Guest Blogging

A couple days ago, Amber volunteered to be interviewed, and since she doesn't have a blog of her own I'm posting her interview here (fellow volunteer Andi - whose interview can be seen here).

1. What's your favorite story from Spring Break '07 (one way road to heaven...)?
I so need the “Captain’s Log” on this question. (In the chance someone other than Niki actually reads my answers – the “Captain’s Log” is a book that contains tidbits from our Spring Break extravaganza. It should currently be in a safe place.) I’m going to have to go with the obvious in my book; James the Ericanautical Engineer. (Spelled the way he pronounced it.)

His obsession with Casper’s 13” penis was disturbing, but he takes the cake with his infamous pickup line: “I won two awards in high school. Most people are lucky enough to win one award, but me, I won two. One for Most Comical and Best Lovemaker.”

Jessica and I together: “Don’t you mean Most Comical Lovemaker?”

I mean that’s classic.

(Nik's Note: You should imagine James with a very thick Yankee accent. This conversation occurred sometime between 1am and 3am across booths at the local Denny's. All parties except Jessica heavily intoxicated. If I remember correctly, Casper was not happy when I stole a french fry.)

2. You have been kidnapped by The Others and taken to the Lost island. They have tied you up in a cave. The Survivors are eager to rescue you because they've heard about your hotness. Who rescues you and how do they do it?
Spoiler Alert: if you haven’t seen the latest Lost episode—I may spoil some of it for you. I will try my hardest to censor myself here and keep this at least Rated R. I think I have to go with Sayid. He learns about me and my red hair and blinding paleness. He is intrigued by my recessive genes because I am so very different from him. Eager to rescue me, he plans to kidnap Ben and torture him until he reveals my location. Upon sneaking up on Ben, he gets a surprise, as Juliet is with him. (Yes that lying bitch managed to escape getting killed after Sawyer rats her out.) He quickly kills Juliet, proving to Ben that he is serious. (YES!)

He’ll make some sarcastic comment about Ben not knowing everything about him because there are parts in his file missing. There will be a close up on Ben at that point with sweat on his brow. Sayid will begin calmly and coolly to torture Ben in some twisted way. I know it’s wrong—but that is hot to me. He finds out where I am and rescues me. He is gentle and kind with his words, letting me know that all is okay. Some of the Others are on his tail, so he gives me a map to a hiding place nearby. He tells me to run there and wait for him.

Now adding to your scenario, I was in a cave behind a waterfall. As the Others approach, he grabs me and says, “I will find you. No matter how far or how long, I will find you.” He somehow gets away from the Others, he does find me, and it is now I censor myself. (I know this is lame, but let’s be honest, we both know I’m thinking about what happens at the hiding place.)

(Nik's Note: Ok, if you get Sayid, that means I get both Desmond AND Sawyer all to myself. Sweet! Sigh...Sayid is so hot, though. Nice choice.)

3. You and Will Farrell are starring in a movie together. What's it about?
Oh my gosh—this is the best question ever. This would be my dream come true, yet I’m nervous to choose just one idea. I originally fell in love with him while he was Craig the cheerleader on SNL. Would I gladly be his new partner? Yes, but that’s not what I choose. Other ideas I have are to be his partner in an “Amazing Race”/reality race type idea. Maybe I’d go with my recent obsession – Wallyball. But I think to make it personal to me, I’d be in a movie with him where we are battling TV evangelists. Of course, at some point we’d have to be in a dance off. I mean what good is a movie without a dance off? Eventually, we’d fall in love and have the flabbiest babies ever.

4. Quick. Write down the first five things that come to your mind when I say: Pogo Stick
Libel Show Circus skit
Busting my face open
Wieners
Pink shoe laces
Biting my tongue

(Nik's Note: Pink shoe laces. Perfection.)

5. When you lived in NYC this past summer, did locals make fun of you for anything? And if they didn't, what should they have made fun of you for?
I don’t recall anyone making fun of me, but I’m sure they did. So . . . what should they have made fun of me for? That’s easy – the music on my iPod. I notoriously listen to horrible pop music from the 80s, 90s, and today. Hell—I’m embarrassed of some of the songs on my iPod. I just can’t help it though – Phil Collins fills my life with joy. I mean if you disagree, you must not have two ears and a heart. (That one is for you Nik!)

(Nik's Note: How is it possible that I'm friends with someone who likes Phil Collins?)