Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Important News Briefing

1. There are only 19 assassins left, and I'm one of them. No good stories on my part except that I'm spending as little time at school as possible - all I can do is play defense right now because my target is all about some immunity, too.

2. As promised, the weekly TomKat update is that they are still together. Recently they were seen frolicking in Tahiti with Isabella and Connor, Cruise's and Kidman's kids. You can see tiny pictures here. Also check out PITNB from yesterday to see the same photos only larger and with commentary.

Since I'm too boring to write anything creative today, I leave you with Assassins: Tales from the Crypt, Day 14 (Note: Agent Potato is a covert spy/informant for some of the assassins. I don't know Agent Potato, but I do know Agent Orange):

#1
X died at the sock of Y at 1:24 in Hunton Williams Hall. It was by
far my least creepy kill, as I saw him walking down the hall and
dropped all conversation with my friends to chase him on foot. It was
very uneventful, involving no Agent Potatoes, no internet research,
and no stalking. Kinda boring really.

#2
I was killed today at 1:03 leaving class as my assassin was waiting
for me. Even my two formidable body guards could not stop her from
hitting me with the sock.

#3
I adjusted my wig, and moved in on X. As I tapped her with a pink sock
with strawberries on them, I confirmed her identity. ("Kill first, ask
questions later" is my motto.) She didn't even have a wig in her
hands, so it was a complete freebie. I apologized for ending her life
as she handed me the next kill sheet.

#4
yea, X is dead. agent potato spotted him before I even finished
reading your email. no joke. agent potato has some sick skills.

#5
Brutally murdered in the library. And I thought Agent Potato was my friend?.

#6
My target has been sick and hiding from her assassin at home. But
she's back now, and I went right into her classroom in my mandatory
immunity disguise. I saw her heading back to her book bag (perhaps she
had a premonition of danger?) and I feared she had a hair piece of
some kind there, so I threw the strawberries sock at her. Her
classmates looked at us in amazement, since they obviously don't know
there are assassins lurking around their law school armed only with
deadly socks. My target seemed to be very nice and funny, but clearly
not a true killer. As she handed over my next target, she admitted she
hadn't even tried to kill this person yet.

2 comments:

Ben said...

Niki, this may be a lull in the game for you and I trust this doesn't temper you're desire for blood. Remember Omar; he kept in the shadows for long periods of time, you almost forgot he was there, then there it was, that haunting whistle carrying on the breeze, and we knew that the project's Robin Hood was on the way...

Have you named your sock?

Goodluck in the game, and remember, if you're breathing, you're winning.

Parm said...

in full metal jacket, i think they put bars of soap in their socks when they beat that big fellow. perhaps you'd like to take a page from that book?