Happy Halloween!

This is literally the first year that I've had real trick-or-treaters. My parents always lived too far away from the road for anyone to come to our house. Other than that I've lived in apartment complexes which didn't really have kids. I have vascillated between excited and annoyed for the past week.

Now the time has come, and I thought I'd do a little "live blogging" to entertain you. Except that no one is really checking for updates every 10 minutes, so I'll just write it all as it comes, the do one post at the end.

7:25pm - Trick-or-treating has been going strong for about a half hour. Highlights so far:

"Why are you here? Where's your daddy?" said the three-year old Snow White.

Someone left a piece of candy on my porch - but it's crappy, so that's not so exciting. I had contemplated asking treaters if they'd like to trade some of their candy for a piece of mine...but I suppose that's not really how Halloween works.

Kids so far are actually requesting the Snickers. I've got Smarties, Reese's, Snickers, and Mini Oreo packs. I thought for sure they'd want the Oreos, but not so much. And I think I'm the only person on the planet who likes Smarties...but they're good filler.

7:29pm - Sometimes kids are ringing the doorbell twice. Like if I don't appear in a nano-second, they get impatient. Kids. Also, I'm hungry. How am I suppose to eat during this nonsense?

7:37pm - I just gave a piece of candy to 21-year old in creepy face paint. He wasn't trick/treating, just following his younger buddies around, but I noticed him in the background and invited him to choose a piece of candy. Some people think there's an age limit for Halloween, but I say screw that. Once in high school my friend Heather and I dressed up in our dance team outfits and went trick/treating. I remember some of the looks we got...and I vowed never to be those people.

7:40pm - The family that just came to the door was totally pimping out their infant kid. The kid was sucking on a pacifier and had NO CLUE what the hell was going on. Meanwhile, Mom, Dad, and the two teenaged siblings in the background were all into that candy sack. Awesome.

7:47pm - I'm noticing that some putz is giving out mini bags of pretzels. I can't decide if I love or hate this. I mean, I totally dig pretzels (and peanut butter - holla Red!), but do little kiddies want pretzels or do they want a sugar high?

7:50pm - What time does trick/treating end? When can I get to my daily evening Grey's Anatomy watching? Oh, and I totally just called a kid a gator and he was all, "I'm a dragon." Whoops. I'm that adult.

7:53pm - This forty-ish old lady was dressed up as Elvira and I kid you not, her tits were gigant-o and about to fall. out. of. her. top.

7:58pm - Seriously kids. Do not crowd me. Fat kid - I specifically gave you the candy last because you were so mean to the other kids. Don't do that. Oh, and for the love of God, do not ring my door bell 18 times. Ya'll get slighted if you do that.

8:26pm - The surliest 10 year old of all time just trick/treated me. It's late and there's not many kids out anymore, so I let him pick. He just picked one thing, then stalked off. He was so not happy. Poor thing. I hope he doesn't grow up to be a scrooge (or one of my clients...).

8:41pm - Ok, I'm closing up shop. Hardly any kids in the last half hour, plus my computer is running out of juice and I'm too lazy to find the charger just now.

Hope everyone had a safe and Merry Halloween!

P.S. Is that Masala's winter coat or is he getting fat? Crap. I do not want a fat dog.