If you have ever bowled with me, and many of you have, you know that it is a ripe opportunity for my competitive streak to kick in. Really, though, brushing my teeth can make me competitive, so that's not really saying much. However, you may remember that bowling is one of those times where my desire to win and my skill level are essentially inversely related. In short, I freakin' SUCK at bowling.I know this. I recognize this. Yet I still bowl. More absurdly, I STILL pout and fall into self-loathing when I do not perform well. Also, I curse very loudly and have at times been known to stomp my feet (I know, surprising). Fellow bowlers with higher scores, former friends, become my mortal enemies and hatred takes over.
I'm here to tell you, that all of this may have come to an end. Last night the Libel Show* held their Feb Club** party - The Big "Libelowski" - at the bowling alley. The otherwise useless Student Bar Association rented out the entire alley for free bowling for about three hours.
It all began as usual - pure suckitude. After a somewhat promising 5 pins on my first at bat, I followed it with a stellar four consecutive gutter balls. I was not pleased, and I was not having fun. I contemplated quitting (as I have been known to do when I'm not very good at things). I let someone else take my bowl once.
Then, I turned it around. I decided, if I'm going to suck, I'm going to do it my way, so I tried my left hand. I'll be damned if I can't bowl the hell out of that bowling ball with my left hand!! Right hand - ball goes diagonal, straight to the gutter. Left hand - ball goes perfectly down the middle.
I thought maybe it was a fluke, but I continued the left-handed bowling for the rest of the evening. I think I had a couple more gutter balls, but other than that, pins were consistently knocked down. I even got a strike with my left hand. My score doubled (No, still not a great score, but a vast improvement from my right-hand score).
It seems I may be an unknown lefty bowling prodigy. This of course means that future practice sessions are immediately in order. If I can work this right, I can quit law school and join the Professional Bowling League, or whatever.
The tides are turning people, and I'm glad you're here to be a part of it with me.
*Libel Show - Law School variety show where students perform various skits making fun of profs, fellow students, and various aspects of law school life.
**Feb Club - 28 days in February = 28 themed parties
4 comments:
Nik,
While I am glad to hear of your newfound skillz, I don't think you are WPBA material. I think a mullet, lesbian like tendencies and a last name like Sholendowski are required. Looks like lawyerin' it is!
Lefties rule!!
You should come and join me at work; i often have to take young people out bowling to help with their self esteem (that's my story and i'm sticking to it). We always have the bumpers; i always want them to win, i try and let them win, but somehow that ball makes a b line down the middle and grasps victory from the jaws of defeat for me and turns hope into despair for my young progedies.
I also bowl left handed.
So play against someone you really want to win; maybe the just got dumped, maybe they had a bad childhood, maybe they just a limb taken off; anywho, just watch those pins hit the deck.
I must try this left-handed strategy. . . every time I go bowling (not often at all), I start out thinking, "This will be fun" and end up pissed about how awful I am at it. Next time, I'm totally following your example.
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