A Bad British Comedy Skit

The following events took place on Saturday, August 12, 2006 in Melbourne Australia. It may seem unbelievable, but this is essentially a verbatim transcript. A metcard is the card you buy to use the tram/train/bus.

store 1
me: do you have metcard here?
employee: no, try the photoshop

me...looking for photoshop, can't find one. try another convenience store.

store 2
me: do you have metcard here?
employee: no. try the photoshop a couple doors down.

still no photoshop, but pharmacy w/photo sign

store 3
me: do you have metcard here?
employee: no. try the photoshop.
me: where is the photoshop?
employee: just a couple doors down.

hurray! found photoshop! is also the internet cafe i've been looking for!

store 4
me: i need to purchase a metcard.
employee: blank stare
me: do you sell metcard here, for the trams?
employee: no. go to the station.

motherfucker! this is bullshit. keep walking and find the real photoshop which is a real photoshop and not just photos in another type of business establishment. signs indicate "metcard sold here" repeatedly. jackpot.

store 5
me: i need to purchase a metcard.
employee: what kind do you need?
me: a weekly concession (student) card.
employee: we...(unintelligible) out of those
me: excuse me?!
employee: we are running out of those. you can get one at the station.

does this mean he has no more or he has some but he's saving them and they aren't for me? whatever. at this point i throw my hands up and resolve to buy one at the station when i take the train to the city that afternoon.

Several Hours Later:
platform 1. automated metcard machine. hurray! except not. is a coin only machine. cannot purchase weekly metcard because do not have $13.30 in coins. duh. purchase 2-hour ticket instead. realize am on wrong platform headed opposite direction from city.

platform 2. automated metcard machine that accepts credit cards! hurray! success! decide to purchase weekly card because will need a new ticket for the return trip anyway.
insert debit card. machine apparently only takes debit cards, not credit cards. machine declines card. american debit card will not work as debit card in australia, will only work as credit card which is not accepted at this bloody machine. suck it up and insert $20 bill into machine. at least have stupid fucking weekly card and do not have to go through this drama again until next week.