Mirror, Mirror

This week's installment of Happy Yoga presented an interesting "inner yoga" exercise:

Think about someone in your life who pushes all your buttons. What are the qualities in this person that you don't like at all? Make a list.

Look over your list. Do you notice any of these qualities in yourself? If not, put the list away and look at it again in a couple of hours. Happy Yoga: 7 Reasons There's Nothing to Worry About, Steve Ross, p53.

A simple, not-rocket-science revelation, but an important one nonetheless. I'm not sure what others get out of this exercise, but for me, I shared a lot of the same qualities. This made me think: Do we not like others when we see our own bad traits reflected back at us from them? A lot of times, I think the answer is yes, and those times the answer is no, more often than not it's because they aren't doing things the "right" way, the way we think is best.

The book has this to say about relating to others:

If you want to be happy, the best thing you can do is thank, forgive, and consciously love [everyone] for being themselves. By not blaming them, but accepting them exactly as they are, you will begin to see that what was bothering you about them was really. . .you. Don't cling to your negativity; let it go. p52

Once again, I am reminded that there is no one to blame for being unhappy except me. Even when external circumstances don't always act as I would like them to, an angry, frustrated, disappointed, or other negative emotion is just a reaction. External forces, I can't control. My reaction, I can.