y tu diego?

do not laugh. i have just spent 20 minutes watching dirty dancing: havana nights. i told you not to laugh. there was nothing else on and i hate eating lunch in silence. i hope i do not spoil anyone's illusions but this movie is awful. the worst part about it is that diego luna is the patrick swayze this time (although not really because patrick makes his own appearance in the "film" as a dance instructor). you may or may not remember diego from y tu mama tambien - the really sexy and excellent mexican movie from a few years ago. perhaps it's because it's in english or perhaps it's because he can't dance or perhaps it's just because the script Sucks, but if not for imdb you would likely not make the connection of the actor between the two movies.

there is absolutely zero chemistry between him and the lead - an actress from england who is basically a nobody. and instead of trying to do a spin-off of sorts, they basically are re-hashing the old story in a new setting with different actors, to the nth degree. the dirty dancing sequel is complete with the same stiff arm poses, the same close-up of the same hip movements, the same silliness in the water (although thankfully, no lift) and the same montage of "baby" waltzing around by herself. as far as i can tell there is no abortion side plot, but something serious is going down right now - she didn't want to screw up her dad's job - i can't quite put it together, i came in late, but the acting is so terrible that even if i knew, i don't think i'd care.

in some ways dirty dancing: havana nights is everything that is wrong with hollywood these days. a needless sequel, no originality, a pretty pre-packaged bow with the predictable plot movements they producers think the dumbed-down american wants. was the first dirty dancing just the same? if i had been an adult during the 80s would i have turned my nose up at it, too? i don't know - but at least it had heart and cheesy, yet awesome, lines like, "nobody puts baby in a corner." (i wouldn't be surprised if the sequel lifts that one, too.) and at least when jennifer grey and patrick swayze danced you actually thought they had a thing going, and it was a little bit tantalizing. with these two putzes it may as well be two first graders at the school pageant.

excuse me, i think the final dance scene is on. it's either that or evidence...i gotta go.

addendum - GAH! she's wearing the same fucking dress that jennifer grey wore - with the twirly bottom!! (except strapless) and they are doing the same shots of her mother being happy and enjoying it but her father fuming. is this an homage or a ripoff? hold on a sec, there's someone with a gun in the dance hall, perhaps i spoke too soon...