Q: What's your biggest fear? And I don't mean the "I'm afraid of spiders" kind of fear, but the core fears. . . the kind where people say they are most afraid of not making the most of their lives, ending up alone, not being taken seriously, etc.
(Jenn)
A: Missing out/Regret
I'm not quite sure how to articulate my biggest fear. It's in the family of "not making the most of my life," like Jenn suggested, but mainly it's this: I don't want to be 85 and wish I had done X instead of Y, or wishing I had taken advantage of a certain opportunity. If something interesting is going on, I want to be a part of it.
Of course, the power rests with me alone to make sure this is not a self-fulfilling prophecy. The problem is that I want to do SO much, that sometimes I have to make sacrifices between two great choices. This is where Regret comes in. I can be notoriously indecisive; the flipside however, is that once I've finally decided, I pretty much go after it all-out, and I try really hard not to look back, not to say "coulda, shoulda, woulda."
Oh, and I'm terribly afraid of dying in a plane crash (this is my one and only recurring anxiety dream, and it has taken several different manifestations). I fly because I have to, and the kid inside me loves it - loves watching the scene outside the window - but I'm extremely relieved when we land safely and I've survived to crash another day.
2 comments:
i think it's good to articulate our fears so we can guard against them from happening... at least the ones we can control. it won't come as a shock, the progress of life and all that. i always had this fear that i would never write again after graduate school. i'm still 50/50 on that one.
Thanks for sharing, Nik. I don't think you have to worry about regrets--you always seem to go for things, and I love that about you!
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