- Why do I have this assanine head cold? There's an allotment of these things, and I already got mine about a month ago. Thanks for thinking of me again, but really, we had a nice visit the first time: GO AWAY! I will see you again next year.
- Charlottesville does not believe in merging lanes. There are the merging lanes that don't exist, where the ramp ends with an abrupt yield sign. Then there are the merging lanes that are about 10 feet long, just barely giving you enough time to get up to speed, but not giving anyone on the road advanced notice that you are there, could you please speed up, slow down, or get the hell over. And then, there are the simultaneous merge/exit lanes. I kid you not. The on-ramp merge lane just goes right on to the next exit, about 100 yards away, and so the exiters and mergers play a nice little game of bumper cars to see who goes where. I honestly am not sure how I have survived this long under these conditions.
- Seriously. What the hell is up with my cell phone? I have 5 bars of service. I dial phone number. Immediately, all bars disappear and the call won't go through. Hang up. Bars reappear! like magic! Try call again. Bars vanish. And so it goes. Hate. HATE.
- "Step up to the plate." They said this no less than 12 times on the Apprentice tonight. Technically, perhaps I shouldn't rant about it because it simultaneously annoys and amuses me, but really. "Think outside the box" people. (another Apprentice classic)
Thanks for listening. I feel a little relieved to have gotten some of this off my chest. Will now go to sleep hoping tomorrow will be better.
P.S. Happy Birthday Tempe - I hope your day was 100x better than mine!
1 comment:
Thank you for the birthday wishes! Had way too much fun last night for someone that had to be at work a 7 AM today...
Along the same lines as irritating catch-phrases from "The Apprentice," my office is notorious for using stupid corporate lingo in place of actual layman's terms. They talk like people from those stupid IBM commercials instead of using words that REAL people use.
Examples:
In a staff meeting, when two people begin a conversation that is too detailed or specialized for the entire group, the boss will say, "Let's talk about this later offline." What the hell is that? Why don't you just say, "You know, no one else at this table cares what we're talking about, so we'll talk later, ok?"
Another example: When someone screws up in this office, it's inevitable that a supervisor will use the following two words to start the impending critique: "GOING FORWARD, I'd appreciate if you wouldn't photocopy your butt during office hours/pick your teeth at the boardroom table/call 1-900 numbers from the company phones/come in drunk."
I hate those words - "going forward." Why don't you just say, "Don't ever pull that shit again or I'll fire your ass." I've been tempted to fire back after being on the receiving end of a "going forward" - "Going Forward, F--K you!!"
Now that's forward progress. But let's talk about it offline later.
Post a Comment