# 17 NBPM - Not So Spicy

Remember when the Spice Girls used to look like this:

Not that they look fabulous or anything, but it was their schtick - each girl dressed according to her own spice, her own "look." They didn't wear real clothes, they wore Halloween costumes.

Now that they have reunited, they have abandoned the gimmick that kind of made "zigga-zig-ah" work.

Exhibit 1: Press photo

Ok, so Slutty, er Sexy, er Ginger Spice is sort of plying her trade, but what's with the rest of them? Why are they all wearing black? It looks like they're getting ready for a funeral. Where's the color and the spunk and the silly? We get that you're older and more mature now, but if you weren't going to act like the Spice Girls even a little bit, what's the point?

Exhibit 2: Still from recent performance

I'm going to arbitrarily start with the shoes but I could have started with, well, anything. In the o.g. Spice photo, they're wearing fake shoes. Nobody wore shoes like that for real back in the day (ok, so I DID buy a pair of Union Jack Doc Maarten knock offs once, but I only wore them like twice). The shoes were part of the Spice factor. Now they are wearing shoes that I could totally wear to work. In the courtroom.

Again with the black/white/gray color palette. Sn--ooze.

And the Navy theme and the stupid hats? NO. Not even almost Spicy. Maybe if one of them wore one and they tried to be like the Spice Village People, may-be. But this is so not working for them.

They look lovely, I'll sort of admit, but not Spicy. I want more. I want outrageous. I want "WTF what do they have on?" I don't want a tame version of Dita Von Teese.

I leave you with this, which could also be part of Questions I Ponder: Does Victoria Beckham know how to stand like a real person or just a mannequin?