Tuesday, January 15, 2008

More on Katie Holmes

Ok, I'll cop to a little bit of obsession about this. What in the hell has happened to Katie Holmes? She used to be my adorable, if not insanely-annoyingly-neurotic Joey Potter. She used to be fresh-faced, beautiful, and vibrant. She used to look and act her age. She used to be this gorgeous young woman we saw three years ago on David Letterman:






Now she's 29 years old, mother of a toddler, and wife to Tom Cruise-azy. She honestly looks 40 years old to me. Her haircut is so severe and Anna Wintour-esque that I just can't take it. I want to reach into the computer screen and mess it all up. Her clothes should be worn by a fashionable woman in her 40s or 50s, not a young mother just under 30.
As if the superficial evidence weren't bad enough, please witness her latest interview with Mr. Letterman, just last night:







Seriously people. I realize that marriage and motherhood makes you mature a little bit, but damn. I have friends that are married and have babies, and ya'll are still the fun-loving, spirited people I knew before then. Sure, a person will have somewhat different priorities than before marriage and baby, and you might wear somewhat different clothes (usually because of figure or comfort issues, though, not personality ones) and maybe she will talk about kids more with other people...but that stuff doesn't just deflate your entire personality and eliminate all joie de vivre in your step. And really. I hate that white dress.

Katie...well, the two Katies in these videos seem more like 10 to 20 years apart rather than just 3. I can't help it - she just doesn't seem like the fun, flirty, beautiful girl she used to be. She's more like stupid, boring old Posh Spice who doesn't smile. I don't know whether it's the Scientologists or the Beckhams or that she's just severely depressed at being stuck married to Cruise, but whatever it is, I hope we get old Katie back...before it's too late. (For more evidence of Katie's bizarre transformation, please see this video from Regis and Kelly that also aired yesterday).

(In case you're wondering, Anna Wintour looks like this, and she's almost 60 years old)






UPDATE: You must watch this video of Tom Cruise talking about Scientology. I'm not sure how long the link will be active. Several other hosts have taken it down due to copyright threats from The Church of Scientology. Gawker claims to be keeping it up...but you never know how long that will last.

4 comments:

jenn said...

This is what marrying Tom Cruise will do to you. Aren't you glad that your dreams of being with Tom never came true? :)

ashley said...

I concur. She's so robotic now. And did you hear that she called Suri an amazing woman? She's not even two, is she?

tempe & chris said...

That video of Tom Cruise is pretty damn creepy. I don't understand half of what he's saying, but he's just...creepy. He sort of reminds me of his motivational speaker character from magnolia, except this is real...

Andria said...

Other than the bad haircut, I don't think she's gone that crazy. I think that dress was so short, she had to sit very still or risk flashing everyone. And I thought the first video was almost painfully awkward and embarrassing, not endearinly quirky. I still see some of her traits and think she's just more composed now. Or maybe I'm just trying not to feel too old myself, I don't know.

Either way, though, there is NO denying Tom's mental state.
Once you see the Cruise-azy video, go watch this one by Jerry O'Connell. It's pretty dang funny and spot on.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3f716ffebe