Friday, November 18, 2005

public service announcement and more bitching

don't go to the doctor if you get a cold. they cannot help you and you will have wasted half an hour if you're lucky, up to 1 or 2 if you're not. i suspected as much, but nevertheless after the onset of my third cold i decided to see the doctor since i was already going to the student health center to pick up a prescription anyway. i thought at least i'd come away with a z-pak or something to cling that would make me feel better. for once and for all.

what i got was advice about feeding babies. seriously. i'm not expecting and don't plan to be, well, ever. but i now know that you should never lay a child down with a bottle because it's ears, nose, and throat passageways are flat instead of slanted and this laying down with a bottle stuff will a) cause more ear infections and b) rot their teeth. so, those of you with children or expecting children or who one day plan to have them, take note.

as for getting rid of a cold, even if it happens to be the third one in as many months, which, by the way, is normal (i'll get to that in a second)? you should just take dayquil and advil. thanks for that. that's what i did for my FIRST TWO colds. well, that's what i should keep on doing. oh, and treat yourself to your favorite soup. again, this is not very helpful to me because at this point i'm basically sick of soup and the thought of it makes me feel like i'd just rather not eat than eat another damn bowl of soup.

according to my doctor we are expected to get 5 colds a year. FIVE. FIVE?! does this seem like a lot to anyone but me? i've never in my life been as sick as often as the past few months and i've never had a cold more than like twice a year. apparently kids in grad school are always getting sick, she's seen it happen so much, because some of them have children who share there germs and then bring it to the rest of us. oh, and i could be getting this funk at the gym from sharing equipment with a hundred strangers. i'm not convinced and i'll tell you why.
a) i've been in law school over a year and i've worked at places where i knew far more people with children and this did not happen last year and did not happen at those places.
b) i've been going to the gym consistently for almost four years, and again, this has not happened before.
c) no one i know is getting it from me. not my friends that i sit next to in class, not my roommate who touches all the nobs and handles in the house that i touch, and not my boyfriend. this shit does not appear to be contagious from me, only to me.

even though doctor was not convinced at my explanations, she did hypothesize that i could be allergic to something because that won't happen until the second or third year in an environment. i'm sorry what? allergies? what could possibly be pollinating in mid-november with freezing temperatures? am i allergic to dead leaves? moreover, what could possibly explain being sick from september to november? quite a difference in weather and other goings on outside.

this brings me back to yesterday's post. based on the aforementioned data, i am left to conclude that either i have mono (which doctor did not seem concerned about/did not mention as a possibility) or i am allergic to cold weather. i've never really been exposed to real cold weather before and if it's true that it takes your body a couple years to develop the allergy, then it all makes sense. now, all i need to do is take a couple claritin-D daily for 4 months and everything should be fine. when it snows, though, i think i'm fucked.

4 comments:

Parm said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Ack! You have the bird flu! Evil turkeys!

(Kidding. I hope. If that is actually the case and you do have the avian flu, I'm sorry and take some Tamiflu.)

Don't you love doctors? When I was in college, my ENT told me that my sinuses were "normal" and that it was "normal" for me to get a sinus infection every month or so. So he kept pumping me with different antibiotics - on average, one round of pills every 10 day or so - for FOUR FRICKIN' MONTHS. I finally went to another doctor, who ordered a CAT scan, and it was discovered that I had been suffering from acute sinusitis for at least 2 years.

So one doctor said, "snort salt water and take these pills" while another took one look at my sinuses and made an appointment to cut me open.

Makes you wonder if we're still close to the era of doctors bleeding patients to rid them of infection.

All kidding and ranting aside, my advice to you is to get a mono test, if you're still dealing with this after another couple of weeks. At least you'll know!

Until then, enjoy your soup.

Anonymous said...

The best part of being sick is everyone giving you their home remedy advice. Last time I sick, we went to see Justin's parents where I was prescribed everything from Robutussin DM to Sundrop (it's an NC soda thing)and vodka to peach schnapps. Actually, the schnapps helped. So I say, be like Bridget Jones. Don't let your life be ruined by a cold. Choose Chaka Kahn. And vodka.

Niki said...

do you think chaka kahn and vodka can take my finals for me? that would kick ass. actually, what would really kick ass is if i could try the peach schnapps remedy while curled up on the couch watching bridget jones.

instead, i sit here, downing dayquil and hot tea trying to understand the past three months of trusts and estates. die, die, why can't i just die?