My New Favorite Sport

For those of you that don't know, the unofficial official sport of Australia is Australian Rules Football, or Aussie Rules. The people are MAD about it. Lucky for me, Melbourne is the center of all that madness. There are something like 18 or 20 teams (I don't really know) in the Australian Football League, and I've heard numbers from between 8 and 10 of those teams are located in Melbourne - it's almost as if every suburb of Melbourne gets its own team. In fact, Melbourne used to have all the teams, but at some point the league expanded to join the rest of Oz in the madness.

Aussie Rules is like no other game I've ever seen before, yet has elements of tons of sports. It's played on a field like a cricket pitch, has goal posts similar to American football, the players toss the ball like in rugby, dribble like in basketball, and kick the ball like soccer. My American friend Debbie jokingly said the game is "undignified," and I'm afraid she is correct. But that doesn't mean it isn't fun as hell.

Basically the game is boys beating each other up - with very few rules that I can discern - in order to get the ball and put it through their goal posts. Instead of two posts like American football, there are four. If you get it through the middle two, you get 6 points; if you hit the two middle posts, you get 1 point; and if you hit it between the middle and outer post you get 1 point. Perhaps an illustration is helpful here:

The regular season is almost over, but last weekend in Melbourne the postseason play began. Unlike sports in the US for which tickets like this are unattainable, we were able to get tickets the day before. My student ticket was a mere $33AUD (= $25US)! It was Melbourne Demons v. St. Kilda Saints. Not only was this a finals game, so it was important, but St. Kilda is basically in Melbourne, so it was a big rivalry. I chose the Demons over the Saints to cheer for because, well, they are more fun and their logo was better. (Aside: Do you think this will be factored in on my Judgment Day?)

Our seats were at one of the goal post ends of the arena (for the love of God, do not call it the endzone. I did that yesterday and an Australian heard me and almost beat me up. He said, "don't ever let me hear you say that again!"). Although it was difficult to see the other end, it didn't really matter to me because for the first half of the game I was just trying to figure out what the fuck everyone was doing on the field. It was a madhouse and the ball can sometimes be difficult to follow.

By luck of the draw we'd ended up sitting in a mostly pro-Melbourne section, so for most of the first part of the game I took my cues of what was good or bad from the people around me. To my right was a family of four - Mom, Dad, and two girls. The 10-year-old sat right next to me complete with facepaint, Melbourne jersey, and a passion for the game reminiscent of me at 10 cheering for the Florida Gators. She was adorable. She was very excited to learn that I was cheering for the Demons, and when she realized it was my first game she told me that I MUST buy a Demons jumper (jumper = sweatshirt).

During the first half of the game when Melbourne was getting stomped by St. Kilda, the little girl informed me that normally they are better but one of their best players has an ankle injury. I asked her favorite player and she said, "Aaron Davey. He's aboriginal." And then she pointed to him. Near the end of the game she asked who was my favorite player and I said, "I don't know. I think I'll just take yours. He seems pretty good." Upon further inspection on the internet when I got home, I realized I'd made a damn fine choice. Ladies, exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

(Oh, and also he has a really good story like at first he wasn’t even picked in the draft but then some people helped him out and now he’s one of the star players on the team.) This brings me to another point about the game. Last night I watched a semi-final match on tv and came to understand that the short shorts and sleeveless tops are not ridiculous as my first impression had deemed them to be. No, No, No, no no. I imagine that somewhere along the line it has something to do with comfort and ease of play, but really, some marketing genius has understood that showing off these fit legs and arms is a REALLY GOOD thing. Why else the sleeveless top?? If American football players can wear pads and sleeves then surely a regular t-shirt can’t be that prohibitive.

But I digress. Near the end of the 3rd quarter St. Kilda looked poised to take the game and proceed to the next round of finals rather easily. However, Melbourne was having none of that. They staged an incredible comeback and in the middle of the 4th quarter took the lead. There was some back and forth trading of goals and at that moment our seats were the best in the house because the most important action for our team was right there. The crowd was so enthusiastic it was infectious. I found myself cheering and hoping as if I’d been a fan my entire life.

As soon as Melbourne scored the goal that secured the win, my new friend turned to me and said, “See. I told you they were really good.” She was right, and now I actually may get that jumper she was going on about.