Somewhere along the way of practicing yoga and dipping my toe into Buddhism I picked up a tip to help quiet the mind while trying to meditate: Picture yourself sitting at the bottom of the ocean, where everything is still, and the waves and turmoil are all above you, on the surface.
The metaphor, of course, is that our thoughts and emotions can swirl around us but at the core we can remain peaceful. I've always found it a particularly helpful exercise, perhaps because I am so drawn to the ocean anyway, and I find myself coming back to it sometimes in the middle of a hectic day when I pause to take a couple of breaths.
Today I feel quite literally like sitting on the ocean floor, except the couch is my sand and the current around me is everything I have to do, emotions I'm trying to avoid, thoughts too difficult to deal with. As long as I sit here and remain still, everything is fine. But the moment I get up the peace is gone and stress descends.
I'm not quite sure what to do. I try to live by the motto, "ride the wave," and right now the wave is crushing me, holding me under, like what my dad used to call "rolling" me, when you can't find the surface and the tide somersaults you and for a brief couple of seconds you think you might really drown. I'm trying to remind myself that I never drown. I always find air, and my feet always right themselves, and I am free to swim to shore or continue playing in the surf.
Just yesterday I told a friend that very early on in my life I began writing my own rules and forging my own path. I don't regret that, nor do I plan to stop doing it. Sometimes, though, it just feels so hard. Sometimes I just wish I could follow the steps that seem to work for everyone else instead of breaking my own ground. But I know my truth, and to ignore that would bring me more unhappiness than the pain and loneliness of making my own way.
So after I publish this post, I'm going to get up off the couch and jump into the current, because the peace here is false and if I don't fight for air, then I have succumbed to the wave instead of riding it. It's not time for riding and floating. It's time to paddle and duck dive. Hard work and patience. Another good set will come.
Showing posts with label nik's nonsense. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nik's nonsense. Show all posts
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
WTF was I thinking?
Ya'll. This re-studying for the bar exam thing, three and a half years after I already passed it once...worst.idea.ever.
I've been half-assing it for a couple of weeks, but now it's almost crunch time, and I'm starting to slightly panic.
To make it worse, work and personal life haven't really been helping matters. And the weather? BOO.
But today I got my "ticket" in the mail. I'm definitely taking it in Austin, which is a huge relief. More importantly, I'm now kind of excited. I get to buy a plane ticket. I have to start thinking logistics.
Shit's gettin' real.
And I like it.
I've been half-assing it for a couple of weeks, but now it's almost crunch time, and I'm starting to slightly panic.
To make it worse, work and personal life haven't really been helping matters. And the weather? BOO.
But today I got my "ticket" in the mail. I'm definitely taking it in Austin, which is a huge relief. More importantly, I'm now kind of excited. I get to buy a plane ticket. I have to start thinking logistics.
Shit's gettin' real.
And I like it.
Monday, November 30, 2009
I miss...
* Australia
* Oreo cookies and milk
* Summer
* Holding his hand
* Traveling
* Roommates that make me laugh and laugh and laugh
* No responsibility
* You. Yes, you.
* Being bad
* Sleeping in
* October Road
* A mouse-free house
* Indian food
* Warm feet (see above, Summer)
* Oreo cookies and milk
* Summer
* Holding his hand
* Traveling
* Roommates that make me laugh and laugh and laugh
* No responsibility
* You. Yes, you.
* Being bad
* Sleeping in
* October Road
* A mouse-free house
* Indian food
* Warm feet (see above, Summer)
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Mirror, Mirror
This week's installment of Happy Yoga presented an interesting "inner yoga" exercise:
Think about someone in your life who pushes all your buttons. What are the qualities in this person that you don't like at all? Make a list.
Look over your list. Do you notice any of these qualities in yourself? If not, put the list away and look at it again in a couple of hours. Happy Yoga: 7 Reasons There's Nothing to Worry About, Steve Ross, p53.
A simple, not-rocket-science revelation, but an important one nonetheless. I'm not sure what others get out of this exercise, but for me, I shared a lot of the same qualities. This made me think: Do we not like others when we see our own bad traits reflected back at us from them? A lot of times, I think the answer is yes, and those times the answer is no, more often than not it's because they aren't doing things the "right" way, the way we think is best.
The book has this to say about relating to others:
If you want to be happy, the best thing you can do is thank, forgive, and consciously love [everyone] for being themselves. By not blaming them, but accepting them exactly as they are, you will begin to see that what was bothering you about them was really. . .you. Don't cling to your negativity; let it go. p52
Once again, I am reminded that there is no one to blame for being unhappy except me. Even when external circumstances don't always act as I would like them to, an angry, frustrated, disappointed, or other negative emotion is just a reaction. External forces, I can't control. My reaction, I can.
Think about someone in your life who pushes all your buttons. What are the qualities in this person that you don't like at all? Make a list.
Look over your list. Do you notice any of these qualities in yourself? If not, put the list away and look at it again in a couple of hours. Happy Yoga: 7 Reasons There's Nothing to Worry About, Steve Ross, p53.
A simple, not-rocket-science revelation, but an important one nonetheless. I'm not sure what others get out of this exercise, but for me, I shared a lot of the same qualities. This made me think: Do we not like others when we see our own bad traits reflected back at us from them? A lot of times, I think the answer is yes, and those times the answer is no, more often than not it's because they aren't doing things the "right" way, the way we think is best.
The book has this to say about relating to others:
If you want to be happy, the best thing you can do is thank, forgive, and consciously love [everyone] for being themselves. By not blaming them, but accepting them exactly as they are, you will begin to see that what was bothering you about them was really. . .you. Don't cling to your negativity; let it go. p52
Once again, I am reminded that there is no one to blame for being unhappy except me. Even when external circumstances don't always act as I would like them to, an angry, frustrated, disappointed, or other negative emotion is just a reaction. External forces, I can't control. My reaction, I can.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
The October Experiment
On September 25th, 2009 I checked my bank account to ensure I had sufficient funds to go to Busch Gardens "Howl-o-Scream" with friends on Saturday. Well, technically I did, but realistically, I sooooo did not. It turns out my adventures at the US Open, which returned magnificent emotional dividends, had the somewhat reverse effect on finances. I didn't get paid until September 30th, so let's just say the next five/six days were, um, frugal. And by frugal I mean I ate stale cereal, eggs, and toast for almost every meal because my bank account exhausted itself around the same time as my pantry/refrigerator.
So I get paid. Then I do something really, really stupid. I buy a plane ticket to Florida for Halloween weekend. SHUT. UP. It had to be done, and I don't want to hear another chastising word about it; my mother has done a very good job already.
Which brings me to the subject of our post: What the hell have I done and how the hell am I going to make it through October?
Part of my game plan, a very large part actually, is to not eat out the entire month. No, I won't succeed, but if I make it my goal to never do it, I will fail less than if my goal is to "not eat out very often." Trust me. I've tried the latter.
This means I have to do the task I've dreaded for.ev.er. Make a meal plan. Aaaaaahhhhh. Even saying the thought makes me cringe. You see, once in college I had this roommate who posted the days of the week with their corresponding meals on the refrigerator. All three roommates chipped in for shared groceries to reduce expenses. No big deal. Except one time the other roommate and I made a meal that didn't correspond with the list and Meal-planning roommate went apeshit on us because we used the cheese that was earmarked for the enchiladas or whatever on Thursday. AS IF WE COULDN'T BUY MORE F-ING CHEESE. I digress.
The goal: Take lunch to work, make nutritious, cheap meals for dinner - use leftovers for lunch/dinner later on (read: No microwave shit)
Plan of attack: Meal plan, grocery list, banning microwave meals from fridge (insert sad face for lazy Niki)
Progress (unless otherwise noted, Clif bars for breakfast):
Oct 1 - Ate lunch at home. I think it consisted of two pieces of toast and Marmite or a microwave Amy's Organic Black Bean Burrito (had not been to store yet). Dinner - cereal, 4 margaritas (only 99cents each), chips & salsa (free w/margaritas)
Oct 2 - Convinced boss to buy lunch at local deli! Ate hodge-podge of yummy junk food at movie night. Still did not go to store.
Oct 3 - Hungover from movie night and/or beginning swine flu symptoms. Ate leftover brown rice for breakfast, Clif bar for lunch on the way to friend's parents' house at the beach, free pizza & beer for dinner. Um...accidentally had $29 bar tab. Whoops. Not entirely my fault, peeps put drinks on my tab, too drunk to sort out.
Oct 4 - Cheez-Its and burned cookies leftover from midnight snack for breakfast. Free pizza for lunch. Leftover pizza for dinner. Still have not gone to store as on vacation, returned too tired to care. Obviously. Attempt meal planning, brain could not cope with the pressure.
Oct 5 - Had to buy lunch as was at out-of-town court, no groceries to make to-go lunch. Leftover free pizza for dinner. (In case you're counting, that's approximately 4/7 meals, not counting the pizza consumed as part of movie night on Friday. When I informed R of this statistic + intent to eat only cereal for entire month, his response: Are you in college?) DID make it to store w/half-ass grocery list and ingredients purchased for real, adult meal the next day!!
Oct 6 - Toast with avocado for lunch, popcorn w/nutritional yeast & pita w/cheese for dinner. Yeah, I didn't quite make The Grit "Golden Bowl" as I had intended, but turns out nutritional yeast is excellent on popcorn (thanks organic store clerks!). Tomorrow, I swear. Tomorrow I'm going to do it. I will make nutritious dinner!
Yep, well. Off to a good start, aren't I?
So I get paid. Then I do something really, really stupid. I buy a plane ticket to Florida for Halloween weekend. SHUT. UP. It had to be done, and I don't want to hear another chastising word about it; my mother has done a very good job already.
Which brings me to the subject of our post: What the hell have I done and how the hell am I going to make it through October?
Part of my game plan, a very large part actually, is to not eat out the entire month. No, I won't succeed, but if I make it my goal to never do it, I will fail less than if my goal is to "not eat out very often." Trust me. I've tried the latter.
This means I have to do the task I've dreaded for.ev.er. Make a meal plan. Aaaaaahhhhh. Even saying the thought makes me cringe. You see, once in college I had this roommate who posted the days of the week with their corresponding meals on the refrigerator. All three roommates chipped in for shared groceries to reduce expenses. No big deal. Except one time the other roommate and I made a meal that didn't correspond with the list and Meal-planning roommate went apeshit on us because we used the cheese that was earmarked for the enchiladas or whatever on Thursday. AS IF WE COULDN'T BUY MORE F-ING CHEESE. I digress.
The goal: Take lunch to work, make nutritious, cheap meals for dinner - use leftovers for lunch/dinner later on (read: No microwave shit)
Plan of attack: Meal plan, grocery list, banning microwave meals from fridge (insert sad face for lazy Niki)
Progress (unless otherwise noted, Clif bars for breakfast):
Oct 1 - Ate lunch at home. I think it consisted of two pieces of toast and Marmite or a microwave Amy's Organic Black Bean Burrito (had not been to store yet). Dinner - cereal, 4 margaritas (only 99cents each), chips & salsa (free w/margaritas)
Oct 2 - Convinced boss to buy lunch at local deli! Ate hodge-podge of yummy junk food at movie night. Still did not go to store.
Oct 3 - Hungover from movie night and/or beginning swine flu symptoms. Ate leftover brown rice for breakfast, Clif bar for lunch on the way to friend's parents' house at the beach, free pizza & beer for dinner. Um...accidentally had $29 bar tab. Whoops. Not entirely my fault, peeps put drinks on my tab, too drunk to sort out.
Oct 4 - Cheez-Its and burned cookies leftover from midnight snack for breakfast. Free pizza for lunch. Leftover pizza for dinner. Still have not gone to store as on vacation, returned too tired to care. Obviously. Attempt meal planning, brain could not cope with the pressure.
Oct 5 - Had to buy lunch as was at out-of-town court, no groceries to make to-go lunch. Leftover free pizza for dinner. (In case you're counting, that's approximately 4/7 meals, not counting the pizza consumed as part of movie night on Friday. When I informed R of this statistic + intent to eat only cereal for entire month, his response: Are you in college?) DID make it to store w/half-ass grocery list and ingredients purchased for real, adult meal the next day!!
Oct 6 - Toast with avocado for lunch, popcorn w/nutritional yeast & pita w/cheese for dinner. Yeah, I didn't quite make The Grit "Golden Bowl" as I had intended, but turns out nutritional yeast is excellent on popcorn (thanks organic store clerks!). Tomorrow, I swear. Tomorrow I'm going to do it. I will make nutritious dinner!
Yep, well. Off to a good start, aren't I?
Friday, October 02, 2009
On Love
This Happy Yoga book I've been reading is kind of blowing my mind. It has really helped me realize that if you're unhappy, sometimes you need to actively try to be happy, like actually put forth some effort. At first that seems counterintuitive, but after putting forth effort, eventually it becomes second nature. (And yes, I've had quite a few 99 cent margaritas as I type this.)
Anyway. This week I started the chapter on love. An excerpt that I just fucking love:
There is an analogy that follows about chocolate and how eating eight buckets of chocolate doesn't give us eight times the satisfaction because "satisfaction comes from you." The point of the parts I've read so far is that you cannot get fulfillment from relationships; you can only be fulfilled from yourself. Only by letting go of wanting X from your partner or friend or family member can you truly love them; you must accept them as they are.
One way the book suggests to practice this: pick a random person - on the street, in a car, at the store - and see them, accept them, approve of them. Be love.
So I thought, ok, I'll give this a shot. Guess what? NOT FUCKING EASY. I thought it wouldn't be that hard, but holy hell, it's totally hard. First person I picked on Monday was a lady in the courthouse, a couple hundred pounds overweight, ratty hair, coke-bottle glasses. I focused on her, tried to accept her and appreciate her just has she was.
Then I walked by her and got a couple whiffs of awful cigarette smoke. I was done. Over. Disgusted. Literally said, "Eeeew! Gross!" to myself.
Then I tried the A.D.A. that day in court. He was being an ass. Impossible. Could. Not. Do. It.
Of course, Monday I also wanted to hit someone so bad that I ran myself to death on the treadmill after work so that I wouldn't get in a fight, so perhaps that wasn't the *best* day to try this new, positive, loving me.
So last night I decided I would try again today, except I had a new conceptualization of the project. I realized my definitions of love did not encompass what I was supposed to feel. I didn't love these people like a family member, friend, or significant other, because I didn't know them that way. The point was to love them and appreciate them as members of the Earth, part of the world; we are all in it together.
Like squirrels.
People are squirrels.
I don't know squirrels, and those shits can cause me a lot of grief when Masala tries to jerk me around to chase them. Yet everytime I see them, I smile. They make me happy. I fucking love squirrels and appreciate them as part of the animal kingdom.
So today in court, I tried that shit. Pretended people were different breeds of squirrels. And you know what? Didn't totally worked, but got much farther than last time.
Squirrels, ya'll. Squirrels are the key.
Anyway. This week I started the chapter on love. An excerpt that I just fucking love:
The love you experience at any time with any person is not coming from them; it's coming from inside of you. It's your experience of your true self. In other words, the other person is a stimulus that allows your own love to be uncovered. - Steve Ross, Happy Yoga: 7 Reasons There's Nothing to Worry About
There is an analogy that follows about chocolate and how eating eight buckets of chocolate doesn't give us eight times the satisfaction because "satisfaction comes from you." The point of the parts I've read so far is that you cannot get fulfillment from relationships; you can only be fulfilled from yourself. Only by letting go of wanting X from your partner or friend or family member can you truly love them; you must accept them as they are.
One way the book suggests to practice this: pick a random person - on the street, in a car, at the store - and see them, accept them, approve of them. Be love.
So I thought, ok, I'll give this a shot. Guess what? NOT FUCKING EASY. I thought it wouldn't be that hard, but holy hell, it's totally hard. First person I picked on Monday was a lady in the courthouse, a couple hundred pounds overweight, ratty hair, coke-bottle glasses. I focused on her, tried to accept her and appreciate her just has she was.
Then I walked by her and got a couple whiffs of awful cigarette smoke. I was done. Over. Disgusted. Literally said, "Eeeew! Gross!" to myself.
Then I tried the A.D.A. that day in court. He was being an ass. Impossible. Could. Not. Do. It.
Of course, Monday I also wanted to hit someone so bad that I ran myself to death on the treadmill after work so that I wouldn't get in a fight, so perhaps that wasn't the *best* day to try this new, positive, loving me.
So last night I decided I would try again today, except I had a new conceptualization of the project. I realized my definitions of love did not encompass what I was supposed to feel. I didn't love these people like a family member, friend, or significant other, because I didn't know them that way. The point was to love them and appreciate them as members of the Earth, part of the world; we are all in it together.
Like squirrels.
People are squirrels.
I don't know squirrels, and those shits can cause me a lot of grief when Masala tries to jerk me around to chase them. Yet everytime I see them, I smile. They make me happy. I fucking love squirrels and appreciate them as part of the animal kingdom.
So today in court, I tried that shit. Pretended people were different breeds of squirrels. And you know what? Didn't totally worked, but got much farther than last time.
Squirrels, ya'll. Squirrels are the key.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Wine: A Girl's Best Friend.
Soooo. I go a little tipsy tonight. And when I blog like this, I try to keep lal typos for you guys to enjoy/jlaugh at me about.
Things I would blog about if I wasn't tipsy and about to watch some motha-fuckin' Dexgter:
* Mouse in house ate tomato = declaration of War = WTF? I cannot handle this. Need man person, STAT.
* I love my dog. he's the cutest dog ever.
* Dixon on the new 90210 is a-DORE-ah-bull.
* Know what I love more than lots of other stuff? half=popped pocorn kernals. i mean, popcorn kernels. fuck. this is hard.
* Learned v important yogi lesson today - will not always be in a good mood. Important thing is to ride the wave, realize you will get through it, know what helps pull you out of it, and not get bogged down in wallowing in it. Things are changing. Things. Are. Changing.
* New Conor Oberst project came out today. Monsters of Folk. So far not exactly loving it. Haven't even purchased it. Motto is normally: Conor can do no wrong. Potentially first time Conor fail. If this is true, entire pereception of world altered froever. fuck.
Things I would blog about if I wasn't tipsy and about to watch some motha-fuckin' Dexgter:
* Mouse in house ate tomato = declaration of War = WTF? I cannot handle this. Need man person, STAT.
* I love my dog. he's the cutest dog ever.
* Dixon on the new 90210 is a-DORE-ah-bull.
* Know what I love more than lots of other stuff? half=popped pocorn kernals. i mean, popcorn kernels. fuck. this is hard.
* Learned v important yogi lesson today - will not always be in a good mood. Important thing is to ride the wave, realize you will get through it, know what helps pull you out of it, and not get bogged down in wallowing in it. Things are changing. Things. Are. Changing.
* New Conor Oberst project came out today. Monsters of Folk. So far not exactly loving it. Haven't even purchased it. Motto is normally: Conor can do no wrong. Potentially first time Conor fail. If this is true, entire pereception of world altered froever. fuck.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Daily Zen
"You might want to consider the possibility that the root of your problems doesn't have quite as much to do with the external world as you might imagine. It's more likely that your reaction and interpretation of any given situation will dictate the nature of your experience. Yes, you can try to change the world, you can move to another town, you can divorce your spouse and find a new one, but your experience of the world cannot change until you become mindful of how you react."- Steve Ross, Happy Yoga
This morning I woke up in something of a funk. I slept in until 10am, which hasn't happened in I don't know how long. Because I'd fallen asleep watching football last night, I essentially slept 12 hours. Again, I cannot tell you the last time I slept that much. So I woke up groggy and confused, to say the least.
After walking Masala for 45 minutes or so, I was feeling more alive and awake, so I decided to take my book, Happy Yoga: 7 Reasons Why There's Nothing to Worry About, into my yoga room for inspiration. I figured a lot of people were in church working on their spirituality at just that moment, so I should take a crack at it, too.
The passage above was part of what I read today. It was followed by an "Inner Yoga" exercise which instructed me to set a timer for three minutes. In that three minutes I was supposed to ignore the external world and focus on myself. Observe my thoughts. Notice what I was thinking and feeling, without judgment. Become aware of my relationship with myself.
I rolled my eyes and set my phone alarm. To be honest, I expected this mini-meditation to be torture, but the time actually flew by. And you know what? I learned that I am internally fidgety, that nothing is ever just right. That I am always expecting a little bit more out of myself and am never satisfied.
In retrospect, this self I discovered is completely obvious. I'm Type A. Ambitious. Perfectionistic. But to see it within myself for three minutes really drove the point home that the paragraph was teaching me. If I don't learn to accept myself - and my circumstances and people around me - I will never truly be happy.
So just for today, I tried to stop figeting. I tried to quiet my mind and take everything as it comes. I tried to remain calm and not stress about the thousand other things I could/should be doing other than the one thing I was doing.
And you know what? It actually worked. I did the suggested yoga poses to get me in the right frame of mind, and after that, today was marvelous. Content. I accomplished a fair bit, but did so with a peace of mind that was astonishing and refreshing.
I know tomorrow and the next day continuing this practice of calm acceptance will be more difficult, and to be sure I will not be perfect. But today I learned that that will be okay, that I don't have to be perfect to be happy.
This morning I woke up in something of a funk. I slept in until 10am, which hasn't happened in I don't know how long. Because I'd fallen asleep watching football last night, I essentially slept 12 hours. Again, I cannot tell you the last time I slept that much. So I woke up groggy and confused, to say the least.
After walking Masala for 45 minutes or so, I was feeling more alive and awake, so I decided to take my book, Happy Yoga: 7 Reasons Why There's Nothing to Worry About, into my yoga room for inspiration. I figured a lot of people were in church working on their spirituality at just that moment, so I should take a crack at it, too.
The passage above was part of what I read today. It was followed by an "Inner Yoga" exercise which instructed me to set a timer for three minutes. In that three minutes I was supposed to ignore the external world and focus on myself. Observe my thoughts. Notice what I was thinking and feeling, without judgment. Become aware of my relationship with myself.
I rolled my eyes and set my phone alarm. To be honest, I expected this mini-meditation to be torture, but the time actually flew by. And you know what? I learned that I am internally fidgety, that nothing is ever just right. That I am always expecting a little bit more out of myself and am never satisfied.
In retrospect, this self I discovered is completely obvious. I'm Type A. Ambitious. Perfectionistic. But to see it within myself for three minutes really drove the point home that the paragraph was teaching me. If I don't learn to accept myself - and my circumstances and people around me - I will never truly be happy.
So just for today, I tried to stop figeting. I tried to quiet my mind and take everything as it comes. I tried to remain calm and not stress about the thousand other things I could/should be doing other than the one thing I was doing.
And you know what? It actually worked. I did the suggested yoga poses to get me in the right frame of mind, and after that, today was marvelous. Content. I accomplished a fair bit, but did so with a peace of mind that was astonishing and refreshing.
I know tomorrow and the next day continuing this practice of calm acceptance will be more difficult, and to be sure I will not be perfect. But today I learned that that will be okay, that I don't have to be perfect to be happy.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Sunrise, Sunset
This summer has been incredible, almost better than I could ask for, really. It has been one fun adventure after another. A smile has been nearly permanently afixed on my face.
Tonight, it is over. Fall is slowly replacing Summer. My heart is becoming heavy with dread as I anticipate colder temperatures and no imminent adventures on the horizon.
I know more good times will come, but they just seem to naturally arise in the summer like no other time of year. I always hate this part, the part where I have to put my summer in a box of memories.
Sure, I should and could have a better attitude about the changing of the seasons. I will probably work on that tomorrow.
Tonight, though, tonight it is over. And I am sad.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
New Version of Me
There's a longer post swimming around in my head about this, but I'm far too tired to let it out coherently.
Spent most of the day at the beach with good friends after a night out partying until 6am. My hair is slowly making its way back blonde. It's prime time for flip flops, tank tops, and skirts. My skin is a golden tan. For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling like me. I can't help but feel that my internal existential crisis has been entangled with my outward appearance, but like the chicken and the egg, I can't tell you which came first.
All I know is that today, yesterday, last weekend, I've seen glimpses of the girl I remember from Australia, the me I want to be, carefree, spontaneous. . .happy.
And damn, I didn't know how much I missed Felicity until I searched for this title sequence. Fucking good tv show, JJ Abrams before he got LOST or had an Alias. Must seek out entire 4 seasons on DVD immediately.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Major Dilemma
I think there is a mouse in my house.
I do not want to deal with this. I don't even kill spiders in my house; I scoop them up and take them outside. Now, a real live furry thing may be running around and the only thing I can think of to do about it is buy one of those disgusting killer cheese traps. UGH.
On the other hand, if I got some sort of humane trapper or whatever (do they even exist?), I don't want to pick up a living, breathing rodent. UGH.
If I got poison, it may die, smell, and I'll have no idea where the hell it is. Not to mention, Masala could get his little nose in it. UGH.
DO. NOT. WANT. TO DEAL WITH THIS.
I think this settles it. I need a rent-a-husband, stat.
I do not want to deal with this. I don't even kill spiders in my house; I scoop them up and take them outside. Now, a real live furry thing may be running around and the only thing I can think of to do about it is buy one of those disgusting killer cheese traps. UGH.
On the other hand, if I got some sort of humane trapper or whatever (do they even exist?), I don't want to pick up a living, breathing rodent. UGH.
If I got poison, it may die, smell, and I'll have no idea where the hell it is. Not to mention, Masala could get his little nose in it. UGH.
DO. NOT. WANT. TO DEAL WITH THIS.
I think this settles it. I need a rent-a-husband, stat.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
I am not dead.
Dear Internets,
I'm alive! Please accept my sincere apologies for the lack of posting lately. Life has been a little bit difficult the past few weeks making blog motivation scarce.
Good news is that I think I'm turning a corner. Bad news is that after an awesome weekend, I don't have the energy to post more than this note at the moment.
Hopefully all my readers have not abandoned me. Many thanks for your perseverance, loyalty, and understanding.
xoxo,
Nik
I'm alive! Please accept my sincere apologies for the lack of posting lately. Life has been a little bit difficult the past few weeks making blog motivation scarce.
Good news is that I think I'm turning a corner. Bad news is that after an awesome weekend, I don't have the energy to post more than this note at the moment.
Hopefully all my readers have not abandoned me. Many thanks for your perseverance, loyalty, and understanding.
xoxo,
Nik
Monday, June 08, 2009
Happy Birthday to Me!
No, you guys aren't in bizarro world, I'm just pre-planning. Also, one's 30th birthday is a milestone event, so I've just-this-very-moment decided to celebrate it until the year 2010.
Going to *hopefully* see Rafa in person at the beginning of September! This morning I purchased tickets to four "sessions" of tennis at the US Open at Arthur Ashe Stadium. Keeping fingers crossed Rafa plays during one of those sessions and on that court or else someone is going to get a beatdown.
Now that I think about it, throw the Conor concert in late July into the birthday festivities as well.
Birthdays rock. Everyone celebrate yours today!
Going to *hopefully* see Rafa in person at the beginning of September! This morning I purchased tickets to four "sessions" of tennis at the US Open at Arthur Ashe Stadium. Keeping fingers crossed Rafa plays during one of those sessions and on that court or else someone is going to get a beatdown.
Now that I think about it, throw the Conor concert in late July into the birthday festivities as well.
Birthdays rock. Everyone celebrate yours today!
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Positivity
Watching The O.C. Season 2 on DVD. It is fantasamagoric. Yes. Fantasmagoric. Right now, it is practically the only thing that is pure, effortless happiness that doesn't give me a hangover. I am not lying to you when I say that I wish Seth Cohen was a real person.
Go out and watch it! Season 1 is ok, but Season 2 is great.
Other happy news - there are bunnies everywhere! Of course, this morning I saw a baby bunny in a neighbor's yard while walking the dog only to see same bunny as roadkill 1 hour later on the way to work. I know. I almost cried right then and there except I had to be in court and mascara running down my face is not cool for clients or judges. Now that I think about it, the very first time I cried myself to sleep was when my mom accidentally hit a rabbit on the way home from my grandparents' house in second grade. I vividly remember her telling me the rabbit *might* be ok because he hopped away, but still wondering if his leg was broken or something equally horrible.
Anyway, there are lots of bunnies, well, I hope there are lots and not just the same one I see everywhere that is now dead. Oh shit. Ok. Will think positive thoughts, positive thoughts about living, breathing baby bunnies!
Go out and watch it! Season 1 is ok, but Season 2 is great.
Other happy news - there are bunnies everywhere! Of course, this morning I saw a baby bunny in a neighbor's yard while walking the dog only to see same bunny as roadkill 1 hour later on the way to work. I know. I almost cried right then and there except I had to be in court and mascara running down my face is not cool for clients or judges. Now that I think about it, the very first time I cried myself to sleep was when my mom accidentally hit a rabbit on the way home from my grandparents' house in second grade. I vividly remember her telling me the rabbit *might* be ok because he hopped away, but still wondering if his leg was broken or something equally horrible.
Anyway, there are lots of bunnies, well, I hope there are lots and not just the same one I see everywhere that is now dead. Oh shit. Ok. Will think positive thoughts, positive thoughts about living, breathing baby bunnies!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Kate Chopin Would Be Proud...Or Would She?
Today I went to the beach to read and catch some rays, because despite all the bad habits I've managed to break from my Southern upbringing (i.e. Crisco, white bread, sugar water sweet tea), getting a fabulous tan is still one of my vices. It makes me happier to be brownish rather than pasty white, ok? I get that I will have more wrinkles (and risk getting skin cancer), so yeah, I've totally reeled it in some, but I'm not Nicole Kidman. Pale does not look good on me. Pale makes me look sick, tired, and worst of all, ugly. I digress.
So I'm at the beach. Also went to the beach on Friday, where I tried to get in the ocean; just putting my feet in was enough to make me wish I had a sweater. Naturally, my hopes were not that high for swimming today.
After three hours of sitting and reading, I decided what the hell, let's check on the water temperature today.
Nope. Still cold.
And then something inside snapped. The thing that makes me behave rationally went on vacation or had a short or something, because all of a sudden, it became imperative that I get in that fucking freezing ass water.
Damn. It. I hate it when I do this to myself. I decide I'm going to do something stupid. I realize shortly thereafter thing is stupid, but by then it's too late. I've set forth a goal, and I'll be damned if I'm going to quit. My daddy didn't raise a quitter (told ya, Southern upbringing). So there I was. Stuck. Probably moments away from going into hypothermia or whatever but completely incapable of stopping it.
I'll skip the part where I inch in body part by body part until I suck it up and take the plunge because the plunge. . .it was fantastic. It was cleansing and invigorating and beautiful and yes, cold as balls, but then I couldn't stop.
Afterwards I felt very satisfied, proud of myself for going in when no one else would, for using the beach as it was intended rather than using it as a glorified sun deck. It reminded me that sometimes we need to push ourselves to the edge, even jump off the cliff, to truly experience life and learn that we are far stronger than we once believed. It helps if the weather is warm and there's a towel handy, but you get the drift. : )
Next time, jump in.
So I'm at the beach. Also went to the beach on Friday, where I tried to get in the ocean; just putting my feet in was enough to make me wish I had a sweater. Naturally, my hopes were not that high for swimming today.
After three hours of sitting and reading, I decided what the hell, let's check on the water temperature today.
Nope. Still cold.
And then something inside snapped. The thing that makes me behave rationally went on vacation or had a short or something, because all of a sudden, it became imperative that I get in that fucking freezing ass water.
Damn. It. I hate it when I do this to myself. I decide I'm going to do something stupid. I realize shortly thereafter thing is stupid, but by then it's too late. I've set forth a goal, and I'll be damned if I'm going to quit. My daddy didn't raise a quitter (told ya, Southern upbringing). So there I was. Stuck. Probably moments away from going into hypothermia or whatever but completely incapable of stopping it.
I'll skip the part where I inch in body part by body part until I suck it up and take the plunge because the plunge. . .it was fantastic. It was cleansing and invigorating and beautiful and yes, cold as balls, but then I couldn't stop.
Afterwards I felt very satisfied, proud of myself for going in when no one else would, for using the beach as it was intended rather than using it as a glorified sun deck. It reminded me that sometimes we need to push ourselves to the edge, even jump off the cliff, to truly experience life and learn that we are far stronger than we once believed. It helps if the weather is warm and there's a towel handy, but you get the drift. : )
Next time, jump in.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
WTF Happened?
I have no idea. One minute I'm full of inspiration and creativity. The next, nothin'. Maybe it's Twitter. Maybe it's too much tennis. Maybe it's summer. Maybe it's TV season finales. Whatever it is, I'm hoping it will come back soon.
OH. Guess what? I'M GOING TO SEE CONOR OBERST IN ATHENS MOTHER FUCKERS! Yep. I couldn't make the DC-area show and currently no shows around my neck of the woods. Plus...Conor. In the fucking 40 Watt. As I told my co-workers after my post-court pre-lunch can't-get-tickets panic, "it's a dream show." So. Excited. Two months away. I won't sleep until it's here. Muchos gracias to Ash who gave me a hook up. Ash, today you are totally my hero!
OH. Guess what? I'M GOING TO SEE CONOR OBERST IN ATHENS MOTHER FUCKERS! Yep. I couldn't make the DC-area show and currently no shows around my neck of the woods. Plus...Conor. In the fucking 40 Watt. As I told my co-workers after my post-court pre-lunch can't-get-tickets panic, "it's a dream show." So. Excited. Two months away. I won't sleep until it's here. Muchos gracias to Ash who gave me a hook up. Ash, today you are totally my hero!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Battle Your Blogger
Q: How many boxes of cereal do you currently have in your pantry/cabinets?
Put your answer in the comments. If you beat me, I will send you a prize. I hear you screaming at the computer, "How can we trust you?!" Easy. Honor Code.
Oh, alright. I'll give you photographic evidence and Girl Scout's honor not to go buy a whole bunch of cereal just to win.
Because I'm a lawyer and some of you might try to cheat/fib: Cereal = the shit on the cereal aisle in the prototypical rectangular box, although if it came from the "organic" cereal aisle, that's ok, too. It does NOT include other similar breakfast foods which hav to be heated such as oatmeal or grits (otherwise, ya'll ain't got a chance of beating me, I swear), but DOES include granola, whether or not contained in box. If it typically comes in a box but you got the cheap kind that comes in a bag, that's ok. Count it. Is this clear enough? DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?
Contest ends Wednesday, May 29, 5pm EST (or until I post the answer, whichever comes later).
Put your answer in the comments. If you beat me, I will send you a prize. I hear you screaming at the computer, "How can we trust you?!" Easy. Honor Code.
Oh, alright. I'll give you photographic evidence and Girl Scout's honor not to go buy a whole bunch of cereal just to win.
Because I'm a lawyer and some of you might try to cheat/fib: Cereal = the shit on the cereal aisle in the prototypical rectangular box, although if it came from the "organic" cereal aisle, that's ok, too. It does NOT include other similar breakfast foods which hav to be heated such as oatmeal or grits (otherwise, ya'll ain't got a chance of beating me, I swear), but DOES include granola, whether or not contained in box. If it typically comes in a box but you got the cheap kind that comes in a bag, that's ok. Count it. Is this clear enough? DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?
Contest ends Wednesday, May 29, 5pm EST (or until I post the answer, whichever comes later).
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Thursday Update
118 lbs (must be at perfect weight after salad for lunch + running on treadmill without dying + walking the dog + lemon cake at lunch + lentils for dinner); alcohol units: 0 (hope to rectify this tomorrow, assuming thirst for "the drink" returns from Death Virus hiatus in time); life outside work/internet/dog: 0 (hate long weekends with nothing to do...heard rumor of band playing tomorrow, will contact one and only non-work friend who lives in shithole town to see if she is going)
Well, I really do hate to post and move the pictures down the page, but I suppose at some point it must be done.
Am doing terrible Bridget impersonation. Any self-respecting Bridget would be colossally pissed right now (in the British way, not the American way) singing along with Chaka Khan. However, evil Death Virus has sapped my body of any craving for alcohol whatsoever and replaced it with an insatiable desire for cookies, cake, and chocolate. I'm not joking. I think about these 3 things more than I think about sex. And that's saying something, people.
Tonight did very good job of resisting the urge to cry on the couch with a tub of ice cream. Instead turned sadness into determination and ran for 45 minutes on the treadmill. My 5k training guide said to do 3 ten minute intervals of running at RPE 6 interspersed with 2 minutes of walking. So I did 4 ten minute/2 minute intervals, and thought my left knee might leave me for another girl around minute 35. But I begged and pleaded and it made it through, and honestly I think our relationship may be stronger than ever.
Ugh. Speaking of relationships, was very bad today. After nearly two weeks, succumbed to inevitable break-up sex with Perez Hilton. Was good while it lasted but left me feeling empty and unfulfilled after. Best part about it is that I realized I'm not really missing all that much since I left him and reaffirmed my decision to part ways. So that's a relief.
Still have not made co-workers' thank-you cookies. Partly because Mon/Tues was exhausted and partly because Wed was afraid I would eat entire batch alone and couldn't bring myself to tempt fate. Did successfully make red lentils, although not on Sunday as had hoped. Was not my fault, though. Red lentils had gone off and needed to purchase new ones. Also was not my fault about the peach salad thingy because peaches were awful. Will never buy bloody Chilean peaches again!
Ooooh. Am doing fabulously on the no pre-packaged/frozen dinner goal. None so far this week! Monday ate cereal, Tuesday ate pretzels and hummus, Wednesday ate lentils, Thursday ate leftover lentils. Huzzah! Am culinary nutritional genius!
Ah, what else...have done well with the working out and have managed to keep kitchen in semi-neat state ever since cleaning on Sunday. Also completed 3 loads of laundry! Is miracle. Consider self a champion and any other goals completed = icing on the cake. Mmmm. Cake. Wonder if I have all the ingredients to make one. Fuck the cake, actually. Just want some icing! Damn you, Death Virus.
Well, I really do hate to post and move the pictures down the page, but I suppose at some point it must be done.
Am doing terrible Bridget impersonation. Any self-respecting Bridget would be colossally pissed right now (in the British way, not the American way) singing along with Chaka Khan. However, evil Death Virus has sapped my body of any craving for alcohol whatsoever and replaced it with an insatiable desire for cookies, cake, and chocolate. I'm not joking. I think about these 3 things more than I think about sex. And that's saying something, people.
Tonight did very good job of resisting the urge to cry on the couch with a tub of ice cream. Instead turned sadness into determination and ran for 45 minutes on the treadmill. My 5k training guide said to do 3 ten minute intervals of running at RPE 6 interspersed with 2 minutes of walking. So I did 4 ten minute/2 minute intervals, and thought my left knee might leave me for another girl around minute 35. But I begged and pleaded and it made it through, and honestly I think our relationship may be stronger than ever.
Ugh. Speaking of relationships, was very bad today. After nearly two weeks, succumbed to inevitable break-up sex with Perez Hilton. Was good while it lasted but left me feeling empty and unfulfilled after. Best part about it is that I realized I'm not really missing all that much since I left him and reaffirmed my decision to part ways. So that's a relief.
Still have not made co-workers' thank-you cookies. Partly because Mon/Tues was exhausted and partly because Wed was afraid I would eat entire batch alone and couldn't bring myself to tempt fate. Did successfully make red lentils, although not on Sunday as had hoped. Was not my fault, though. Red lentils had gone off and needed to purchase new ones. Also was not my fault about the peach salad thingy because peaches were awful. Will never buy bloody Chilean peaches again!
Ooooh. Am doing fabulously on the no pre-packaged/frozen dinner goal. None so far this week! Monday ate cereal, Tuesday ate pretzels and hummus, Wednesday ate lentils, Thursday ate leftover lentils. Huzzah! Am culinary nutritional genius!
Ah, what else...have done well with the working out and have managed to keep kitchen in semi-neat state ever since cleaning on Sunday. Also completed 3 loads of laundry! Is miracle. Consider self a champion and any other goals completed = icing on the cake. Mmmm. Cake. Wonder if I have all the ingredients to make one. Fuck the cake, actually. Just want some icing! Damn you, Death Virus.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Bridget = Me therefore Me = Bridget?
1** lbs (have no idea, as am in beautiful zen-like place where do not own scale, also trying desperately to hold on to empty stomach skinny feeling, a welcome after-effect of the Death Virus), alcohol units 0, cigarettes 0 (although never smoke, so would be shocked if this number reached above 0), exercise completed 0 (but have good intentions for later, so is good)
Last night I was feeling tired, depressed, and worst of all, bored. I tried to watch the NCAA Final Four, but it turns out I don't really care. I could've watched a movie but nothing on Netflix really seemed interesting, plus I knew I'd fall asleep. Oddly enough I felt like reading. Earlier in the day I walked down to the waterfront and forced myself to sit there until I finished The Subtle Knife no matter how hard the wind tried to blow me away. This made me remember the joy of reading, but I wasn't really in the mood to read any of the random non-fiction books I've accumulated on my bookshelf to read.
So I did something I almost never do. I decided to re-read a book. And you've probably guessed, that book is Bridget Jones's Diary. From page 1 I knew I'd made the right decision. The book opens with her lists of things she "Will" and "Will Not" do in the new year (aka resolutions). This, of course, weaves a cohesive thread through a lot of her diary entries the rest of the year. A brief selection which proves Bridge and I are about 90% the exact same person:
"I WILL NOT:
* Drink more than 14 alcohol units a week
* Behave sluttishly around the house, but instead imagine others are watching
* Spend more than earn
* Fall for any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomaniacs, chauvinists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders, perverts
I WILL:
* Reduce circumference of thighs by 3 inches (i.e. 1.5 inches each) using anticellulite diet
* Save up money in form of savings. Poss start pension also
* Make better use of time
* Not go out every night but stay in and read books and listen to classical music
* Get up straight away when wake up in mornings
* Go to gym three times a week not merely to buy sandwich
* Make up compilation "mood" tapes so can have tapes ready with all favorite romantic/dancing/rousing/feminist etc. tracks assembled instead of turning into drink-sodden DJ-style person with tapes scattered all over the floor
The last one in particular really made me giggle and realize how similar Bridget and I are because at least once per day I think to myself, "I need to make an exercise/dancing/driving/empowering etc playlist on my iPod." I digress.
I'm not stupid enough to make a list of yearly resolutions because I've had plenty of practice not achieving lofty goals. However, it is good to have goals, so I thought why not try Bridget Jones-style this week and see how it goes.
Sunday goals
* Complete at least 3 loads of laundry (have already done half a load. Yay for small steps!)
* Clean kitchen
* Make those damn red lentils that have been sitting on the counter for an uncountable number of months with so much promise
* Make cookies for office (to thank them for help during last week's Death Virus and car fiasco)
* Resume workout regime after 1 week off due to Death Virus (in form of yoga, treadmill, and/or elliptical)
* Make Peach, Mozzarella, and Basil Salad that Jenn introduced me to last year and have been craving (and for which I bought the ingredients even though some of them may have come from Chile instead of locally...am bad environmentalist)
Weekly goals
* Continue workout regime at least 3/5 week days and 1/2 weekend days
* Bring lunch to work 2/5 days
* No pre-packaged frozen/boxed meals until at least Friday (when frozen Kashi pizza is acceptable)
* Blog in witty, brilliant, Bridget-fashion about success/failure of goals
* Read something not-on-the-internet every day for at least 5 minutes
* Buy birthday presents for people in March (i.e. Mom, niece)
As incentive for these goals I just dropped an embarassing amount of money at the grocery store, and since I'm broke, cannot justify spending any more money on food for the rest of the week. Of course, lunch with officemates is inevitable, so really eating a brought-from-home lunch even one day will be an improvement. Honestly, I have serious doubts about not eating pre-packaged meals because I'm often so exhausted by the time I finally get home and ready for dinner at 8pm. And STARVING. But we'll see. I'm going for meals that are easy to make and have ample leftovers.
Stay tuned....
Last night I was feeling tired, depressed, and worst of all, bored. I tried to watch the NCAA Final Four, but it turns out I don't really care. I could've watched a movie but nothing on Netflix really seemed interesting, plus I knew I'd fall asleep. Oddly enough I felt like reading. Earlier in the day I walked down to the waterfront and forced myself to sit there until I finished The Subtle Knife no matter how hard the wind tried to blow me away. This made me remember the joy of reading, but I wasn't really in the mood to read any of the random non-fiction books I've accumulated on my bookshelf to read.
So I did something I almost never do. I decided to re-read a book. And you've probably guessed, that book is Bridget Jones's Diary. From page 1 I knew I'd made the right decision. The book opens with her lists of things she "Will" and "Will Not" do in the new year (aka resolutions). This, of course, weaves a cohesive thread through a lot of her diary entries the rest of the year. A brief selection which proves Bridge and I are about 90% the exact same person:
"I WILL NOT:
* Drink more than 14 alcohol units a week
* Behave sluttishly around the house, but instead imagine others are watching
* Spend more than earn
* Fall for any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomaniacs, chauvinists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders, perverts
I WILL:
* Reduce circumference of thighs by 3 inches (i.e. 1.5 inches each) using anticellulite diet
* Save up money in form of savings. Poss start pension also
* Make better use of time
* Not go out every night but stay in and read books and listen to classical music
* Get up straight away when wake up in mornings
* Go to gym three times a week not merely to buy sandwich
* Make up compilation "mood" tapes so can have tapes ready with all favorite romantic/dancing/rousing/feminist etc. tracks assembled instead of turning into drink-sodden DJ-style person with tapes scattered all over the floor
The last one in particular really made me giggle and realize how similar Bridget and I are because at least once per day I think to myself, "I need to make an exercise/dancing/driving/empowering etc playlist on my iPod." I digress.
I'm not stupid enough to make a list of yearly resolutions because I've had plenty of practice not achieving lofty goals. However, it is good to have goals, so I thought why not try Bridget Jones-style this week and see how it goes.
Sunday goals
* Complete at least 3 loads of laundry (have already done half a load. Yay for small steps!)
* Clean kitchen
* Make those damn red lentils that have been sitting on the counter for an uncountable number of months with so much promise
* Make cookies for office (to thank them for help during last week's Death Virus and car fiasco)
* Resume workout regime after 1 week off due to Death Virus (in form of yoga, treadmill, and/or elliptical)
* Make Peach, Mozzarella, and Basil Salad that Jenn introduced me to last year and have been craving (and for which I bought the ingredients even though some of them may have come from Chile instead of locally...am bad environmentalist)
Weekly goals
* Continue workout regime at least 3/5 week days and 1/2 weekend days
* Bring lunch to work 2/5 days
* No pre-packaged frozen/boxed meals until at least Friday (when frozen Kashi pizza is acceptable)
* Blog in witty, brilliant, Bridget-fashion about success/failure of goals
* Read something not-on-the-internet every day for at least 5 minutes
* Buy birthday presents for people in March (i.e. Mom, niece)
As incentive for these goals I just dropped an embarassing amount of money at the grocery store, and since I'm broke, cannot justify spending any more money on food for the rest of the week. Of course, lunch with officemates is inevitable, so really eating a brought-from-home lunch even one day will be an improvement. Honestly, I have serious doubts about not eating pre-packaged meals because I'm often so exhausted by the time I finally get home and ready for dinner at 8pm. And STARVING. But we'll see. I'm going for meals that are easy to make and have ample leftovers.
Stay tuned....
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sick Day #2
An improvement from yesterday, except that after puking Gatorade twice last night, I was ordered by my mother at 815AM this morning "YOU ARE NOT to go to work!" So here I am again, couch-bound. It's probably for the best, since before about 30 minutes ago I hadn't eaten anything in over 24 hours. Ahh, sweet Cheerios, please treat me right. My body is still not well, even though mentally I'm a lot more present than yesterday.
It's funny the things that set off nausea. I desperately want to watch tennis, but the sound of the ball and watching it go back and forth does not agree with me. Today I thought would go better, but not so much. Luckily Rafa plays around 9PM, so cross fingers I can take it by then.
Commercials on tv are killer. I have to mute them and turn my head away or else I get super queasy. Even the computer and internet can be a bit much; yesterday I didn't even pick the damn thing up after about 1pm. Although today I checked my email, I still can't stomach the idea of Twitter or FB. In fact, I think to myself, "how could anyone ever stand so many different stimuli?" Of course, yesterday I wondered how anyone could ever eat, like, at all, so....
Having cable would definitely come in handy, but maybe I'll watch some or Bridget Jones' Diary or Love Actually to pass the time. Oooh...or I could check out what Netflix has to offer. Too bad hulu dropped the ball with season 3 of 30 Rock...I think that would be just about perfect.
It's also too bad I'm sick. If I was feeling my best this would be a fucking gold mine of humorous writing. Instead I'm bored and need something to do, so you get this boring fodder. Lucky you!
It's funny the things that set off nausea. I desperately want to watch tennis, but the sound of the ball and watching it go back and forth does not agree with me. Today I thought would go better, but not so much. Luckily Rafa plays around 9PM, so cross fingers I can take it by then.
Commercials on tv are killer. I have to mute them and turn my head away or else I get super queasy. Even the computer and internet can be a bit much; yesterday I didn't even pick the damn thing up after about 1pm. Although today I checked my email, I still can't stomach the idea of Twitter or FB. In fact, I think to myself, "how could anyone ever stand so many different stimuli?" Of course, yesterday I wondered how anyone could ever eat, like, at all, so....
Having cable would definitely come in handy, but maybe I'll watch some or Bridget Jones' Diary or Love Actually to pass the time. Oooh...or I could check out what Netflix has to offer. Too bad hulu dropped the ball with season 3 of 30 Rock...I think that would be just about perfect.
It's also too bad I'm sick. If I was feeling my best this would be a fucking gold mine of humorous writing. Instead I'm bored and need something to do, so you get this boring fodder. Lucky you!
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