Dear Victoria's Secret,
Have you been reading my blogs? Did you find out that I have an underwear fetish? Do you know that I'm dying for winter to end and warm weather to whisk me away from the cold, harsh reality of February?
Because you keep sending me those damn catalogues and emails with their sales and their bikinis and their pretty, pretty panties and their flowy dresses. And I. Well.
I WANT ALL OF IT. ALL OF IT NOW!!
But did you notice that the economy is in the dumps? That I am a public interest lawyer? That I have already spent one month's disposable income on those damn new "supersoft" Angels underwear that have stolen my heart?
I CANNOT AFFORD YOUR STUFF. No matter how much I want it.
So please. Please. I'm begging you. Stop already. For at least one week? Maybe just one week without tempting me? I can't take it. I don't have the will power. If you don't stop I'll be homeless. A very well-pantied homeless, but homeless nonetheless.
Oooh. But I might also be skinnier because can't afford food due to VS fetish. This might work out after all. Nevermind. Carry on.
Forever yours,
Nik
2 comments:
VS is relentless! Catalog after catalog! Luckily, they haven't found me at this address--yet.
I also have a love for pretty panties and think there is little that is more exciting than buying a new pair. I have more underwear than one person could ever need.
Catalogs can be cruel. I had to take my name off of a lot of mailing lists because they are so evil. They are either dangerously tempting, which is not good for my budget, or I just look at them and never buy anything, which is a little depressing.
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