Today I'm going to focus on what went wrong at the Academy Awards. And I'm not talking about winners and losers here, although Crash as Best Picture is just stupid. I'm not on the Brokeback bandwagon per se, but Crash just doesn't cut - ALL the other nominees were better. The real story, though, as always, was the fashion. Looking on eonline, it appears to me that there were far more fashion don'ts than fashion dos, but they don't have all the photos of all the main stars, so maybe it's just a skewed selection.
For starters, I'd like to talk about Jennifer Aniston:
It's not really that she looks bad or the dress is ugly, it's just that I feel like she could do so much better. The dress is basic black without any kind of risky cut or embellishments and her hair is just fucking boring. Jenn, honey, I've got some curlers and hair pins if you want to borrow them next time.
Jennifer Garner:
I've got a feeling a lot of people will disagree with me on this one - she did just have a baby and the dress kind of hides her bump, but the way it hangs there, so heavy looking, I dunno, not a fan. I remember her looking better on stage during the awards. I think it's the color that's bugging me - there were lots of neutrals there - I think something with more contrast would've looked much better.
The former Mrs. Cruise:
Normally Nicole looks fab on the red carpet at these things, and I actually adore her dress (you can't see the sparkly sparkles very well in this small photo). But her make-up, hair, and paler-than-the-white-dress skin tone is just bleh. Way too monochromatic. Something just seems asymmetrical to me with her hair and the dress, but maybe it's just me because lots of folks voting on eonline said she was hot.
Hilary Swank:
This suffers from the same problems as Aniston in my book - too plain and boring for The freakin Academy Awards! I realize they aren't nominated and maybe don't want to overshadow the others, but dude, spiff it up a little. Also, this dress is ill-fitting - what the hell are those bumps? Her ribs? A hip bone? Definitely a fashion don't, but perhaps Ms. Swank has been taking a page from Nichole Richie's playbook.
Naomi Watts:
Jeff will hate me for this one. The woman is gorgeous, the dress is ridiculous. I like that she was going for something flowy and feminine, but the top and bottom just seem sort of pasted together and not part of a cohesive unit. And that fucking flappy fru-fru shit at the top has GOT to GO. Also, eh with the neutral colors. Pale women really maybe shouldn't wear fleshtones. If you do, go to Mystic Tan first dammit.
Ok, now for the two worst of the worst. I can't decide who is the bigger faux-pas, so maybe the peanut gallery can help me out.
<--Charlize Theron. DUDE. Did she take a bow from the butt of an 80s bridesmaid dress and velcro it to her shoulder? It's a damn shame she did because the lines of the dress are rad and this had the potential of being a stunning look - the shoes people, the SHOES are awesome (note: she did basic black, but at least tried to make it interesting).
Michelle Williams -- A world of NO. Again, I respect what she was going for - (I hope) an earthy, unique look. But the execution just falls on its face. Maybe it would've been ok in another color, but honey, white women should never, ever, EVER where mustard orange-yellow. Let the brown ladies handle that one because we just look shitty. (Although I must say, she perhaps looks better than most - good red lipstick and dark eyes to make her have a face).
What's your vote? Stay tuned later in the week for my fashion dos (as if any of you care, but I'm going to force my favorite down your throat anyway).
Update: Yesterday I had planned on, but forgot, to include J.Lo in my worst dressed.
Yikes. I don't even know where to begin, wait, yes I do. That pea green is atrocious. It should be saved for vegetables, not evening wear. The garmet looks like drapes from an ugly house. And the kicker is the random frilliness stuck on her butt to hide it and her hips but which only accentuates it and makes it look silly. I will say, however, that on any other woman this dress probably looks far, far worse, so big props to J. Lo for doing with it what she can.
6 comments:
Dude, what's your problem with Crash? I thought it was a fantastic film. Granted, I haven't seen Brokeback, but I fear it's suffering from overhype. And I haven't seen any of the others...so I really can't compare. Although I will say the Crash acceptance speech was the worst of the night.
I liked how Jennifer Garner's dress was like, "I'm going to show off my mommy boobs" a la Madonna's Golden Globes dress just after she had Lourdes.
I agree with you on most counts...Michelle Williams dress...I alternately liked it and hated it. I've seen it on both ends of the spectrum on various roundups. I also though Ziyi Zhang looked fabulous with her black top and very cool skirt.
Also, to bring up acceptance speeches, was Reese Witherspoon charming or playing the "aw shucks" Nashville card a little too much? (For the record, I was a little annoyed...)
IM(NS)HO, Crash was a better movie than Munich, and possibly a better movie than Capote. At least on par with it. Despite the hype, I still think that Brokeback Mountain was the best of the nominees that I've seen.
Also, I'd like to say that you know you've been officially sucked in when you notice that Niki copped the "world of no" line from pink is the new blog. But talent borrows while genius steals, so call it an homage.
Finally, as much as it pains me, I concur with your assessment of the dresses of Naomi, Nicole, and Charlize. Beautiful? check. Talented? double check. Fashionable? well, nobody's perfect.
As I haven't seen a movie in. . uh? I have no opinions on winners/losers.
So, we'll just move straight to the fashion. I think you were just too hard to please! you don't want black and you don't like pale/neutral and you didn't like anoyone that tried to be daring with some brilliant color! hmm. ;) While I agree with some points, I thought Nicole's dress was stunning (and it was a biased hem) Jennifer's looked better in some of the other pictures/angles and definitely was showing off the mommy boobs, but in my current state of still having to wear damn maternity pants, count them, yes almost 3 months after given birth, I say more power to the girl for flaunting what she's got to feel good about herself. Personally, I really liked the color of Michelle's dress (granted, I do see your point of the darker sisters being able to do it more justice) but I really didn't like the top. . the way it was cut made her look really weird and disproportionate and I hated the frilly part on it, too. It was just too much weirdness. And the red lipstick?! I don't know, I'm just not a big fan of that kind of brightness on her pale skin. Then again, I don't like the pale/neutral look either where you can't see the lips at all (much like your picture of Charlize) But I will say that there was a close up shot of her (Michelle's) face one time and I was really impressed with how pretty her eyes were and hello LONG lashes.
As for a black that was more show-stopping, I really liked and was impressed with Felicity's dress! I thought it was super hot.
Best Picture - I just thought Crash lacked a certain depth. The themes were very overt and slammed in your face - I get it already, we are all racist. And the film as a whole didn't seem very cohesive - just a bunch of barely interlocking stories of racism. I've seen other movies with varying story lines that just did it better, made it flow more naturally. I didn't think it was terrible by any means; in many ways it was very good. I just don't think it's the best movie of the year. I think Brokeback and Capote were definitely better, but I'll agree Munich is questionable. Haven't seen Good Night and Good Luck, but from what I've heard it's great. Personally, I think Walk the Line was the best of the year, but I'm pretty much alone in that regard - it was just a pleasant and enjoyable movie-going experience for me and everything about it was great. As for Brokeback being overhyped, I think you're right, Ash. I liked it, but didn't love LOVE it - because it's a romance at the end of the day and it's melodramatic and well, we all know how I feel about that. Oddly enough, I think you'd probably really enjoy it.
Now, on to more shallow endeavors -I totally respect Jennifer Garner's flaunting of the mommy boobs, but the rest of the dress doesn't do it for me. As for Nicole Kidman, the dress itself is beautiful, but the way she wore it didn't match the mood of the gown or the event, in my opinion.
Stay tuned for my picks for best dressed - I just spent an hour and a half collecting pictures and I think you'll be surprised at how many I found that I liked! That being said, I've got some studying and working out to do before I get to writing the post, so we'll have to stick with trashing the ugly ones for now ; )
One final note - the "homage" to PITNB was totally inadvertent, but I am so proud that Jeff, of all people, called me out on it.
I, like most everyone else, thought that Michelle Williams' dress was the worst on the red carpet.
I changed my mind, however, when I found this picture of Lauren Hutton. Click on link and scroll a little over halfway down to see Lauren Hutto's homage to Pocahontas. (I am HTML-retarded and don't know how to link to this without just pasting the website below - my apologies.)
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/oscars/index.html
Wow! I saw part of that when Joan Rivers was interviewing her, but didn't get to see the pom-poms or shoes! wow!
Oh yeah, I actually really liked Sandra Bullock's dress. It was regal with a touch of sexy. I love pockets! cool stuff.
Post a Comment