters, the Minnesota Vikings lost in sort of a heartbreaker on Sunday night. I mean, they kind of deserved to lose since they played hot potato instead of football, but still. I wanted it for Favre. I wanted it for rookie and ex-Gator Percy Harvin. It just wasn't meant to be.

But I was willing to put that behind me because Rafael Nadal was pretty much cruising in the first week of the Australian Open. There were some tense moments, but overall, his play was very close to his pre-stupid-fucking-knee-injury form. Then came Monday night. I went to sleep around 10-10:30pm and woke up at 3:45am to watch his match live from Australia. He was playing Andy Murray in the quarterfinals of the Australian Open, and if it hadn't been a Grand Slam event or had been a less impressive player, I probably would've just slept, like I had every other late-night match. But I was "living in the moment" and decided to do it.

Well, this is what happened. I watched the first set which was intense and really fucking close and Rafa lost. By that time I was feeling slightly nauseous due to sleep situation and also the match. So I dozed a little, woke up midway through second set to watch Rafa lose it again. And even though I know never to give up on Rafa, because he is nothing if not a fighter, it seemed like Andy was playing better overall and it was a done deal. Plus, I was SO.TIR-ED. I closed my computer around 5am and went to dreamland.

Well, more like nightmare land. I dreamed that he had to "retire." This is what they call it when a player must forfeit the remainder of a match because of injury. I woke up relieved that it had been a dream. Then I got to work, checked the score, and lo and behold the stupid-fucking-knee injury was back. He HAD retired, just 3 games into the third set. My stomach sank. Will he ever recover? Will he ever be that same player that won the epic Wimbledon final in 2008?

So I've been bummed. I know it's silly, but I can't help it. I've been waiting for him to make the "comeback," to show everyone that he's still got game, and now he's *this* close, and the knee just won't cooperate. And he's so darn disappointed.

I has a sad, too, Rafa. Let's hug it out. (via Nadal News photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images)

So now football season is almost over, the Gators lost the SEC Championship, the Vikings lost the NFC Championship, and my boyfriend can't even finish his quarterfinal match at the Australian Open and will be out for who knows how long. WTF am I supposed to do for sports now? (Because clearly, going without sports is worse than going without food & water.) Tennis is on at random times. Haven't loved basketball since high school-ish. Hockey? Soccer? No clue.

That's when I remembered Winter Olympics! Vancouver 2010 begins in 14 days. Holla! Am hoping to do a daily "recap" or "commentary" or "WTF" or "Did you see ?!" like I did for the 2008 games. . .we'll see how it goes. To get you all as amped as I am for said Olympics, I give you the fabulous Johnny Weir, performing to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face." Love. It.

My New Happy Video?

2010-01-18T11:33:00.000-05:00

My 2009 "Happy Video of the Year" was "I'm On A Boat."

2010 has only just begun, but I am already near tears after watching (and let's be honest, re-watching) this pure awesomeness from American Idol.

But Andy, don't worry. You're still my boo. General Larry got nothin' on you.

The Truth of the Matter

2010-01-02T11:00:00.002-05:00

Every break-up or ending has that moment. That moment you know in your heart and bones that s/he's not coming back, that you're not going back, that it will not be fixed, that it truly is over. Sometimes you don't even realize you've been holding on to the tiniest of tiny hopes; sometimes you have outwardly longed and prayed for a reversal of events. Either way, the time always comes - sooner or later, but always - when you know.

I think the pscyhologists call it "acceptance" or similar. I call it "reality-smacks-you-in-the-fucking-face-and-forces-you-to-wake-the-fuck-up."

It seems strange, because it feels like a brick in your stomach, but in actuality, you've been waiting for this moment, the final grieving. When you can let go and honestly live again. When you can stop looking backward or forward and be present in the now.

It doesn't mean you will no longer think of the person/place/thing or even that you will never be sad again. But you are now on the way toward true healing because you are viewing the situation as it is, not as you hope or wish it to be. The truth of the matter.

So today, I am sad but also happy because this part is almost over. . .and I'm this close to being me again.

UPDATE: My Deepak Chopra Quote of the Day from Twitter is very apropos. "Today I will commit myself to detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are." Deepak Chopra

Holy. Shit.

2009-12-26T23:42:00.005-05:00

Urban Meyer stepped down as Florida's head football coach.

Shocked. Stunned. Scared.

As GatorBenPBP said on Twitter: "From Tebow's concussion to Spikes' eye-gouging to Dunlap's DUI to now Urban stepping down, this has been the strangest football season ever."

So much word.

And next year is gonna...Suuuuhhh-uck.

Props to Meyer for putting health and family before football, though.

Girl's Best Friend (aka Pathetic Singleton Life)

2009-12-16T00:23:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure when this happened, but what used to be a once-in-awhile occurrence is now an every night given: Masala sleeps in my bed with me. Then, when my alarm goes off in the morning, he noses his face into mine, wags his tail, then lays his head on arm/stomach/leg to wait for me to hit the snooze button.

Eventually I open my eyes, and he's immediately up in my grill again, as if he's been waiting for this moment ALL. NIGHT. LONG. and he rolls on his back so I can rub his belly and scratch his stomach. It's really very sweet, and the morning snuggles with my pup help get my day off to a good start before I emerge from the covers into the cold, evil reality of a December morning.

Then tonight I noticed another thing that has become our routine. Whenever I eat, he almost never begs anymore. Instead, he lays down next to me, waits for me to finish, and then I hand him my plate so he can lick it clean. Again, this is very sweet, but holy shit, it dawned on me that my dog and I act like an OLD MARRIED COUPLE.

If gay marriage is barely legal in the United States, I'm fairly certain cross-species marriage is way, way down on the list. Damn it. Maybe finding a husband should be on my to-do list after all.

Werewolves Rock

2009-12-13T21:20:00.002-05:00

I awake from my unintentional blogging winter hibernation to bring you this, a pretty cute Saturday Night Live skit featuring New Moon hottie Taylor Lautner:

I miss...

2009-11-30T23:34:00.002-05:00

* Australia
* Oreo cookies and milk
* Summer
* Holding his hand
* Traveling
* Roommates that make me laugh and laugh and laugh
* No responsibility
* You. Yes, you.
* Being bad
* Sleeping in
* October Road
* A mouse-free house
* Indian food
* Warm feet (see above, Summer)

V Addict

2009-11-08T13:54:00.000-05:00

It's Sunday afternoon around 1:45pm. I am still wearing my glasses, the fugliest (and most comfy) sweatshirt of all time, and my favorite pink sweatpants. Masala has still not been taken for a walk despite the afternoon hour, which has never happened in his 2 year life.

You see, my life has gone to shit ever since I started watching True Blood. This weekend was supposed to be productive at both work and home, due to being gone 3 days last weekend in West Palm Beach and being gone 3 days this upcoming week in Raleigh for a work conference. But the True Blood. . .I cannot stop watching.

Now I'm all out of episodes, when I thought there were 14, not 12, and at a loss for what to do. I'm an addict without a fix. If only Lafayette lived around here, I bet he could hook a sister up.

Things I have neglected while "using":
* Masala
* A stack of files almost 2 feet high at work
* Gym
* Dirty kitchen
* Grocery shopping
* Laundry, laundry, laundry
* Sweeping
* Bathing
* Sleeping
* Football
* Friends

Nope. Not Old Yet.

2009-10-21T13:25:00.002-04:00

Mirror, Mirror

2009-10-18T19:31:00.003-04:00

This week's installment of Happy Yoga presented an interesting "inner yoga" exercise:

Think about someone in your life who pushes all your buttons. What are the qualities in this person that you don't like at all? Make a list.

Look over your list. Do you notice any of these qualities in yourself? If not, put the list away and look at it again in a couple of hours. Happy Yoga: 7 Reasons There's Nothing to Worry About, Steve Ross, p53.

A simple, not-rocket-science revelation, but an important one nonetheless. I'm not sure what others get out of this exercise, but for me, I shared a lot of the same qualities. This made me think: Do we not like others when we see our own bad traits reflected back at us from them? A lot of times, I think the answer is yes, and those times the answer is no, more often than not it's because they aren't doing things the "right" way, the way we think is best.

The book has this to say about relating to others:

If you want to be happy, the best thing you can do is thank, forgive, and consciously love [everyone] for being themselves. By not blaming them, but accepting them exactly as they are, you will begin to see that what was bothering you about them was really. . .you. Don't cling to your negativity; let it go. p52

Once again, I am reminded that there is no one to blame for being unhappy except me. Even when external circumstances don't always act as I would like them to, an angry, frustrated, disappointed, or other negative emotion is just a reaction. External forces, I can't control. My reaction, I can.

So cute.

2009-10-15T18:49:00.000-04:00

This week has been pretty hellish by all accounts. Seems like everyone I've talked to or heard about has had one of the worst weeks ever. (Well, except for Tempe, who hopefully is having a kick-ass birthday week.)

Apart from puppies, these 50 seconds have provided me with perhaps my only genuine, purely blissful smile all week. Ya'll probably won't have the same result, but nonetheless, I had to share.

*And no, I didn't miss the obvious "balls" joke, I'm just rising above. That's right, just like Dr. Bailey. Rising. Above.

The October Experiment

2009-10-06T22:01:00.000-04:00

On September 25th, 2009 I checked my bank account to ensure I had sufficient funds to go to Busch Gardens "Howl-o-Scream" with friends on Saturday. Well, technically I did, but realistically, I sooooo did not. It turns out my adventures at the US Open, which returned magnificent emotional dividends, had the somewhat reverse effect on finances. I didn't get paid until September 30th, so let's just say the next five/six days were, um, frugal. And by frugal I mean I ate stale cereal, eggs, and toast for almost every meal because my bank account exhausted itself around the same time as my pantry/refrigerator.

So I get paid. Then I do something really, really stupid. I buy a plane ticket to Florida for Halloween weekend. SHUT. UP. It had to be done, and I don't want to hear another chastising word about it; my mother has done a very good job already.

Which brings me to the subject of our post: What the hell have I done and how the hell am I going to make it through October?

Part of my game plan, a very large part actually, is to not eat out the entire month. No, I won't succeed, but if I make it my goal to never do it, I will fail less than if my goal is to "not eat out very often." Trust me. I've tried the latter.

This means I have to do the task I've dreaded for.ev.er. Make a meal plan. Aaaaaahhhhh. Even saying the thought makes me cringe. You see, once in college I had this roommate who posted the days of the week with their corresponding meals on the refrigerator. All three roommates chipped in for shared groceries to reduce expenses. No big deal. Except one time the other roommate and I made a meal that didn't correspond with the list and Meal-planning roommate went apeshit on us because we used the cheese that was earmarked for the enchiladas or whatever on Thursday. AS IF WE COULDN'T BUY MORE F-ING CHEESE. I digress.

The goal: Take lunch to work, make nutritious, cheap meals for dinner - use leftovers for lunch/dinner later on (read: No microwave shit)

Plan of attack: Meal plan, grocery list, banning microwave meals from fridge (insert sad face for lazy Niki)

Progress (unless otherwise noted, Clif bars for breakfast):
Oct 1 - Ate lunch at home. I think it consisted of two pieces of toast and Marmite or a microwave Amy's Organic Black Bean Burrito (had not been to store yet). Dinner - cereal, 4 margaritas (only 99cents each), chips & salsa (free w/margaritas)

Oct 2 - Convinced boss to buy lunch at local deli! Ate hodge-podge of yummy junk food at movie night. Still did not go to store.

Oct 3 - Hungover from movie night and/or beginning swine flu symptoms. Ate leftover brown rice for breakfast, Clif bar for lunch on the way to friend's parents' house at the beach, free pizza & beer for dinner. Um...accidentally had $29 bar tab. Whoops. Not entirely my fault, peeps put drinks on my tab, too drunk to sort out.

Oct 4 - Cheez-Its and burned cookies leftover from midnight snack for breakfast. Free pizza for lunch. Leftover pizza for dinner. Still have not gone to store as on vacation, returned too tired to care. Obviously. Attempt meal planning, brain could not cope with the pressure.

Oct 5 - Had to buy lunch as was at out-of-town court, no groceries to make to-go lunch. Leftover free pizza for dinner. (In case you're counting, that's approximately 4/7 meals, not counting the pizza consumed as part of movie night on Friday. When I informed R of this statistic + intent to eat only cereal for entire month, his response: Are you in college?) DID make it to store w/half-ass grocery list and ingredients purchased for real, adult meal the next day!!

Oct 6 - Toast with avocado for lunch, popcorn w/nutritional yeast & pita w/cheese for dinner. Yeah, I didn't quite make The Grit "Golden Bowl" as I had intended, but turns out nutritional yeast is excellent on popcorn (thanks organic store clerks!). Tomorrow, I swear. Tomorrow I'm going to do it. I will make nutritious dinner!

Yep, well. Off to a good start, aren't I?

I heart hoodies.

2009-10-03T01:47:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I'm up late again. Watched Evil Dead and Evil Dead II at movie night, drank sangria, and ate brownies. Zombies + caffeine = will never sleep.

In effort to chase the mental images of the movies away, I'm posting this Nike interview. I've always had a thing for hoodies, and this just might be a teeny slice of my heaven.

Chris Rock Is Better Than Me

2009-10-02T19:06:00.002-04:00

Chris Rock talks Polanski and Vick and is way funnier than I am. Check out a short clip here, and longer version here (can't embed).

I love me some Chris Rock. The Best.

Giving This a Shot

2009-10-02T00:59:00.003-04:00

I really want to talk about this, but I really don't think this is the time. It's late. I've had a few margaritas. But I have had this post on the backburner of ideas for days now, and I need to give it a go.

Roman Polanski v. Michael Vick

I refuse to watch any Roman Polanski movies. I know he's a great director, yada yada yada, but when The Pianist came out a few years ago with its rave reviews, I refused to watch. Roman Polanski drugged and raped a 13 year old girl. Ok, it was the 70s. Ok it was champagne and quaaludes, par for the 70s Hollywood course. Ok his wife was murdered by Charles Manson. But dude. He was I'm-not-sure-how-old-but-old-enough-to-know-better.

Then he ran.

Yeah, I get that the victim wants charges dropped and it's been a long time and now he's old and he's artistic and all that. In my mind, though, that's not enough. He never took his medicine. He didn't face his punishment and take it like a man. He ran. And until he sucks it up and goes in front of the judge, I refuse to give him any of my money or time by watching his movies.

When I watched Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired, a documentary about the clusterfuck of a situation it was, it did sort of alter my opinion. It really does seem like the judge completely dicked over the prosecutor and the defense attorney and Mr. Polanski. There was an agreement, and it seems the judge did everything in his power to do his own thing, to make a political showcase out of Mr. Polanski and force him to do more jailtime. I mean, I think I remember correctly - Polanski did, in fact, serve some time for this. In fact, I think the judge forced him to do more time than agreed by forbidding the jail to release him, or some such thing, and then was going to give him more time at sentencing before Polanski bolted.

So ok, the judge was an ass. Big fucking deal. I see that shit every damn day. Suck it up Polanski. Just because you're a bigshot Hollywood type (and your wife was killed) doesn't mean you get to peace out without respecting the process. Because that's the thing - there is a process, and you can use the process if you do get fucked to make the situation right. That's why I do what I do. Then again, if you were my client, probably would've turned a blind eye if you mentioned running, too.

Nevertheless, come to court, face the music, maybe then you'll get the outcome you're looking for.

Then there's Michael Vick. His crime, equally heinous. Yeah, it was "just dogs." But he tortured and brutually murdered the hell out of those dogs, displaying an equally, if not more, diabolical mind than Polanski.

Now everyone is up in arms because he's playing pro football again.

Me. . .not so much. I love dogs more than most people. I think what he did was abominable. Yet he cannot be punished forever. Yeah, maybe his punishment should've been worse, but that's not for me to say. It is what it is, and he's doing what they told him to do.

He's also been to therapy, counseling, and classes on humane treatment of animals. He has agreed, as part of his contract, to work with animal shelters in Philadelphia. I mean, the man needs to make a living. His trade is football. It's not his fault he makes an obscene, absurd amount of money doing it. It is what it is.

Why can't he turn this negative into a positive? Why must he be vilified forever? What better way to teach children in poverty, children who will listen to and relate to Vick, than for Vick to tell him how he changed? He could indirectly affect the lives of lots and lots of other animals by becoming an ambassador for how they can be treated.

Whether he will do this or not remains to be seen, but until then, I give him the benefit of the doubt. Polanski, not so much.

On Love

2009-10-02T00:03:00.000-04:00

This Happy Yoga book I've been reading is kind of blowing my mind. It has really helped me realize that if you're unhappy, sometimes you need to actively try to be happy, like actually put forth some effort. At first that seems counterintuitive, but after putting forth effort, eventually it becomes second nature. (And yes, I've had quite a few 99 cent margaritas as I type this.)

Anyway. This week I started the chapter on love. An excerpt that I just fucking love:

The love you experience at any time with any person is not coming from them; it's coming from inside of you. It's your experience of your true self. In other words, the other person is a stimulus that allows your own love to be uncovered. - Steve Ross, Happy Yoga: 7 Reasons There's Nothing to Worry About

There is an analogy that follows about chocolate and how eating eight buckets of chocolate doesn't give us eight times the satisfaction because "satisfaction comes from you." The point of the parts I've read so far is that you cannot get fulfillment from relationships; you can only be fulfilled from yourself. Only by letting go of wanting X from your partner or friend or family member can you truly love them; you must accept them as they are.

One way the book suggests to practice this: pick a random person - on the street, in a car, at the store - and see them, accept them, approve of them. Be love.

So I thought, ok, I'll give this a shot. Guess what? NOT FUCKING EASY. I thought it wouldn't be that hard, but holy hell, it's totally hard. First person I picked on Monday was a lady in the courthouse, a couple hundred pounds overweight, ratty hair, coke-bottle glasses. I focused on her, tried to accept her and appreciate her just has she was.

Then I walked by her and got a couple whiffs of awful cigarette smoke. I was done. Over. Disgusted. Literally said, "Eeeew! Gross!" to myself.

Then I tried the A.D.A. that day in court. He was being an ass. Impossible. Could. Not. Do. It.

Of course, Monday I also wanted to hit someone so bad that I ran myself to death on the treadmill after work so that I wouldn't get in a fight, so perhaps that wasn't the *best* day to try this new, positive, loving me.

So last night I decided I would try again today, except I had a new conceptualization of the project. I realized my definitions of love did not encompass what I was supposed to feel. I didn't love these people like a family member, friend, or significant other, because I didn't know them that way. The point was to love them and appreciate them as members of the Earth, part of the world; we are all in it together.

Like squirrels.

People are squirrels.

I don't know squirrels, and those shits can cause me a lot of grief when Masala tries to jerk me around to chase them. Yet everytime I see them, I smile. They make me happy. I fucking love squirrels and appreciate them as part of the animal kingdom.

So today in court, I tried that shit. Pretended people were different breeds of squirrels. And you know what? Didn't totally worked, but got much farther than last time.

Squirrels, ya'll. Squirrels are the key.

Wine: A Girl's Best Friend.

2009-09-22T21:24:00.000-04:00

Soooo. I go a little tipsy tonight. And when I blog like this, I try to keep lal typos for you guys to enjoy/jlaugh at me about.

Things I would blog about if I wasn't tipsy and about to watch some motha-fuckin' Dexgter:

* Mouse in house ate tomato = declaration of War = WTF? I cannot handle this. Need man person, STAT.

* I love my dog. he's the cutest dog ever.

* Dixon on the new 90210 is a-DORE-ah-bull.

* Know what I love more than lots of other stuff? half=popped pocorn kernals. i mean, popcorn kernels. fuck. this is hard.

* Learned v important yogi lesson today - will not always be in a good mood. Important thing is to ride the wave, realize you will get through it, know what helps pull you out of it, and not get bogged down in wallowing in it. Things are changing. Things. Are. Changing.

* New Conor Oberst project came out today. Monsters of Folk. So far not exactly loving it. Haven't even purchased it. Motto is normally: Conor can do no wrong. Potentially first time Conor fail. If this is true, entire pereception of world altered froever. fuck.

Daily Zen

2009-09-20T21:02:00.000-04:00

"You might want to consider the possibility that the root of your problems doesn't have quite as much to do with the external world as you might imagine. It's more likely that your reaction and interpretation of any given situation will dictate the nature of your experience. Yes, you can try to change the world, you can move to another town, you can divorce your spouse and find a new one, but your experience of the world cannot change until you become mindful of how you react."- Steve Ross, Happy Yoga

This morning I woke up in something of a funk. I slept in until 10am, which hasn't happened in I don't know how long. Because I'd fallen asleep watching football last night, I essentially slept 12 hours. Again, I cannot tell you the last time I slept that much. So I woke up groggy and confused, to say the least.

After walking Masala for 45 minutes or so, I was feeling more alive and awake, so I decided to take my book, Happy Yoga: 7 Reasons Why There's Nothing to Worry About, into my yoga room for inspiration. I figured a lot of people were in church working on their spirituality at just that moment, so I should take a crack at it, too.

The passage above was part of what I read today. It was followed by an "Inner Yoga" exercise which instructed me to set a timer for three minutes. In that three minutes I was supposed to ignore the external world and focus on myself. Observe my thoughts. Notice what I was thinking and feeling, without judgment. Become aware of my relationship with myself.

I rolled my eyes and set my phone alarm. To be honest, I expected this mini-meditation to be torture, but the time actually flew by. And you know what? I learned that I am internally fidgety, that nothing is ever just right. That I am always expecting a little bit more out of myself and am never satisfied.

In retrospect, this self I discovered is completely obvious. I'm Type A. Ambitious. Perfectionistic. But to see it within myself for three minutes really drove the point home that the paragraph was teaching me. If I don't learn to accept myself - and my circumstances and people around me - I will never truly be happy.

So just for today, I tried to stop figeting. I tried to quiet my mind and take everything as it comes. I tried to remain calm and not stress about the thousand other things I could/should be doing other than the one thing I was doing.

And you know what? It actually worked. I did the suggested yoga poses to get me in the right frame of mind, and after that, today was marvelous. Content. I accomplished a fair bit, but did so with a peace of mind that was astonishing and refreshing.

I know tomorrow and the next day continuing this practice of calm acceptance will be more difficult, and to be sure I will not be perfect. But today I learned that that will be okay, that I don't have to be perfect to be happy.

Quote of the Year

2009-09-15T22:04:00.004-04:00

R: See, this is good for you. Small steps toward relinquishing control of everything.

Me: Um. . .did you ever think maybe you're a control freak, too, a little bit?

R: (without missing a beat) There's a difference between being controlling and being right.

Finally. Someone who understands me.

Cannot. Handle. The Cute.

2009-09-15T21:38:00.000-04:00

The email said that it was, "so hot in Australia for a week that koalas were asking people for water." I have no idea whether that is the truth behind one of the attached photos, but holy fucking hell this picture is A-DOR-ABLE.

Sunrise, Sunset

2009-09-15T01:13:00.000-04:00

This summer has been incredible, almost better than I could ask for, really. It has been one fun adventure after another. A smile has been nearly permanently afixed on my face.

Tonight, it is over. Fall is slowly replacing Summer. My heart is becoming heavy with dread as I anticipate colder temperatures and no imminent adventures on the horizon.

I know more good times will come, but they just seem to naturally arise in the summer like no other time of year. I always hate this part, the part where I have to put my summer in a box of memories.

Sure, I should and could have a better attitude about the changing of the seasons. I will probably work on that tomorrow.

Tonight, though, tonight it is over. And I am sad.

Heaven.

2009-09-10T02:29:00.001-04:00

New York City and the US Open were perfect. I had such a good time there are no words to describe the elation I felt for 4 days straight. So many stories, so many blog posts. But for now, I don't have much time. I'm winding down after cleaning my house for hours, and I need to sleep asap.

Just wanted to share my favorite photo of the Rafa from my first day. And Megs, guess what? I took this one myself. That makes it extra awesome. : )

YES YES YES YES YES!!

2009-09-03T16:43:00.000-04:00

Schedule for Friday's matches has been released. Rafa plays the night match, as does Venus Williams. Will see Serena Williams and Andy Murry during the day.

Life.

is.

Fucking.

Good.

Leaving for airport as soon as my friend arrives. Likely no posts until Tuesday, which will undoubtedly be gushing about US Open. Consider yourselves warned.

The U.S. Open

2009-09-01T23:22:00.002-04:00

Today was completely shitty at work, but enough about that. Let's talk about the US Open, shall we? Thursday night I catch a plane to NYC to see two of my favorite people in the whole world: Am and Rafa.

When the draw first came out, I was sad because it looked like Rafa's playing days would fall on Thurs/Sat/Monday. I have tickets for Fri - Day & Night, Sat - Night, and Sun - Night. Thus, based on Rafa's projected schedule, I had only a small chance of already having tickets and would have to move to Plan B to see his match if luck wasn't on my side.

Well, as luck would have it, Rafa doesn't play his first round match until tomorrow. If it follows that he plays every other day, he should play Wed/Fri/Sun. And if the tournament schedulers know what the fuck they're doing (i.e. sexy on the main court a la Wimbledon), he'll be playing the main court, Arthur Ashe Stadium on days he plays. My odds aren't 100% yet, but fingers and toes crossed, I will get to see him at least once...potentially twice. Excitement cannot be expressed with a million !!!!!!

Everything else is gravy. And by "everything else" I mean seeing this shirtless goodness in person:

Vid posted by Nadal News

Gen Y

2009-08-30T10:38:00.000-04:00

Two separate people emailed me a list of funny "random thoughts" from 20-35 year olds. Honestly, I don't normally read or like those kinds of emails, but some of them had me laughing, pretty heartily, out loud (those are in bold). Some of my faves:

* More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves
me.

* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

* I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

* Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

* I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

* A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

* Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

* Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."

* Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies."

* Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

* Bad decisions make good stories

* Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

* I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

* I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

* I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

* My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

Note: Why didn't I have a "procrastination" tag before this post? Is it because all my posts would have that tag? Hmm. We shall see.

Why Girls Love Musicians

2009-08-29T11:21:00.000-04:00

Awww.

I Can't Help Myself.. . .

2009-08-25T01:53:00.001-04:00

. . . I love you and nobody else.

Rafa lost last week in the semi-finals at Cincinatti. This photo is from the quarters and I love it. How can one man be that beautiful? Can't wait to see him in person at US Open in about 10 days!!!!

Pic via Forty Deuce.

Today Was a Good Day

2009-08-24T22:21:00.001-04:00

8:15AM - Took a little extra time during morning sun salutations to do bridge pose, preparing the heart chakra to be compassionate for difficult clients - which I KNOW, sounds fucking cheesy, but I swear, it might have worked or at least placebo effect worked, which is a'ight by me.

12:30AM - Court finished! All cases resolved without trial, which had been a potential for two of my six cases. Difficult clients were not difficult. One hugged me.

1:30PM - Checked out Books 3 and 4 of Percy Jackson and The Olympians from the library (The Titan's Curse and The Battle of the Labryinth, respectively). Great lunch and conversation with co-worker.

3:30PM - Made grocery list, excited about three new recipes I'm going to try this week.

5:30PM - Yeah, "Boom Boom Pow" is my new go-to treadmill song. Freakin' perfect.

7:00PM - Awesome yoga class at the gym; friend subbed for normally crappy teacher, thus allowing me to get my yoga fix locally.

9:30PM - Finished baking these fucking awesome German Chocolate Cookies.

10:19PM - Wrote a blog remembering good day, about to drink some wine and chill with Percy.

Words to Live By

2009-08-23T17:12:00.001-04:00

Last week a new friend invited me to practice yoga at a studio she found about an hour away. I was floored. The facilities were the nicest I've seen, and the energy was phenomenal. And the studio mats...AAAAH. To. Die. For. Normally I use my own mat, but these mats are the bomb. I digress.

Since last Monday night, I've been mentally checking my schedule for when I'd have time to go back. I've been craving yoga in this studio like I normally crave chocolate. So when my friend texted me yesterday afternoon to see if I'd be game for a morning class today, I was all about it. . .even though I'd have to get up at 7am on a weekend. To be honest, I almost didn't go because seriously, for me, that's an early Sunday, and I lovelovelove sleeping in. But the craving took over, and I agreed.

The class was awesome again, but you don't want to hear about that. What struck me this time was a wall-hanging above the water fountain. It was one of those things that just spoke to me in that moment, so here I am sharing it with you.

The way to happiness is: keep your heart free from hate, your mind free from worry. Live simply, give much. Fill your life with love. Do as you would be done by. - Buddha

I am hungry.

2009-08-21T00:56:00.000-04:00

Tonight my friends and I did karaoke to "I'm On a Boat."

I can *almost* die happy now.

I wish I had nachos, though. :(

New Version of Me

2009-08-09T21:57:00.005-04:00

There's a longer post swimming around in my head about this, but I'm far too tired to let it out coherently.

Spent most of the day at the beach with good friends after a night out partying until 6am. My hair is slowly making its way back blonde. It's prime time for flip flops, tank tops, and skirts. My skin is a golden tan. For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling like me. I can't help but feel that my internal existential crisis has been entangled with my outward appearance, but like the chicken and the egg, I can't tell you which came first.

All I know is that today, yesterday, last weekend, I've seen glimpses of the girl I remember from Australia, the me I want to be, carefree, spontaneous. . .happy.

And damn, I didn't know how much I missed Felicity until I searched for this title sequence. Fucking good tv show, JJ Abrams before he got LOST or had an Alias. Must seek out entire 4 seasons on DVD immediately.

God Loves Me

2009-08-06T22:29:00.002-04:00

Who needs a real boyfriend when her fake boyfriend looks like this?

Oh how I've missed tennis with Rafa in the mix. Welcome back, boo, and kick ass next week in Montreal.

Pic via Forty Deuce.

UPDATE: Well, shit. Apparently there won't be much ass-kicking for Rafa, except on the receiving end, in the near future. Report from his Montreal practice essentially says he's back, but he sucks at the moment. Apparently two months off will do that to a tennis player. But let's concentrate on the positives. Like his stomach.

A Song to Pass the Time*

2009-08-05T21:31:00.000-04:00

Songs, songs, songs running around in my head these days. Songs I don't normally sing, lots of radio hip-(p)hop. Because I need to post, and these songs are all I can think about, it's one of those annoying youtube-y, song posts. (Look. I never said I'd be stellar when I returned to semi-regular blogging. Just said I'd try to be semi-regular.)

"Love Comes Around" - Keri Hilson, Feat. Kanye West & Ne-Yo. This track is the only song other than "Golddigger" where I condone Kanye so far. Love, love, loving this song. Because sometimes love knocks you down in a bad way. . .and every once in awhile it knocks you down in a good way.

"Boom Boom Pow" - Black-Eyed Peas. Cannot explain this. It makes me want to dance and dance and dance. Plus, how you can resist the lyrical genius of, "I'm so 3008, you so 2000 and late?"

"I'm on a Boat" - The Lonely Island. This is all Megs's fault. I have informed her repeatedly that I cannot get this song out of my head. She mentioned maybe I'd want to sing "I'm on a Plane" when I was flying to Florida for the weekend. Showed my friend this as soon as I landed, and an approximate hour was spent clicking on "related videos" - because that's the kind of devil YouTube is.

*Kudos to you if you got titular allusion.

Major Dilemma

2009-08-04T08:00:00.003-04:00

I think there is a mouse in my house.

I do not want to deal with this. I don't even kill spiders in my house; I scoop them up and take them outside. Now, a real live furry thing may be running around and the only thing I can think of to do about it is buy one of those disgusting killer cheese traps. UGH.

On the other hand, if I got some sort of humane trapper or whatever (do they even exist?), I don't want to pick up a living, breathing rodent. UGH.

If I got poison, it may die, smell, and I'll have no idea where the hell it is. Not to mention, Masala could get his little nose in it. UGH.

DO. NOT. WANT. TO DEAL WITH THIS.

I think this settles it. I need a rent-a-husband, stat.

Where's the Beef(cake)?

2009-07-26T21:31:00.000-04:00

Must. Have. One. Immediately.

Lately...

2009-07-22T20:59:00.000-04:00

...I've had the strangest feelin' with no vivid reason to here to find. But yet the thought of losing you's been hangin' 'round my mind...." Sorry. That's a habit I haven't been able to drop since high school - anytime someone starts off with the word "Lately" I break into Jodeci/Stevie Wonder.

I digress.**

A bullet list of things I've done "lately":

* Braves game! The Braves may be my latest sports obsession. It was so. much. fun. I haven't watched the Braves in awhile, but now I've totally memorized the lineup and have been keeping tabs on the score. If only I had cable.

* Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band. Aaaahh. There are no words. As it turns out, there are apparently no youtube videos or flickr photos either. Yet. Don't be sad. I'll find some for us soon.

* New record of driving home - 7.75 hours! The only problem is that this record is nearly untouchable yet everytime I drive I'll be kicking myself if I don't beat or match it. Sometimes awesomeness can be too awesome.

* Yoga at Athens Healing Arts Centre. I'm so in love with their Mon/Wed night power yoga class. The teacher is incredible, one of my very favoritist. Her class is challenging but she also does a remarkable job of the spiritual aspect of yoga practice as well. I'd seriously consider moving home just to take her class. No joke.

* Ate half a thin crust pizza and half a slice of birthday cake. Now, before you go all judgmental on me, let me tell you what I'd eaten previously today: 1) bowl of Cheerios for breakfast; 2) handful of Goldfish; 3) 6 inch veggie sub from Subway. Plus, did you see above where I drove home in record time?! Then I walked the dog for 45 minutes. That shit will wipe a girl out. Tasted good, too. I *almost* don't feel guilty (I mean come one, it's thin crust).

**But since we're on the subject, how come there are no more R&B groups like there used to be? Boyz II Men, Bel Biv Devoe, Jodeci, and my personal favorite, K-Ci and JoJo.

Return of Rafa

2009-07-15T23:32:00.001-04:00

Rafa and I have both been out for awhile. He with a knee injury, me with no motivation to blog. Now that he has announced his birthday present to me - returning to competition in Montreal on August 8th - it is only apropos that my return to blogging feature my fantasy boyfriend.

I have deemed this picture the hottest clothes-on photo of Rafa of all time. Seriously.

The jacket. The white t-shirt. The jeans. The motorcycle. It's all so badass-y. And you all know how much I love the bad boys. You can read more about Rafa's motorcycle fetish over at Nadal News, from whence this picture was borrowed. (You should really click on the picutre to get the giant view of Rafa and his bike because this tiny picture doesn't do it justice.)

I am not dead.

2009-07-05T21:23:00.000-04:00

Dear Internets,

I'm alive! Please accept my sincere apologies for the lack of posting lately. Life has been a little bit difficult the past few weeks making blog motivation scarce.

Good news is that I think I'm turning a corner. Bad news is that after an awesome weekend, I don't have the energy to post more than this note at the moment.

Hopefully all my readers have not abandoned me. Many thanks for your perseverance, loyalty, and understanding.

xoxo,
Nik

Twitter F-ing Rocks

2009-06-15T21:08:00.001-04:00

I have no idea what time it is in Iran. I think it is just before dawn, but I'm not sure. All I know is that tonight Twitter had scheduled maintenance for around 9:45pm and once people began protesting and asking for help in Iran, Twitter changed their maintenance.

Read about it here. Instead of being an asshole company who shrugs its shoulders and says, "sorry," it recognized its importance and did what it could to help. In my book, that's pretty fucking cool. And if you think Twitter and/or the Iranians on Twitter are overemphasizing the impact, then how about this as food for thought: The government considers them so much a threat that they are disabling proxies as fast as they becomg available as well as hacking into individual Twitter accounts and threatening some Iranian Twitterati. (Update: Just after I published post, returned to Twitter to find the following):

Iranian gov't is watching Twitter; when RTing Iranians, replace username with "Iran" RT from Iran" Please RT

It's incredible that Twitter has become integral to this entire story. One cannot (or should not) report about the Iranian election protests without mentioning Twitter. When mainstream media and cable news outlets, in the US and other countries, failed to really report what was going down on Sunday, the people told their own stories with 140 characters or less on Twitter. People tweeted and retweeted #cnnfail #iranelection until CNN got the message and began doing something about coverage.

I think that's what is so compelling to me about this. Yes, the revolution is exciting, inspiring, scary, all those things. But the fact that those involved are shouting their stories from proverbial rooftops for all of us to hear as it happens is extraordinary. It's not a reporter showing footage from hours before or coming via satellite at the journalists' hotel. It's not a documentary years later with memories of what happened. It's a man, a woman, a student, a regular person in the thick of it in the now almost desperately conveying the events around them. And the world has listened, and in response people have demanded what they want to see and read.

Iran sits on the cusp of a cultural and political revolution, but make no mistake. The participants have already revolutionized news reporting as we know it. So say what you will about Twitter, but don't deny its utility has almost certainly reach heights well beyond its purpose. Pretty fucking nifty.

Iran

2009-06-14T21:34:00.003-04:00

I just feel compelled to put this news out there any way possible. Short story: Iranian election results showed landslide victory for incumbent crazy Ahmadinejad (2/3 of vote). Polls up until election indicated extremely close race. Stories circulating that opponent, and more centrist, Moussavi was informed early that he was "officially" the winner; some early reports indicate HE was the landslide winner. Based on these factors, Moussavi supporters have basically formed an uprising/revolution for the entire weekend. Police brutality and riots ensued.

Videos can be found on YouTube showing students who were beaten when Ansar-Hezbollah stormed into their dorm rooms tonight/this morning. According to one reporter, this is a scare tactic to prevent the students, largely supporters of Moussavi, from participating in marches on Monday.

For up-to-minute reporting check out this blog by Andrew Sullivan of The Atlantic and search #iranelection on Twitter. I've been "following" several twitterers who are English-speaking and in Iran, communicating the only way they can due to the government jamming internet and phone lines.

I really, really have to go to the office and work now. Will be watching, though.

2009-06-11T00:40:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-06-08T20:00:00.000-04:00

No, you guys aren't in bizarro world, I'm just pre-planning. Also, one's 30th birthday is a milestone event, so I've just-this-very-moment decided to celebrate it until the year 2010.

Going to *hopefully* see Rafa in person at the beginning of September! This morning I purchased tickets to four "sessions" of tennis at the US Open at Arthur Ashe Stadium. Keeping fingers crossed Rafa plays during one of those sessions and on that court or else someone is going to get a beatdown.

Now that I think about it, throw the Conor concert in late July into the birthday festivities as well.

Birthdays rock. Everyone celebrate yours today!

Positivity

2009-06-03T18:26:00.002-04:00

Watching The O.C. Season 2 on DVD. It is fantasamagoric. Yes. Fantasmagoric. Right now, it is practically the only thing that is pure, effortless happiness that doesn't give me a hangover. I am not lying to you when I say that I wish Seth Cohen was a real person.

Go out and watch it! Season 1 is ok, but Season 2 is great.

Other happy news - there are bunnies everywhere! Of course, this morning I saw a baby bunny in a neighbor's yard while walking the dog only to see same bunny as roadkill 1 hour later on the way to work. I know. I almost cried right then and there except I had to be in court and mascara running down my face is not cool for clients or judges. Now that I think about it, the very first time I cried myself to sleep was when my mom accidentally hit a rabbit on the way home from my grandparents' house in second grade. I vividly remember her telling me the rabbit *might* be ok because he hopped away, but still wondering if his leg was broken or something equally horrible.

Anyway, there are lots of bunnies, well, I hope there are lots and not just the same one I see everywhere that is now dead. Oh shit. Ok. Will think positive thoughts, positive thoughts about living, breathing baby bunnies!

Bummer.

2009-05-31T22:05:00.000-04:00

I hate to do this to you guys, but I'm not sure I can sleep without venting a little. In the grand scheme of things, my life is fantastic and I have nothing to complain about. I know this. In my little corner of the world, however, the following things are giving me grief this Sunday evening:

* Rafa loses in 4th round at French Open to giant douchebag named Soderling (actually wrote a much longer post about my coping with this but going to give it a day to marinade and edit then decide whether to publish)

* Bum knee/thigh/ankle? Let's just say bum leg

* Lack of exercise due to bum leg

* Feel fat due to lack of exercise and also, possibly, PMS

* Hopelessness re: how to remedy bum leg. Are there any good doctors here? Can I even afford a doctor, even with insurance, as may not all be covered?

* Hopelessness re: living in awful place where have to worry about presence of good doctors

* Hopelessness re: timeline for leaving awful place

* Boys

* Return to work tomorrow (Although really, given grand scheme of things, should be thankful I even have a job. . .even if they are going to decrease my pay by 7% and can I still afford rent + student loans + exorbitant electric bill + food?)

Gee. I thought this might make me feel better to get this off my shoulders, but in fact, now I just want to cry. Then again, maybe that's what I need to do to feel better? I hate being a girl. HATE. IT.

New Favorite Singer

2009-05-27T00:02:00.001-04:00

Fucking priceless.

Did you see those hips shake? Did you see the COWBOY move? DID YOU, Megan?

Just when I think I have all the love I can possibly have for him, I find more awesome.

Kate Chopin Would Be Proud...Or Would She?

2009-05-25T21:22:00.000-04:00

Today I went to the beach to read and catch some rays, because despite all the bad habits I've managed to break from my Southern upbringing (i.e. Crisco, white bread, ~~sugar water~~ sweet tea), getting a fabulous tan is still one of my vices. It makes me happier to be brownish rather than pasty white, ok? I get that I will have more wrinkles (and risk getting skin cancer), so yeah, I've totally reeled it in some, but I'm not Nicole Kidman. Pale does not look good on me. Pale makes me look sick, tired, and worst of all, ugly. I digress.

So I'm at the beach. Also went to the beach on Friday, where I tried to get in the ocean; just putting my feet in was enough to make me wish I had a sweater. Naturally, my hopes were not that high for swimming today.

After three hours of sitting and reading, I decided what the hell, let's check on the water temperature today.

Nope. Still cold.

And then something inside snapped. The thing that makes me behave rationally went on vacation or had a short or something, because all of a sudden, it became imperative that I get in that fucking freezing ass water.

Damn. It. I hate it when I do this to myself. I decide I'm going to do something stupid. I realize shortly thereafter thing is stupid, but by then it's too late. I've set forth a goal, and I'll be damned if I'm going to quit. My daddy didn't raise a quitter (told ya, Southern upbringing). So there I was. Stuck. Probably moments away from going into hypothermia or whatever but completely incapable of stopping it.

I'll skip the part where I inch in body part by body part until I suck it up and take the plunge because the plunge. . .it was fantastic. It was cleansing and invigorating and beautiful and yes, cold as balls, but then I couldn't stop.

Afterwards I felt very satisfied, proud of myself for going in when no one else would, for using the beach as it was intended rather than using it as a glorified sun deck. It reminded me that sometimes we need to push ourselves to the edge, even jump off the cliff, to truly experience life and learn that we are far stronger than we once believed. It helps if the weather is warm and there's a towel handy, but you get the drift. : )

Next time, jump in.

Best Dog Ever

2009-05-25T20:51:00.003-04:00

I'm pretty sure that Masala's idea of heaven consists of millions and millions of squirrels frolicking in a never-ending forest. He loves loves squirrels. There is not much he won't ignore for a treat, but when squirrels are around, even treats won't distract him.

Because the dog has such an affinity for squirrels, sometimes I will let him "chase" them. This usually means the squirrel is already too high up on the tree for him to reach and has already freaked out that a predator is near. (I just don't have the heart to cause squirrel cardiac arrest, even for Masala.)

Today we encountered just such squirrel, and when I yelled at M to "Go get 'im!" he pounced toward the tree like a lion going in for the kill (he was still on the leash, mind you). Normally he will simply jump up, put his feet on the trunk and stare into the branches longingly thinking, "I'll get you next time, sucka!"

Not today.

No.

Today, that dog tried to climb the tree. When I tell you he tried to climb the tree, I mean he literally attempted to get his hind legs up so that he could scurry up, as if say, he was a CAT. When that didn't work, he tried to jump into the nook between a couple of branches. He got more airborne than I've ever seen him get, and quite honestly, if given time to practice, I dare say he could get up in that tree.

My neighbors must've thought I was high the way I was cackling on the sidewalk. It was truly, truly awesome. And hilarious. And so. freakin. cute!

Because one never has a video camera at the appropriate moments in life when they are most desperately needed, I do not have photographic evidence of his dog-defying feat today. I do, however, have this little video I shot a few months ago. (God. My accent has gotten out of control. Must move from here asap.)

LOL. While previewing, Masala heard me on the video, stopped what he was doing, and ran over as if to say, "Ready! Play! Where's the ball??!!"

5 for Rafa

2009-05-22T23:09:00.001-04:00

This is one of the coolest ideas ever. The team behind Rafael Nadal has created a campaign for fans to encourage their favorite tenista onto a record-breaking fifth straight French Open win. The gimmick? Write a 5 word sentence or 5 letter word on your hand, film it, post it.

I was trying to do an acrostic with VAMOS with each word containing 5 letters. I got Valor, Ardor, Mirth, and then got stuck and went to sleep only to wake up and realize Valor was the only good one. At any rate, I think I've abandoned this idea and now am trying to come up with something better. After all, this chick in Manchester, England already posted something similar, and let's be honest, hers is pretty damn good.

Suggestions? I don't think "Will You Marry Me, Please?" is a keeper for this particular project, although I'm not sure that will stop me from submitting it. ; )

I'm thinking of 5 words that start with V, preferably five letters each. Why V? Because V = Roman numeral for 5 and also VAMOS! I've got Valor, Vigor, and Vamos (which will be the last one). Anybody got two more?

UPDATE: Ok, here's what I came up with. I've uploaded it to Rafa's YouTube page, but not sure when it will be "published." Likely it has to undergo some sort of review before it appears on the page. I know it's cheesy, but it's a little clever, no?

WTF Happened?

2009-05-20T22:27:00.000-04:00

I have no idea. One minute I'm full of inspiration and creativity. The next, nothin'. Maybe it's Twitter. Maybe it's too much tennis. Maybe it's summer. Maybe it's TV season finales. Whatever it is, I'm hoping it will come back soon.

OH. Guess what? I'M GOING TO SEE CONOR OBERST IN ATHENS MOTHER FUCKERS! Yep. I couldn't make the DC-area show and currently no shows around my neck of the woods. Plus...Conor. In the fucking 40 Watt. As I told my co-workers after my post-court pre-lunch can't-get-tickets panic, "it's a dream show." So. Excited. Two months away. I won't sleep until it's here. Muchos gracias to Ash who gave me a hook up. Ash, today you are totally my hero!

Singlehandedly Saving the Economy

2009-05-03T22:14:00.001-04:00

So...umm...I bought some stuff. Actually, I bought a lot of stuff.

Yesterday I was feeling nostalgic for weekends in Charlottesville when J and I would spend an hour or so at Barnes & Noble happily perusing the shelves (him) and nicely laid out selections on tables (me). I'd always come home with 2-4 books, determined to read them voraciously, and a guilty chocolate chip cookie or 2 (seriously, best choc chip cookies I've ever had, and that's saying something). Anyway, inevitably we'd get home and decide we needed to watch a movie or tv show and the books would sit until a nice summer or spring day when I would insist on lounging by the pool (of the apartment complex at which we did not live).

This nostalgia began because I'd been sitting on my new porch swing reading Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason and wondered if Helen Fielding had written anything since that awful Olivia Joules crap. Google landed me on this semi-interesting article about chick lit which then led me to searching this Sarah Dunn person which then led to me feverishly clicking on "add to cart" on Amazon.

Some of my items ended up in the "Save for Later" bin, but I did come away with these four titles (2 at full price - but free shipping, and two at ridiculously low prices like $3 and $4):

The Girl She Used to Be - David Cristafano

Prozac Nation - Elizabeth Wurtzel

The Big Love: A Novel - Sarah Dunn

Strokes of Genius: Federer, Nadal, and the Greatest Match Ever Played - Jon Wortheim (About the match which ignited my undying love for Rafa. Shut up, Megan.)

After these purchases I made my way to the kitchen (for the purpose of doing dishes) where I realized that a large number of my drinking glasses have vanished. Sure, Masala and I have broken a few, but I didn't realize the damage was this drastic. Now, if all glasses are dirty and in the dishwasher, there are none to drink out of! This situation, of course, had to be rectified.

I had to bring in the big guns: Mom. She loves this stuff, so I called her and gave her a project. A few hours later several emails subject line "glasses" were delivered to my inbox and thus began the hunt for drinking glasses. Somehow, I ended up purchasing a few of these recycled glass storage jars which I fell in love with. I mean, I've been needing some containers like this for awhile now for all the stuff I've started buying from the bulk bins at the organic grocer: lentils, couscous, quinoa - not to mention regular ole flour and sugar necessities.

All of this is well and good, but the !!MOST EXCITING PART!! about all this research was finding this gem of an online retailer: Greenfeet. They sell recycled and organic home products and purchase carbon offsets for all of their shipping. Very, very cool. So naturally, I had to buy something from them. Ta-dah! My new drinking glasses:

Also, Mom sent me the Southern Living catalog, as she does not quite understand my aesthetic, but was trying to be helpful. Surprise, surprise to me - some of the stuff in there is fab. And not cheap. But I do want the Tribeca Tumblers on pages 6/7...maybe another time.

As if this wasn't enough, I thought Masala should get in on the action, too. Sure, he'd gotten two new squeaky/ball toys when I bought his food, but those were just cheap little things. This hot weather has me so hot I'm already sweating behind my knees...inside...in freaking MAY. I can only imagine how he feels. During winter I came across some "cooling" beds and made a mental note for the summertime. Today felt like just the day to try to find one of them. Lucky Little M will soon be sleeping coolly in his very own Snuggly Sleeper (did not pay price on that webpage):

Yes, I wanted to get him an environmentally friendly bed, too, but those things are a) damn expensive and b) they don't have "cooling" ones yet - I felt like he would really feel the benefits, so I eco-splurged.

Who needs real life friends and/or local retail outlets when you have internet shopping? Best part is, next week or two I'm going to get all kinds of goodies delivered to my door as little surprises that I completely forgot about amidst whatever shitty day I'm having. Hurray! Is retail therapy on dual levels! Am genius. (Am also broke until June)

Nole For the Win?!

2009-05-03T18:44:00.001-04:00

Oh, wait. Rafa FTW, Nole for the LOL!

Rafa wins his fourth at Rome, his third tournament in a row, making it a total of 15ish Masters Series titles, just two behind Agassi's all-time record. 30 match win streak on clay. RI-DIC-u-lous.

Novak Djokovic, aka Nole, is the only player who evens comes close to competing with Nadal on clay, and has been his finals opponent in two of the last three tournaments. Nole is known for his impressions, and this cheeky Italian woman in pants suit and - is that white tennis shoes?! - ~~cajoled~~ peer pressured Nole into doing a Rafa impression. Pretty funny. Probably funnier if you speak Italian and understand wtf is being said.

Psst. Don't tell Megan I posted this because she might try an intervention. I saw that episode of Party of Five, and I'm really not into it.

Drunk niki

2009-05-02T00:59:00.000-04:00

presented without typeo corrections, just as you love her.

so i'm home early-ish b/c i have yoag in 8 hours nad needed to get some sleep unlike last week when i got opnly 4 hours before yoga.

anyway, i got home and ran straight to twitter because that's how i roll. found some lolcats that cracked my shit up and needed to share.

not funny, but so. FRICKIN. cute. i can hardly stand it.

this is the second runner up. loves it. the caption isn't funny until you focus on the cat...the cat is priceless.

this is my favorite, had me giggling so lound that masala woke up from a deep, deep slumber to see wtf was oingoing on. i know in th e light of sober mornign it waon't be so funny, but right now...HILARIOUS.

you're welcome.

Dear Justice Souter,

2009-04-30T23:40:00.000-04:00

It saddens me greatly that you will be leaving the Supreme Court in June.

However.

THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for waiting until Bush left office. I know this was your plan, and I greatly appreciate you not croaking before we elected someone sensible into office.

Please feel free to suggest some names to President Obama so that we can continue to maintain at least 5 justices who aren't cuckoo for cocoa puffs on the bench. (Particularly since Breyer jumped off the deep end a couple of weeks ago when he joined Alito's dissent in Arizona v. Gant. Give him a refresher course in sanity before you leave, if you will. Thanks.)

Warm regards,
Niki

The Reign in Spain

2009-04-26T23:19:00.003-04:00

2 hot Spanish "tenistas," 1 Youtube video - stick around or skip to minute 8/8.5 for some serious cuteness.

Courtesy of Babz at El Toro de Rafa

It must totally suck to be David Ferrer. He's pretty hot, has the European jock thing going for him, is excellent on clay. But then there's Rafa. Not only does he trump Ferrer in all those categories, but he's also taller. Bummer. (Let's not even discuss the trophy size disparity, which is beyond comical.)

So yeah, Rafa just won his fifth straight Barcelona Open today. Last week he won his fifth straight in Monte Carlo. Next week he'll go for number four in Rome, then after that number five at the French Open. It doesn't get much more awesome than that.

Don't believe me? His win percentage since 2005 is 97.2% on clay. 97.2%. Are any of you so phenomenal at your job that you kick ass 97% of the time you work? No. No you're not. He is a god.

Battle Your Blogger

2009-04-26T22:29:00.001-04:00

Q: How many boxes of cereal do you currently have in your pantry/cabinets?

Put your answer in the comments. If you beat me, I will send you a prize. I hear you screaming at the computer, "How can we trust you?!" Easy. Honor Code.

Oh, alright. I'll give you photographic evidence and Girl Scout's honor not to go buy a whole bunch of cereal just to win.

Because I'm a lawyer and some of you might try to cheat/fib: Cereal = the shit on the cereal aisle in the prototypical rectangular box, although if it came from the "organic" cereal aisle, that's ok, too. It does NOT include other similar breakfast foods which hav to be heated such as oatmeal or grits (otherwise, ya'll ain't got a chance of beating me, I swear), but DOES include granola, whether or not contained in box. If it typically comes in a box but you got the cheap kind that comes in a bag, that's ok. Count it. Is this clear enough? DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?

Contest ends Wednesday, May 29, 5pm EST (or until I post the answer, whichever comes later).

Accentuate the Positive

2009-04-22T21:25:00.006-04:00

It's been a rough few days. This past weekend was so much fun, and it's always difficult for me to come home to this boring, awful place after good times with great friends. Then, yesterday, I got some bad news on the work front - not about my current job, but about the prospect of moving away. Fortunately, the following things have kept my malaise in check so that I don't downward spiral into full-on can't-get-out-of-bed-drink-all-the-time depression:

* The gym - Post-workout euphoria is almost better than sex, and in this crappy town, definitely safer.

* Masala - I can't decide if it would be better or worse if he knew how to talk, because the thoughts I create for his expressions crack me up and what he's really probably thinking is "eat. sleep. go for walk. sleep. eat. get belly rubbed. sleep."

* Escazu chocolates - I recommend the Beaufort Bar. Get one for yourself, ASAP. You won't be sorry, and it's totally worth the cost. I promise. Would I lie to you?

* Bridget Jones

* Random phone calls from 2 old friends

* Sleep. Lots and lots of sleep, especially way past alarm clock going off. Wait. Is that good or bad?

* LOLCats - my favorite so far this week:

* This week's Goop newsletter - I know, that site is totally cheesy and kind of pretentious, but Gwyneth has good intentions, so I visit it from time to time. This week she asks several "sages" about why humans are inclined to think bad thoughts, how it adversely affects us, and how to keep it in check; she calls it the "evil tongue." An excerpt from one of the answers that I keep coming back to:

When we speak positively and refrain from evil speech, we surround ourselves with more and more positive energy, therefore sustaining our spiritual growth. Conversely, when we speak negatively about others, our words stay with us wherever we go, blocking our happiness. For instance, when we wake up in a bad mood for no apparent reason, Kabbalists explain there is a reason. The energy we created by maligning someone’s character yesterday adversely affects us today.

One's personal thoughts on Kabbalah aside, the heart of this lesson, I think, is very valid and definitely worth putting into practice. It's all about karma, people.

Because I'm Probably Drunk Right Now

2009-04-21T00:02:00.001-04:00

I flove this video of Rafa from the quarter-finals of the Australian Open. Seriously. So. Fucking. Cute. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to all of you. Can. Not. Control. It.

Because I was too drunk to give proper credit when I originally posted, this comes from nadalnews.

I Have No Idea

2009-04-19T22:33:00.004-04:00

I felt like I should post even though have little to no brain power and desperately need to be in bed. Boone retreat with girlfriends was excellent, and I am missing those bitches already. Today I hiked alone at Grandfather Mountain. Sure that place is sort of cheesy, but it's relatively safe and easy to find the trails; the trails themselves, kind of treacherous. I could've spent all day there, but cut it short so as not to arrive home at 2AM (am slightly responsible, boo). More on this adventure later. I leave you with Cody, one of the bears in the bear habitat.

Warning, maybe

2009-04-14T23:11:00.004-04:00

About an hour ago I threw my phone waaaayyy across the room, I'd say 20-30 yards of hardwood, where it slammed into my kitchen cabinets. Have not yet collected said phone and put the pieces back together (as have been manically completing tax forms causing phone temper tantrum). Possibly have killed phone completely. Just thought some of you might like to know should you try calling and continuously get sent straight to voicemail. Also, may try checking local jails to see if I have gone on raging crime spree to pay my $1,500 of taxes.

Thursday Update

2009-04-09T23:11:00.005-04:00

118 lbs (must be at perfect weight after salad for lunch + running on treadmill without dying + walking the dog + lemon cake at lunch + lentils for dinner); alcohol units: 0 (hope to rectify this tomorrow, assuming thirst for "the drink" returns from Death Virus hiatus in time); life outside work/internet/dog: 0 (hate long weekends with nothing to do...heard rumor of band playing tomorrow, will contact one and only non-work friend who lives in shithole town to see if she is going)

Well, I really do hate to post and move the pictures down the page, but I suppose at some point it must be done.

Am doing terrible Bridget impersonation. Any self-respecting Bridget would be colossally pissed right now (in the British way, not the American way) singing along with Chaka Khan. However, evil Death Virus has sapped my body of any craving for alcohol whatsoever and replaced it with an insatiable desire for cookies, cake, and chocolate. I'm not joking. I think about these 3 things more than I think about sex. And that's saying something, people.

Tonight did very good job of resisting the urge to cry on the couch with a tub of ice cream. Instead turned sadness into determination and ran for 45 minutes on the treadmill. My 5k training guide said to do 3 ten minute intervals of running at RPE 6 interspersed with 2 minutes of walking. So I did 4 ten minute/2 minute intervals, and thought my left knee might leave me for another girl around minute 35. But I begged and pleaded and it made it through, and honestly I think our relationship may be stronger than ever.

Ugh. Speaking of relationships, was very bad today. After nearly two weeks, succumbed to inevitable break-up sex with Perez Hilton. Was good while it lasted but left me feeling empty and unfulfilled after. Best part about it is that I realized I'm not really missing all that much since I left him and reaffirmed my decision to part ways. So that's a relief.

Still have not made co-workers' thank-you cookies. Partly because Mon/Tues was exhausted and partly because Wed was afraid I would eat entire batch alone and couldn't bring myself to tempt fate. Did successfully make red lentils, although not on Sunday as had hoped. Was not my fault, though. Red lentils had gone off and needed to purchase new ones. Also was not my fault about the peach salad thingy because peaches were awful. Will never buy bloody Chilean peaches again!

Ooooh. Am doing fabulously on the no pre-packaged/frozen dinner goal. None so far this week! Monday ate cereal, Tuesday ate pretzels and hummus, Wednesday ate lentils, Thursday ate leftover lentils. Huzzah! Am culinary nutritional genius!

Ah, what else...have done well with the working out and have managed to keep kitchen in semi-neat state ever since cleaning on Sunday. Also completed 3 loads of laundry! Is miracle. Consider self a champion and any other goals completed = icing on the cake. Mmmm. Cake. Wonder if I have all the ingredients to make one. Fuck the cake, actually. Just want some icing! Damn you, Death Virus.

Can.not. Resist.

2009-04-05T15:07:00.002-04:00

Look, I've been watching and reading a ridiculous amount of tennis and have been pretty good about not posting pictures of Rafa all things considered.

But I love these two photos from his quaterfinal loss to Juan Martin Del Potro in Miami this past week. I would be remiss if I didn't post them. See more at miri's always awesome site.

Hell, let's make this a Caption This Contest. So many things he could be thinking...especially if you look at these in sequence.

Ok, now I'm off to work on my goals. I had to watch Andy Murry beat Novak Djokovic in the Sony Ericsson Final first. Love me some Andy Murray (probably my #2 behind Rafa), and Novak is usually entertaining as well. Also loving Andy Roddick these days even though he's sort of a dick. His new attitude is refreshing and he always tells it like it is. I like that. Plus, with Fed sounding more and more pompous every day, I was really rooting for Roddick to beat him the other day. Ok. Enough. I get it.

Bridget = Me therefore Me = Bridget?

2009-04-05T14:03:00.000-04:00

1** lbs (have no idea, as am in beautiful zen-like place where do not own scale, also trying desperately to hold on to empty stomach skinny feeling, a welcome after-effect of the Death Virus), alcohol units 0, cigarettes 0 (although never smoke, so would be shocked if this number reached above 0), exercise completed 0 (but have good intentions for later, so is good)

Last night I was feeling tired, depressed, and worst of all, bored. I tried to watch the NCAA Final Four, but it turns out I don't really care. I could've watched a movie but nothing on Netflix really seemed interesting, plus I knew I'd fall asleep. Oddly enough I felt like reading. Earlier in the day I walked down to the waterfront and forced myself to sit there until I finished The Subtle Knife no matter how hard the wind tried to blow me away. This made me remember the joy of reading, but I wasn't really in the mood to read any of the random non-fiction books I've accumulated on my bookshelf to read.

So I did something I almost never do. I decided to re-read a book. And you've probably guessed, that book is Bridget Jones's Diary. From page 1 I knew I'd made the right decision. The book opens with her lists of things she "Will" and "Will Not" do in the new year (aka resolutions). This, of course, weaves a cohesive thread through a lot of her diary entries the rest of the year. A brief selection which proves Bridge and I are about 90% the exact same person:

"I WILL NOT:
* Drink more than 14 alcohol units a week
* Behave sluttishly around the house, but instead imagine others are watching
* Spend more than earn
* Fall for any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomaniacs, chauvinists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders, perverts

I WILL:
* Reduce circumference of thighs by 3 inches (i.e. 1.5 inches each) using anticellulite diet
* Save up money in form of savings. Poss start pension also
* Make better use of time
* Not go out every night but stay in and read books and listen to classical music
* Get up straight away when wake up in mornings
* Go to gym three times a week not merely to buy sandwich
* Make up compilation "mood" tapes so can have tapes ready with all favorite romantic/dancing/rousing/feminist etc. tracks assembled instead of turning into drink-sodden DJ-style person with tapes scattered all over the floor

The last one in particular really made me giggle and realize how similar Bridget and I are because at least once per day I think to myself, "I need to make an exercise/dancing/driving/empowering etc playlist on my iPod." I digress.

I'm not stupid enough to make a list of yearly resolutions because I've had plenty of practice not achieving lofty goals. However, it is good to have goals, so I thought why not try Bridget Jones-style this week and see how it goes.

Sunday goals
* Complete at least 3 loads of laundry (have already done half a load. Yay for small steps!)
* Clean kitchen
* Make those damn red lentils that have been sitting on the counter for an uncountable number of months with so much promise
* Make cookies for office (to thank them for help during last week's Death Virus and car fiasco)
* Resume workout regime after 1 week off due to Death Virus (in form of yoga, treadmill, and/or elliptical)
* Make Peach, Mozzarella, and Basil Salad that Jenn introduced me to last year and have been craving (and for which I bought the ingredients even though some of them may have come from Chile instead of locally...am bad environmentalist)

Weekly goals
* Continue workout regime at least 3/5 week days and 1/2 weekend days
* Bring lunch to work 2/5 days
* No pre-packaged frozen/boxed meals until at least Friday (when frozen Kashi pizza is acceptable)
* Blog in witty, brilliant, Bridget-fashion about success/failure of goals
* Read something not-on-the-internet every day for at least 5 minutes
* Buy birthday presents for people in March (i.e. Mom, niece)

As incentive for these goals I just dropped an embarassing amount of money at the grocery store, and since I'm broke, cannot justify spending any more money on food for the rest of the week. Of course, lunch with officemates is inevitable, so really eating a brought-from-home lunch even one day will be an improvement. Honestly, I have serious doubts about not eating pre-packaged meals because I'm often so exhausted by the time I finally get home and ready for dinner at 8pm. And STARVING. But we'll see. I'm going for meals that are easy to make and have ample leftovers.

Stay tuned....

2009 Hates Me

2009-04-02T22:23:00.000-04:00

Something is wrong with my car.

Again.

Something is so wrong with my car that I'm worried it won't make it to the shop in the morning...which is almost literally across the street.

Alls I know is that if this cost anywhere near the $700 I got to spend fixing my car about three weeks ago, I'm turning on the tears. And those cold-hearted car shop people are going give me that shit for free.

Sick Day #2

2009-03-31T11:07:00.005-04:00

An improvement from yesterday, except that after puking Gatorade twice last night, I was ordered by my mother at 815AM this morning "YOU ARE NOT to go to work!" So here I am again, couch-bound. It's probably for the best, since before about 30 minutes ago I hadn't eaten anything in over 24 hours. Ahh, sweet Cheerios, please treat me right. My body is still not well, even though mentally I'm a lot more present than yesterday.

It's funny the things that set off nausea. I desperately want to watch tennis, but the sound of the ball and watching it go back and forth does not agree with me. Today I thought would go better, but not so much. Luckily Rafa plays around 9PM, so cross fingers I can take it by then.

Commercials on tv are killer. I have to mute them and turn my head away or else I get super queasy. Even the computer and internet can be a bit much; yesterday I didn't even pick the damn thing up after about 1pm. Although today I checked my email, I still can't stomach the idea of Twitter or FB. In fact, I think to myself, "how could anyone ever stand so many different stimuli?" Of course, yesterday I wondered how anyone could ever eat, like, at all, so....

Having cable would definitely come in handy, but maybe I'll watch some or Bridget Jones' Diary or Love Actually to pass the time. Oooh...or I could check out what Netflix has to offer. Too bad hulu dropped the ball with season 3 of 30 Rock...I think that would be just about perfect.

It's also too bad I'm sick. If I was feeling my best this would be a fucking gold mine of humorous writing. Instead I'm bored and need something to do, so you get this boring fodder. Lucky you!

Christmas came early!

2009-03-31T10:54:00.000-04:00

One of the very best television shows is not getting cancelled. Yesterday Variety reported that NBC and DirecTV renewed their one-of-a-kind deal for not just one, but TWO more 13 episode seasons of Friday Night Lights.

I'm not quite sure what this means for recent graduates Riggins, Saracen, and Lyla, but I don't really care. I was not ready to say goodbye just yet, because this most recent season was awesome.

Sick Day

2009-03-30T11:38:00.000-04:00

UGH. I feel worse than I think I ever, ever have before. Spent 2am-7am alternately lying down on my bathroom floor, puking, and .... Almost like clockwork every half hour or so there would be drama, then calm, then repeat. I have NEVER IN MY LIFE thrown up so many times. At first I tried to brush my teeth each time, but it got to be a hassle and it was easier to just lay back down.

I had hoped that once my system had nothing left in it the symptoms would go away. Not so much. This is worse than the Salmonella, I'm telling you. I have no idea what it is; possibly food poisoing, possibly the worst virus of all time, possibly I'm pregnant.

HA! Ok. Not possibly I'm pregnant.

The bad news is that I'm afraid to use the bathroom downstairs because it's clogged up before and I'm not trying to have that happen again. But there's no TV upstairs...so everytime I need to get to the bathroom I've got to climb the stairs, resulting in more ill feelings in my stomach.

The good news is that I get to stay at home and watch tennis all day. Yay! Also, because I'm watching tennis online, I can transport my entertainment up to bed if need be, thus alleviating some of the effort between homebase and bathroom. (Possible bad news, unsure if anyone good is playing; will have to check schedule.)

Ok. This trauma has now been recorded for posterity. Resume fetal position.

My New Obsession(s)

2009-03-29T22:54:00.000-04:00

Since I've broken up with Perez Hilton (today is 4 days sober), I need a new addiction to fill the void left by his frequent posting and drama - otherwise I might have to be productive at work or clean my kitchen/do laundry at home. Enter the following:

* Tennis blogs - this originated when I found Nadal News, as I was seeking more and more info get my Rafael Nadal fix. That fabulous site led me to numerous other fabulous sites, and over the past week I have really enjoyed being a full-blown tennis fan. I've always half-assed followed tennis, but now I'm getting into the nitty gritty. There's so much to learn, but sites like Forty Deuce and Down the Line provide me with lots of info as well as the requisite snark. Yeah, I'll probably wax poetic about tennis on the blog, but I promise to keep it entertaining and to a minimum. I swear! Ok. I'll also post pictures of hot guys and their arms? I knew you wouldn't mind.

* Twitter - Obviously.

* Frozen grapes - Delicious springtime dessert, especially since I can't eat chocolate at night.

* Running - I don't know who I've become either. First there were the triathlon fantasies, which kicked into high gear when my gym teased me about training sessions. That hasn't panned out yet, but my co-worker mentioned a 5K and now I'm all over that. I'm even starting to crave running. It's so weird. So very, very weird.

* New haircut - It's so short. I don't even know what got into me. I was afraid going short would make me look fat*, and sometimes I think that is true, but from the neck up I love it so much that I don't care! Just cut it today and didn't wear makeup, so absolutely no pictures. Maybe next week if I think about it.

* Robitussin - Chris Rock's dad was onto something.

* Rafa - I just put him on the list so I could post this picture I borrowed from Nadal News (because clearly he is not a "new" obsession). You love me.

* NOTE: Please don't think if you have short hair that I think you're fat. I was only referring to myself, my body, my face, etc. Short hair actually makes a lot of girls look skinnier.

Open letter to Perez

2009-03-29T19:30:00.000-04:00

Dear Perez Hilton,

Don't pretend like it hasn't been on the rocks now for awhile. You and I both know I've been unhappy lately. Then I talked to one of my friends about how I've been feeling, and she completely confirmed my perspective; it seems she has been getting the same vibe.

As of now, I don't even think we should be friends. I need a clean break, so its best if I don't even add you to my Twitter for quick updates. I'm not saying we'll never be able to get coffee and catch up, but honestly, you're going to have to make some changes before I'll even consider visiting your site again.

First up, stop being a woman hater. It's odd to me, since you belong to an oft-maligned and persecuted minority group, that you perpetuate the double-standards and ridiculous ideals of gender roles. I'm tired of you calling Miley Cyrus and Vanessa Hudgens "sluts." Millions of teenage girls experiment with their identity and sexuality and doing so does not make them slutty or bad people; it is simply biology. Moreover, these same girls read your site, and vilifying women's sexuality sends them a bad message. Another instance is the recent affair controversy with Leanne Rimes and that Cibrian dude. You focused almost exclusively on her involvement by calling her a "homewrecker" but he gets no such equal nickname. Am I condoning their behavior? Absolutely not. But you can report it snarkily without getting mean. See, e.g. Dlisted.

Speaking of mean, that's really the bottom line. You're an asshole. I don't like to associate with assholes, and I don't like to support them financially. I can't put my finger on how exactly you do it, but you almost always take that extra step from irreverent blogging to flat-out meanness. I'm southern, and we don't do that down here.

Finally, you need to quit talking about stuff you know nothing about. Specifically this includes legal issues. Trust me. You don't know what the fuck is going on in that department, and your commentary is ignorant. For instance, from what I can tell most celebrities actually get treated worse than their civilian counterparts because of their celebrity status, not better, as you would like to believe. Also, Chris Brown and Rihanna - shut. the fuck. up. Battered women suffer enough without judgmental douchebags weighing in on their every decision. Do I condone Chris Brown's actions? Hell, no. But to call for the end of his career is draconian at best. He made a mistake, but should he make himself a better man, why should we take away his livelihood? And didn't Kobe and R Kelly get accused of equally heinous if not worse offenses? Why so much hate focused on a young man like Chris, who clearly needs help given his home environment? Alls I'm saying is that you are being very quick to judge that situation, and its just not prudent to do so.

In sum, you have just irritated me to a breaking point. I can't take it anymore, so I'm breaking up with you. It was fun while it lasted, but let's be honest, it was never going to last forever.

Take care,
Nik

Kitties R Fun E

2009-03-23T22:56:00.000-04:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

This website is awesome.

Ahhhh Tweet-tweet Tweet-tweet

2009-03-23T21:44:00.002-04:00

I did not intend to do this. I was not going to jump on the Twitter bandwagon. Somehow, though, I ended up reading John Mayer and Taylor Swift's twitterings and it all sort of spiraled downhill.

Also, facebook is on the decline, and I need to be in on the new, "hip" thing, which is apparently Twitter. (Although I suspect the cool kids have come up with something more underground, with less of us square types crowding the room.)

If you're on, follow me! If you're not, come join the party! (Some chik named Alicenn followed me no less than 10 seconds after I signed up. WTF?) (Confidential to Ruby - how crazy we decided to do this on the same day! Great minds, my friend. Great minds.)

This Post is Going to Scare the Daylights Out of Megan...

2009-03-22T22:33:00.000-04:00

...because it's all about Nadal. Sorry, Meggers, but once I started talking about this current tournament, I can't just leave it hanging...especially when RAFA WON. Again.

Highlights of the match and an interview after at the Indian Wells tournament official site. For whatever reason it won't let me embed; perhaps someone sent them a memo? I found this picture at my new favorite site (with girls who either a) love Rafa more than me or b) have more time on their hands):

Thanks for the concern, Megs, but I think I read that you're not an addict until it interferes with your everyday life, you know, like missing work and selling your body for crack. Today I worked and even went to the jail in lieu of coming home to watch the match on the internets for $10. Nevermind that I wrote "Mrs. Niki Nadal" all over my client's folder (dotting the eyes with tiny hearts) and talked all about tennis the entire meeting or that I'm foregoing food for a month and hitchiking to Miami for next week's tournament where I've arranged to stay right next to him. That's totally and completely normal, right? ; ) Right?

Pinky Promise to everyone that the next post, whenever and whatever that may be, will NOT be about Rafa. Probably.

Rafa's New 'Do

2009-03-21T21:39:00.000-04:00

I know, I know. I've missed Rafael Nadal on the blog as well. He has just beaten Andy Roddick to advance to the finals of the BNP Paribas Open out in California. One would think, being that he is the number one tennis player in the world, one could find an abundance of photos, videos, and interviews with him from the tournament. Apparently, that is not so.

Below is a video after the match which advanced him to the semi-finals; he had beaten Juan Martin del Potro. You may notice his hair is a bit shorter - not by much, but enough for a crazy person to discern. He seems tired, and he looks sunburned, but just close your eyes and take in the lovely accent.

Battle Scars

2009-03-15T22:07:00.000-04:00

I count nine separate points of entry. Nine places the teeth punctured my skin.

I was getting ready to go out, and if you've ever lived with me you know this often includes a fair bit of walking around in my underwear. I was in and out of the bathroom - drinking water, eating a birthday cookie I had just baked for J, complaining that I had no cute clothes. About half an hour earlier there had been a mini-meltdown over what to wear on the birthday/St. Patrick's day bar crawl celebration; my line of work has considerably dulled my wardrobe, and I didn't want to be the "old" lady at the pub.

Masala was roaming around getting into trouble, as he is prone to do. I coralled him into the bathroom with me while I dried my hair to give J a little respite from saying "No!" This was my first bad move. While in the bathroom, Masala discovered the trash can. Remember when this happened a couple of months ago? Yeah. I was trying to prevent that.

I had just finished my makeup and was about to begin putting on actual clothes when J announces, "Nik, he's got something!" We all know what that "something" was.

He runs from me as I yell at him to drop it. He takes cover under the table.

I know it is coming. This is his M.O. He maneuvers so that I can't get above him, and he has the better ground. But I have started this, and so I tell myself that I must finish it. Mistake number two.

He growls and snarls when I try to take it from his mouth. I yell, "NO! NO!" which normally causes him to acquiesce.

Not this time. He knows he has me beat. There are a million chairs, and there's no way I am going to get it from him. I don't want him to "win" this way, though, because it will only encourage the behavior. I endure, not wanting to let go until he has calmed down. The final mistake.

I'm not sure if he got more aggressive, if my position changed, or if maybe even I was hurting him. Whatever happened, my left thumb was caught in the crossfire. I didn't know what it would look like when I ran to the sink to rinse it off. Would it be attached? Did I lose part of it?

Thank God J was there. Once I realized my hand was mostly ok and that all digits were accounted for, the tears came harder, the sobbing nearly uncontrollable. I said we had to go to the hospital. J, being ever practical, brought me a shirt at once. I had completely forgotten my state of undress.

"What am I going to do with him? What am I going to do? I can't keep him." I repeated over and over in my head and more than once out loud.

J told me to sit down while he rushed to the pharmacy for hydrogen peroxide and bandages. I tried. I couldn't sit still. I walked around. I googled "dog bite first aid." I took deep breaths. More and more tears. I tried sitting on the floor. When J returned I was sitting on an ottoman in the bedroom pressed against the wall, silently crying.

My hand will be fine. We fixed it up with Band-Aids and Neosporin and determined a trip to the emergency room was probably unnecessary (a trip to the bar, however, was totally required after I composed myself and re-applied makeup). Today it is swollen and bruised, but it appears that full function will eventually return.

My psyche, on the other hand, is profoundly fucked up by this turn of events. I don't like being afraid, yet I am. In the past when he has growled at me I try to regain control as soon as possible afterward by taking something away, just to let myself (and him) know it's ok. Normally, it is. A hundred times a day I take stuff away from him - sticks, plastic, paper, you name it. He only goes postal when it's an animal product - a stray bone on the sidewalk, a butter wrapper, or yeah, a tampon. It makes sense...but why? I've never heard of anyone else having this problem. What am I doing wrong? What did I do to make him this way? How do I fix it? What if I can't? A million and seventeen questions.

And my heart is broken. That sounds ridiculous. He is my best friend in a town where I relate to almost no one; we cuddle on the couch almost every night. But he hurt me. I know he is an animal, and I have anthropomorphized him, so again, this is my fault. He acted like on animal survival instinct, and if I feel betrayed then that is my problem. But I still don't like being afraid of him. It's weird. It's very, very weird how I feel about him now.

He has been nearly perfect since it happened. Sitting immediately upon being told. Sleeping the entire drive back. Performing unerringly on our walks. Yet, I am hesitant. I don't know where to go from here. Surely because he won he will try it again. He will sense my fear, and I'm terrified this is going to become a common struggle.

I am at a loss. I don't know what to do or how to move forward. That's why I wrote this post. I needed to sort some of this out, and it seemed too important not to talk about. But I can't deal with it fully yet, so that's why I've closed the comments. I'm not strong enough to take advice and criticism or weigh all the options. I need rest and recovery and then I'll assess how to respond. For now, I'm just trying to take it moment-to-moment without another confrontation, to let my heart heal as much as I am letting my hand heal. So thanks for reading, if you made it this far in my melodrama. : )

All Good Things Come To An End

2009-03-11T19:57:00.001-04:00

I knew it was too good to be true. I had been in an uninterrupted good mood for almost five days straight, which must be some sort of record for me, and it was bound to come to an end sooner or later. I'm always skeptical when I wake up in high spirits, and today proved the rule.

Things that suck about today:

* My one case took two hours in court. It should have taken twenty minutes. Thank you client.

* My oil change turned into a $700 repair. Thank you universe. Did you see my post yesterday about how I need to SAVE MY MONEY FOR AWESOME TRAVEL ADVENTURE??!! Argh.

* My parents felt bad about the car, offered to buy this suit I've been eyeing, I go to Ann Taylor Loft website to purchase it, and they don't have my size. Oh, and the suit is now 30% off, so you know, just rub some salt in the wound a little.

* Masala had another accident - this time only after he'd been running amok in the house for 4 hours because I'd been so frazzled about my car I forgot to put the gate up. No accident for those 4 hours. Put the gate up for 15 mins so I can pee and change clothes for our walk. Little bastard decides he can no longer hold it. (He's been on this allergy medicine that makes him pee and not control it, but STILL. I know he did it just to spite me because I quit giving him that medicine yesterday, plus, see aforementioned 4 hours without accident. Little shit.)

* I got my period like 3 days early as far as I can remember. W.T.F.

* Did not get to go to kickboxing, as I had been looking forward to, due to unavailability of car which is still in the f-ing shop. Trust me, I could really pretend to punch a lot of things right now.

* Lost is a rerun. What am I supposed to do for entertainment tonight? Twiddle my thumbs? Read a book? Laundry? Pssh. No.

All I have to say is thank goodness for Netflix and wine (oh, and if this wine turns out to be a lemon, somebody is getting a beat down), because without these things. . .I don't even want to think about it.

My Final Answer

2009-03-10T23:27:00.001-04:00

For more than a year I have been promising myself a handsome reward of AWESOME TRAVEL ADVENTURE (ATA) to celebrate/cope with turning thirty in August. The original idea was to finally track down the gorillas in Uganda and Rwanda, something I have been dreaming about for quite some time.

After a little research it became clear that gorilla trekking was not going to be financially feasible right now, so the ATA got put on the backburner until I figured out where the hell I wanted to go that I could afford to go. As the weeks and months inch closer and closer to my birthday, and the demands of family and work pressure me to finalize days off eons in advance, I have been pondering the ATA a lot in recent days.

This morning as I dried my hair and put on my makeup I tumbled around thoughts of Costa Rica, Thailand, or even revisiting Australia. I spent a good 45 minutes looking at various flights and time tables before grabbing my co-worker and hitting the local coffee shop for a break. "I have a dilemma," I whined to co-worker, because clearly this was the most important thing on my plate for the day.

Co-worker, as I had guessed, was totally into helping me solve my crisis. He also has the affliction caused by the bite of the travel bug, so he completely understood, and dare I say, was living vicariously through my own planning. As we strolled back to the office, tea in tow, we discussed Spain-Morocco and oddly enough, Croatia (his sister had been recently, apparently it's the new "hot spot" for beaches - who knew?).

We hit the web as soon as we got back. Cheap flights from various European cities to Marrakesh and Fez. Delicious local food. Vibrant culture. It all seemed to be falling into place. One minute I was totally on the Morocco bandwagon. . .and the next minute I just. couldn't. do it.

I realized that I was psyching myself up for Morocco, that my heart wasn't really in it. I was telling myself to appreciate the consolation prize. That's all well and good, but what the hell? This is my thirtieth birthday celebration. This is a present to myself. I want it to be meaningful. I want it to be special to me. I want it to be the ultimate wish fulfillment. I want it to be gorillas.

And so we stopped. We stopped Morocco and Spain and Gibralter and Casablanca. We shifted course. For the next hour or so we researched the hell out of Uganda, Rwanda, and Kenya until Co-worker needed a lunch break. Then we stopped at my house, grabbed the Lonely Planet: East Africa that's been on my book shelf over a year, and we researched more when we got back.

Uganda, as it turns out, totally kicks ass. They have white-water rafting, kayaking, the most powerful waterfall on earth, and lots of typical safari animals.

It's not going to be cheap; the permit to see the gorillas alone costs $500, with a "good" airfare ringing in at $1,000. I'll probably have to wait another year to save up the money. But it's totally going to be worth it. I'm not going to accept the consolation prize this time. 30 is a big deal. This trip is going to be, too.

Color Quiz

2009-03-07T20:25:00.000-05:00

Niki took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in ..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

On The Bachelor

2009-03-03T22:46:00.001-05:00

I'll come right out and say it: I loathe the concept for The Bachelor entirely. Everything about it makes my skin crawl. I used to think that it would be awesome to finagle my way onto the show and refuse the rose when "The Bachelor" offered it to me - assuming I curried enough favor to win said rose (In fact, I think a chick did this once, and she will forever be my hero.)

SPOILER ALERT: IN CASE ANY OF YOU WATCH THE BACHELOR

But because I read gobs of celebrity trash gossip, I was nearly immediately informed about the driz-ama that happened on last night's episode. Let me tell you guys - it did nothing except make me want to run to abc.com and watch the hell out of it. Unsurprisingly, a very large number of viewers are vowing never to watch again because of the awfulness and "fakeness" of it all. (Say it ain't so! Reality TV isn't real? Or don't a large portion of these same viewers watch The Hills?)

In case you haven't heard, The Bachelor, aka Jason, picked Melissa on the finale. Did the whole proposal song and dance yada, yada, yada. Then on the 6-weeks-later "After the Final Rose" special or whatever, the place they talk about how in love they are and why she won his heart and all that mushy bullshit, he dumps Melissa on national TV and goes begging to the runner-up, Molly. I'm not kidding.

I mean, really, I don't care if this is fake or real, this is TV genius. Ok. So I do care if it's real, because that's a terrible, awful, no-one-deserves-that thing to do to a person, to break up with them on live television (But um, hello, she is clearly going to be the next Bachelorette, so whatever, don't cry too many tears for Melissa). If it's fake, though, WHY HAVEN'T THEY THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE? Of course, now it's been done, so they've got to come up with more twists, but holy hell, this adds a whole dimension of drama the likes of Gossip Girl and 90210. I just might have to give this show a second look.

Oh, who am I kidding, I'm not watching this garbage, but I'm totally watching that last "After the rose" special or whatever. And blogging about it. I have clearly sunk to a new low.

Don't lie, you totally want to watch a clip, too.

The Bachelor After The Rose Special
by TheDlisted

This Has Gone Too Far

2009-02-24T22:29:00.000-05:00

Dear Victoria's Secret,

Have you been reading my blogs? Did you find out that I have an underwear fetish? Do you know that I'm dying for winter to end and warm weather to whisk me away from the cold, harsh reality of February?

Because you keep sending me those damn catalogues and emails with their sales and their bikinis and their pretty, pretty panties and their flowy dresses. And I. Well.

I WANT ALL OF IT. ALL OF IT NOW!!

But did you notice that the economy is in the dumps? That I am a public interest lawyer? That I have already spent one month's disposable income on those damn new "supersoft" Angels underwear that have stolen my heart?

I CANNOT AFFORD YOUR STUFF. No matter how much I want it.

So please. Please. I'm begging you. Stop already. For at least one week? Maybe just one week without tempting me? I can't take it. I don't have the will power. If you don't stop I'll be homeless. A very well-pantied homeless, but homeless nonetheless.

Oooh. But I might also be skinnier because can't afford food due to VS fetish. This might work out after all. Nevermind. Carry on.

Forever yours,
Nik