Today I received some spam in my "Bulk" folder and thought nothing of deleting it straight away. About a milisecond after clicking the delete button it registered what the subject line had said: Penis Launcher. I really hope that person spams me again because I can't wait to open it up and see what I can see. Until then, here are some ideas I have:
* Instead of bombing our enemies with the traditional method of gunpowder, shrapnel, and who knows what else, we will now begin using penises. The results here are twofold: People will not only be grossed out beyond belief (and some may have religious reactions to be pummeled with, what i presume are large, phallic objects), but men will be doubly scared because being bombed with penises begs the questions from whence did these peni come and is mine at risk next?
* Having trouble finding the hole? Fret no more. Penis Launcher puts a homing device on your little man and makes sure he hits the target. However, after penis launcher gets you going, you're on your own to finish the job.
* Remember that scene from Robin Hood (the one with Kevin Costner) where Christian Slater and someone else sit into this big see-saw spoon-shaped thing and are propelled over the wall to battle the peeps on the other side? I'm imagining that, but with a penis. hee. hee hee. hee.
* Perhaps a penis launcher is used for men whose significant others just can't get enough. When penis-man is too tired and just ready to go to bed (maybe he's got a headache), the penis launcher is like lift-off of a space ship and allows the penis to function while man sits idly by, sleeping, twiddling thumbs, or gaping in amazement. Works better than a dildo because batteries (presumably) are not required.
*??? i'm all out of steam. it's late, been a long day, and daylight savings is kicking my ass. I'll add more if i think of 'em, but do ya'll have any good ideas?
4 comments:
i'm envisioning a new form of space travel: once the astronaut is already in zero gravity, let's say he has to maneuver about the ship, or even outside the ship, to make repairs and such. now, he can use the Penis Launcher to navigate more effectively. basically, the device operates using newton's third law of motion and bears a strong resemblance to keira knightly in a bikini.
i'm so confused by that comment, but it's still fucking funny.
Yeah, I'm not sure I understand where Kiera knightly in a bikini plays into the penis launcher shape, but maybe I'm naive and lack imagination.
I am highly intrigued by the mysterious removed comment!
I don't have anything of my own to add other than, you mean the scene where afterwords my hottie says, "f*ck me, they cleared it?!" great line. sad that it came back to me.
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